I wish I could have a night at home without my kids

[Anonymous]

My kids have always gone to bed around 7:30/8 (as early as 6:45 when 3yo dropped nap) but are also early risers. Incredibly jealous of people whose parents take the kids for a night here or there. My parents would never.

[Anonymous]

My husband has been known to take my kids to a hotel for a night or two - particularly when I told him I was at a breaking point (which is perfectly normal when parenting!) On the other hand, when my kids were about the age of yours, I would once or twice a year go check myself into a hotel where I would order room service and sit and watch tv and read books all night. It's important to look after yourself, OP!

[Anonymous]

At the latest they should be in bed by 9 right? We do date night most Fridays which consists of cocktails and a movie in our own living room! Stay up til midnight or so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a single mom and when my mother takes my DD on an overnight all I do is get take out and chill on the sofa.

My you and your husband can take a night off and go to a hotel or take the kids to a hotel. Can you take a mental health day from work and spend the day at home?

That's what I did as a single mom. Is that possible OP?

[Anonymous]

Agree! Youngest is age 9 and all activities are drop off so I do get time in the evenings at home now, but its not the same as having the whole night. I do not miss going out but I do miss being alone in my home!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We get a sitter sometimes and go out but what I really miss is EVER being able to just hang out on my sofa for an evening. Get takeout and not have to do a single thing or talk to anyone. Our oldest is 7 so it’s been yeeaaaaars since I’ve had that and our youngest is 3 so we are yeaaars away from having kids out at friends houses in the evening. And because the 3yo still naps, bedtime isn’t over early enough to leave enough time to still have a relaxing evening on the sofa, I basically head straight to bed.

Yes I know “at least I can get a sitter on occasion” and all the other ways my life could be worse. I’m just so tired and I wish it was possible to have an evening off without having to go somewhere outside of my house

What?? At that age my kids had an 8 pm bedtime and I had the whole evening to myself! If anything I miss it now that they are 9 and 11 but I still have them IN BED by 815-830; lights out is usually 845-9!! Not later unless my husband is home and wants to do smores or we are out. I NEED a quiet evening because I everything to my kids all day and I recharge in quiet silence. At your kids ages, early bedtime for the kids was my sanity and I ran a tight ship to accomplish it! If you actually prioritize that evening downtime that you are so craving, I really do recommend you revisit their bedtime and see if you can tweak it downward a little bit.

[Anonymous]

When my siblings and I were little, my parents used to get an overnight sitter every other Friday and go “downtown.” (It was one of my mom’s coworkers mother.)

I always imagined them going to fancy dinners, dancing, and going to the theater. My mom told me recently that at least half the time they just got takeout, read, watched television, and slept.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We get a sitter sometimes and go out but what I really miss is EVER being able to just hang out on my sofa for an evening. Get takeout and not have to do a single thing or talk to anyone. Our oldest is 7 so it’s been yeeaaaaars since I’ve had that and our youngest is 3 so we are yeaaars away from having kids out at friends houses in the evening. And because the 3yo still naps, bedtime isn’t over early enough to leave enough time to still have a relaxing evening on the sofa, I basically head straight to bed.

Yes I know “at least I can get a sitter on occasion” and all the other ways my life could be worse. I’m just so tired and I wish it was possible to have an evening off without having to go somewhere outside of my house

What?? At that age my kids had an 8 pm bedtime and I had the whole evening to myself! If anything I miss it now that they are 9 and 11 but I still have them IN BED by 815-830; lights out is usually 845-9!! Not later unless my husband is home and wants to do smores or we are out. I NEED a quiet evening because I everything to my kids all day and I recharge in quiet silence. At your kids ages, early bedtime for the kids was my sanity and I ran a tight ship to accomplish it! If you actually prioritize that evening downtime that you are so craving, I really do recommend you revisit their bedtime and see if you can tweak it downward a little bit.

DP. My kids also go to bed at 8:30 or so, but I go to bed at like 9:30.

[Anonymous]

A lot of places offer "parents night out" type things -- the Virginia Science Center in Fair Oaks Mall just sent out an email about one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A lot of places offer "parents night out" type things -- the Virginia Science Center in Fair Oaks Mall just sent out an email about one.

This isn’t helpful though because you can’t unwind with your Jammie’s on and a glass of wine because you know you still have to get up and go get them, they’ll be all amped up, and you still here to get them in bed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe ask your husband to take your kids out of town for a night, or at least to a hotel, as a present to you? Set it up so it seems like a treat to the kids.

Coming to say the same! Dad takes kids for a camping weekend!

[Anonymous]

That’s a bet!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Send your kids with the sitter to a fleabag motel with a pool, one that has hourly rates, magic fingers on the bed, maybe a coin-operated TV.

Uh, better bring a blue light too.

[Anonymous]

Sign the 7 year old up for travel hockey; make husband take kid to tournaments; have 3 year old tag along.

Voila! Friday afternoon to Sunday evening alone in the house!

[Anonymous]

I hear you, OP. Whenever people say that they don’t want to divorce because they couldn’t stand not to see their kids every day, I’m always a little surprised.
There are a lot of things that seem really difficult about divorce. It feels like you failed, you don’t have as much money, you lose some of your friends, etc.
But having time apart from your kids seems like about the best part of it.