"I don't want to go to school"

[Anonymous]

Is she being bullied at school? Ask her if she's having trouble with other kids. Listen to her response.

[Anonymous]

When my now-9 year old went through this phase and it came on suddenly, it took a long time for her to reveal all sorts of sneaky meanness and bullying that had become a part of her school day.

In her case, she was finally comfortable enough to tell me everything over a series of bedtime talks. Something about the dark room and the fear of the next day got her to share everything. I was pretty upset to hear how long she'd been holding everything in.

You don't want to lead them into negativity by asking "what bad thing happened today?", but when I started to get a gut feeling that something was off, I wish I had shared some times at school that I experienced sneaky bullying by boys and nasty meanness from girls.

All you can do now is keep your eyes and ears open. Your DD is at an age where she might appreciate the American Girl books that are about friendship (there are a few) and some reminders about what is and isn't normal. Gentle teasing or occasional thoughtless words is going to happen, but the emphasis at my kid's school on cooperation and inclusion made it difficult for my DD to realize that she didn't have to tolerate meanness.

One really useful reminder I gave DD was that if it wouldn't be ok for an adult to do or say something to another adult, it wasn't ok for a classmate to do or say that to her.

[Anonymous]

Figure out why. Talk to the teacher for input. Maybe she is bored. Maybe she has no friends. Maybe she’s being bullied.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You basically ignore it.

You win..worst parent for today. Congrats.

I didn't post above but I will say if you have an anxious kid like I do, several mornings I just acknowledge it and then we move on. "It's okay to feel like you don't want to go to school AND you are still going". Then we move on with our routine, I may help pick out her clothes and lunch/snacks on those days to keep things moving. Once she gets going, she's usually just fine. I prefer to use the afternoon/evening time to dive into what else is going on (stress about school, friend issue, etc).

The pp just said "ignore" And yes I do have anxious children. We do things but, I validate their feelings and we talk about it.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, it's your job. We all have to do things we don't want to. Sorry, but get moving.