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Infants, Toddlers, & Preschoolers
What is a good age for "The Talk"
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Anonymous
If they keep asking questions (other than the inevitable why? why? why?), or seem really puzzled, it's probably not age appropriate. If you find something that satisfies their curiousity, it's probably fine. But there's no 100% right way to do it. And it won't be just one conversation, it'll be many as they learn to process more of what you've told them and as they learn more from elsewhere. |
Anonymous
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It should not be "the talk," but rather it should be a long series of age-appropriate talks over time. Never put off your child with "I'll tell you when you are older." If s/he is asking, provide an age-appropriate but honest and factually-correct answer. Explaining something on a 4-yr old level is different than on a 12-yr old level, but there is always some answer that you can give to even a young child. If you won't answer, your child will get an answer elsewhere (from their friends, etc.)
One thing I have continually reiterated with my daughter (she's 10) is that she can ask me anything and I will do my best to give her an answer. I told her that sometimes kids talk about these things but they often don't really know or understand what they're talking about, so she should come to me with her questions and there's nothing embarrassing about not knowing and wanting to ask me things. I think it's important to lay the groundwork for open communication on these issues as early as you can. My boys are younger and don't ask as many questions, but still, I always answer as honestly as I can and with what I think is an appropriate amount of information. The only time I have ever put off answering questions is if the circumstances really didn't permit me to answer right there on the spot (eg, I took my then 8-yr old daughter to a restaurant restroom and on the way back to our extended family at the table, she started asking about the tampon machine in the restroom and what it was for - it seemed ok to say "I'll tell you later" since there was no way to talk about it at the dinner table, but I made sure to bring it up when we got home that night, so she knew that I thought her question was a valid one and deserved an answer.) |
Anonymous
Not the PP but: "It's a special type of kissing between two people who really really like each other a lot."? |
Anonymous
I like this answer. Although I'd probably add that it's between grownups who really like each other/dating/married/whatever. And depending on the kid, I'd probably say where someone was getting kissed. |
Anonymous
I like this answer. Although I'd probably add that it's between grownups who really like each other/dating/married/whatever. And depending on the kid, I'd probably say where someone was getting kissed. That's not bad, but I'm already basically lying when I saw it is between two people who like each other a lot. Because kids nowadays apaprently are giving blow jobs to random strangers in the middle school bathroom (or so it seems from reading the papers). Fortunately once I got to the word "kiss" my son would run away and not ask me anything again! |
Anonymous
Really? You're gonna say that that the baby is born after the parents get married? And what are they gonna say to little Molly at school who has a single mom? I think this is dangerous territory. You can say that a man a a woman get together and a baby comes from them, but your reply seems overly simplified for a 6 year old. You may be reflecting your past and going to the oposite direction and I don't think that's the wise thing to do. A full conversation for a 7 year old may be too much, but they are way smarter than you're giving them credit for. |
Anonymous
| *opposite*, sorry. |
Anonymous
That's not bad, but I'm already basically lying when I saw it is between two people who like each other a lot. Because kids nowadays apaprently are giving blow jobs to random strangers in the middle school bathroom (or so it seems from reading the papers). Fortunately once I got to the word "kiss" my son would run away and not ask me anything again! True, but that's why I add grown-ups to the description. At least it states our family's values. Kids shouldn't be doing it. I want my son to be in a committed, loving relationship before having sex. He shouldn't be having hook-ups. And so on. Now, whether that will actually work or not? No clue. Here's hoping. |
Anonymous
| The Talk should be given gradually starting from age 3. I am educating DD about her body parts and how they work. She knows what my period is and that she will have one too. She knows that private parts can only be touched by doctors and should not be shown. I told her that a mother and father hold each other closely when they want to make a baby but by the time she is 6 she will know the truth. She has got to know what is on the line as soon as she can handle and exactly how wrong any sexual touching is. |
Anonymous
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Let him find out from his friends, just like we did.
Just joking, I don't really have a valid response -- sorry for being an ass. |
Anonymous
| OP here - thanks for all the responses. I will look for an age appropriate book so the next time he asks (and he will) I can address it then. I did let him know his question was valid (when he asked yesterday) which is why I promised to tell him what he wanted to know when he turned 7 so I think he is not going to be uncomfortable asking again. He is extremely smart and we often forget how young he is which is why I was waffling on what to say. |
Anonymous
My sister teaches 4 year olds and she had a student ask her this. They are not allowed to answer that sort of question (thankfully) so she just told him "that's a good question but that's something you need to ask your mommy or daddy". She then overheard him musing about it. He concluded that babies were like food "like a banana baby, a bread baby...". But then he wondered how they didn't get eaten. lol. |