Taking a break from spouse and marriage

[Anonymous]

One of your should take a job that requires extensive business travel, like two week international trips. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Someone was posting yesterday about how her father was married for decades until her mother died and then a few years later reconnected with someone he knew from childhood and got married... the new spouse lives in Wisconsin, the father here, and they get together a few times a year.

Honestly, that sounds kinda dope. She was all outraged about it.

Wow, you did not read that post closely at ALL. The OP wasn't outraged. The wife wanted to give a speech at the dad's birthday party and OP was asking for advice about that party. OP came across as baffled by the long-distance marriage thing, but "outrage" wasn't part of the post. Maybe you're projecting about something in your own life where you'd prefer a long distance marriage, which is fine if you want it, but wasn't the point of that other OP's post.

[Anonymous]

I knew of an older couple that went through a period where every summer she went to the lakehouse and lived there, while he lived at home (they were both retired or nearly at this point, kids were grown, it was about separation, not about him not being able to get away). They did this for many years. I think one year she stayed the whole year round at the lakehouse. It seemed to their friends they would eventually divorce, but then they came back together eventually till he died.

[Anonymous]

My husband doesn’t like cruises and I do so once a year I go on a Crystal cruise for solo travelers. I don’t take advantage of the many opportunities to take a real “break” from my marriage but it is fun to play being single. There are plenty of married people traveling solo and as a people watcher it’s entertaining to watch people connect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband doesn’t like cruises and I do so once a year I go on a Crystal cruise for solo travelers. I don’t take advantage of the many opportunities to take a real “break” from my marriage but it is fun to play being single. There are plenty of married people traveling solo and as a people watcher it’s entertaining to watch people connect.

Do you cheat on him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Someone was posting yesterday about how her father was married for decades until her mother died and then a few years later reconnected with someone he knew from childhood and got married... the new spouse lives in Wisconsin, the father here, and they get together a few times a year.

Honestly, that sounds kinda dope. She was all outraged about it.

Wow, you did not read that post closely at ALL. The OP wasn't outraged. The wife wanted to give a speech at the dad's birthday party and OP was asking for advice about that party. OP came across as baffled by the long-distance marriage thing, but "outrage" wasn't part of the post. Maybe you're projecting about something in your own life where you'd prefer a long distance marriage, which is fine if you want it, but wasn't the point of that other OP's post.

Well... maybe she wasn't outraged, but she was very upset and emotional and wanted to try to prevent her step-mother from speaking about her interesting relationship with her beloved husband. So... definitely off-kilter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you think your marriage would benefit from a break if your spouse was on board with it?

I don't mean that either gets a pass to go wild and be eith others but just giving each other space to grow as an individual outside of your relationship.

No.

[Anonymous]

OP is probably being urged to “self-actualize” by a therapist.

Therapists are scourges on society.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband doesn’t like cruises and I do so once a year I go on a Crystal cruise for solo travelers. I don’t take advantage of the many opportunities to take a real “break” from my marriage but it is fun to play being single. There are plenty of married people traveling solo and as a people watcher it’s entertaining to watch people connect.

Do you cheat on him?

No, despite plenty of opportunities given the social aspect of these cruises. If my marriage wasn’t happy I’m sure I’d have a different answer.

[Anonymous]

I am growing as an individual within my marriage. I got my master's degree while married; I work and do things I like.
I don't understand marriages where spouses must always be together, never travel alone, and never have a thought of their own.
Something like that sounds like a life sentence and not a marriage.
DH has many interests of his own; we also have combined interests.
Spouses should encourage their spouses to enjoy things they enjoy, pursue activities that they like, and grow as a person that they individually want to be.
If you are not married to that kind of spouse, you might be married to a jailer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am growing as an individual within my marriage. I got my master's degree while married; I work and do things I like.
I don't understand marriages where spouses must always be together, never travel alone, and never have a thought of their own.
Something like that sounds like a life sentence and not a marriage.
DH has many interests of his own; we also have combined interests.
Spouses should encourage their spouses to enjoy things they enjoy, pursue activities that they like, and grow as a person that they individually want to be.
If you are not married to that kind of spouse, you might be married to a jailer.

Agree! We are very independent but devoted to each other. Two weeks ago I went on golf trip with GFs and I had so much fun and he was happy I did it. He is incredibly supportive of a hobby I have that he really couldn’t care less about but he knows I love it.