Single parent playdate cycle

[Anonymous]

Very kind and thank you for your considerate replies. -OP

[Anonymous]

We host all the time and almost no one reciprocates. My kid has a lot of friends whose parents don’t speak English as a first language. I know a number of them are in apartments so they may have space considerations. I would try to accept every invitation you can for drop off play dates. And then when you reciprocate, invite like three at a time. They are unlikely to all say yes (but they might!) and you essentially get “credit” for inviting. And if you never host, that is ok too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks all from OP. I do see value in forging some more meaningful friendships, or at least going from fellow parent acquaintance to more elevated connection. I have a few single mom friends from the school group and we do more together generally.

I think posing it to my kid about being ok with a drop off would be a good idea. And limiting to one playdate per month at a house (we do meet people at the park almost every weekend).

I unfortunately do have to work a lot of hours. I’m contract and it’s not at a professional compensation that would let me work fewer hours. It’s not sustainable (I am exhausted and have been doing this for more than a year) but is what I have to do for now until I can get better work. As for what my child does when I work on weekends, I work when she is at activities and while she eats lunch and has screen time and has quiet time in her room. And I work from after she goes to bed until 11pm each night).

OP if I knew you I’d 100 be happy to host your kiddo every weekend for playdates. My kid is an only and needs company. It would be win-win as far as I’m concerned to have my kid occupied happily in my house while you get some time to yourself in your house.

I'm married w/ two kids but also almost always happy to have extra kids over. And in return other families are happy to bring my kid home from an activity if I need to be somewhere else or whatever. OP, don't worry about the single aspect--where I live, it's moms coordinating kid stuff more often than not, and while it might (understandably) sting to be around two-parent households, no one cares and the single moms in my circle are not left out.

[Anonymous]

She's an only and it's important she make friends. I'd try to do at least two playdates a month. I also think unless she is really into those activities, time for play dates might be more important.

And you can reciprocate by offering to take her and her friend to the park, etc.

[Anonymous]

You are not really a single parent. Did your spouse die?

[Anonymous]

Get your kid used to drop-off play-dates. We were doing them even in preschool. So much easier. And say yes to play date invites. It is ok to reciprocate when you can. It does not have to be perfectly even.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are not really a single parent. Did your spouse die?

I have sole custody and my child’s father lives in a different country and has no contact with my child. I am a single parent. And what a considerate response from you, especially on a special considerations parenting board.

[Anonymous]

OP with an update. We hosted a play date with one friend and one parent last weekend which my child really enjoyed. Then we were invited the other day for a play date with a different family at their home this weekend and are going to that later today. I am trying to be more open with this because I know my kiddo does really enjoy the more one on one play.

I am lucky that she is friendly and makes friends very easily. The play dates aren’t “needed “because she is lucky to have lots of friends at school, at afterschool care, and at her weekend activities. But I see the value in forming some closer friendships so am giving it the college try.

I’m also considering doing a group play date at my home with three or four kids next month. Just to cross it off the list, so to speak. I know it will be a lot, but hoping it buys a little time and “credit.”

I had a talk with my kiddo about doing more play dates, but not every week, and not with a ton of kids and she is on board. Will work on drop off along the way.