Christian working mom struggling with church on weekends

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hear you OP. What helped me was (1) a later service time - none of that 9 am nonsense and (2) remembering that I was by doing it just for now - I wanted my kids to have a relationship with God/church so the routine was important for that.

Also - if you switch to three weeks a month until your kids are older or you’re more used to working, I am sure God will understand.

No, he definitely won’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with you too. 8am service is basically dh and I nagging our kids and then screaming in the morning to get there. 11am means the day is half gone by the time we get out. I feel like we can’t win.

I’d love a weekday night church.

I left religion for MANY reasons but this is one tiny reason right here - I hate Sundays growing up and how stressed out and shouting my parents to would be about getting to church.

[Anonymous]

So I am not trying to come at this from a place of judgement and I hope that will be apparent.

I grew up in a family that took Hebrews 10:24-25 really seriously:

And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.

(ESV)

I was taught that "meet together" was referring to being in an environment where you got the sacraments (baptism and communion if you're Protestant, all 7 I guess if you're Catholic but I'm non-Catholic so fuzzier there), heard God's Word preached, prayed with other Christians, and basically did what church does.

I also grew up learning that Sunday was a continuation of the Old Testament Sabbath, but moved to Sunday and changed somewhat by Christ's resurrection on that day.

So church was basically the anchor of the week. Everything else could go, but the Bible said go to church so we had do to that as long as we were well enough.

Honestly? Having that as a rock in the week felt freeing. So with my own family we've done the same. With little kids it was a major, massive pain at times. When we had babies we usually showed up at church only for one of us to sit in the room for families with babies - but we made the habit. We have walked kids in and out of services (for the part they were supposed to be sitting there) to keep them from being disruptive more times than I can count.

Now that my kids are a little bit older, but admittedly not yet so old that I'm wrangling recalcitrant teens, it's easier. But also it's what we do. There's not that temptation to say "we're not doing it this week."

And once we're all there? Relaxing into the liturgy (we're in a liturgical church) and hearing the whole congregation around me worshipping together might be the most restful thing I do all week. The sermons are challenging, but inspirational. Seeing that this thing - believing in Jesus - has been enough for the late 80-something who comes in to church in a wheelchair or the 60 somethings lifting their hands during singing reminds me that it's going to be enough for me too. Once we're there, now that we've made the habit, it really is the rock of my week.

So PP, if you think church is valuable or read Scripture the way I was taught, just decide it's what you do. Decide you aren't missing it unless being there would get everyone around you sick. And see if it isn't worth it.

But as said above, if you read the Bible differently or decide differently, that's 100% not for me to judge.

[Anonymous]

Maybe go by yourself 2/4 or 3/4 Sundays a month and leave your husband home to deal with the kids those weeks.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry OP. I understand the struggle.

In NOVA there are non-Catholic churches with Saturday eve services. I don't know about where you are though.

Sounds like your DH is not pulling his weight. I might go by myself and let him keep the kids home some weekends.

[Anonymous]

Give yourself some grace, and allow yourself to miss once a month or so.

I was head usher at my church and had to be there every Sunday for two years and it burned me out so badly that I quit church altogether. I haven't found a new church in large part because I had so desperately needed that weekend time once in a while for so long, that I have kept the Sundays for myself for over a year now. You probably don't want that to happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would finding an evening church help?

I agree though, it became a major chore to get to at one point, and there was a good decade we didn’t go because Sunday mornings were more valuable at home.

Yes, we are in Central VA and I would give absolutely anything for a weekday evening church, or even Saturday evening. But we are not Catholic.

So? God is non-denominational. Go to what works.

But churches are not.

[Anonymous]

I am a church-goer and DH is not. What worked for many years is that DH dropped us all off at Sunday School and then did all of the grocery shopping for the week at a nearby grocery store before picking us back up. We did not attend the service.

[Anonymous]

If it is an option for your church, I suggest Sat evenings.

I love having Sunday mornings as a sleep-in/slow to start day. My family does too!

[Anonymous]

We made an event of the morning by going out to brunch after Mass. Nothing fancy - just a diner - but it was a time to sit and talk as a family. Then some of us would run errands and others went home or to other activities. Sunday was also a simple light dinner.

Also, keep it lowkey without fancy dress. Clean and neat is good enough.

[Anonymous]

OP, I just want you to know you aren’t alone. I have to get two toddlers out the door solo every Sunday. I treat it just like a school day—pick out clothes the day before, have breakfast ready, special snack for the car, etc. It’s never easy no matter how much I prep and some weeks I think I won’t make it. And I take a Sunday off every so often!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I just want you to know you aren’t alone. I have to get two toddlers out the door solo every Sunday. I treat it just like a school day—pick out clothes the day before, have breakfast ready, special snack for the car, etc. It’s never easy no matter how much I prep and some weeks I think I won’t make it. And I take a Sunday off every so often!

Why bother? What does this performance do for you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I just want you to know you aren’t alone. I have to get two toddlers out the door solo every Sunday. I treat it just like a school day—pick out clothes the day before, have breakfast ready, special snack for the car, etc. It’s never easy no matter how much I prep and some weeks I think I won’t make it. And I take a Sunday off every so often!

Why bother? What does this performance do for you?

DP and

[Anonymous]

Can you go to other regular church events that are maybe at a more convenient time? Sunday school/bible study or the Wednesday night potlucks that lots of churches have. The church community is so important but there’s no requirement you have to attend Sunday morning services in order to be an active part of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I just want you to know you aren’t alone. I have to get two toddlers out the door solo every Sunday. I treat it just like a school day—pick out clothes the day before, have breakfast ready, special snack for the car, etc. It’s never easy no matter how much I prep and some weeks I think I won’t make it. And I take a Sunday off every so often!

Why bother? What does this performance do for you?

It gets me to church on time!