Planning beach trip and encountering difficulty

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t continue with this. It will only get worse. Trust me. Btdt

Not if you get this under control. I love the beach with grandparents but it's always been on my terms. We pick the house (we pay) and narrow down dates/pick the dates. Then invite them. My inlaws turned out not to be compatible at the beach so we did it with them once. My parents are wonderful at the beach and we do it every year. Inlaws prefer to be busier on vacation and though they've brought up going again, I have no interest. It's my precious vacation time. We've done Disney and non beach vacations with inlaws (NYC, cruise, London) and that's much better. Bottom line- you're in charge of your vacation. Have the vacation you want and deserve.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you vacation with someone then you have to take everyone's viewpoints into account or at least acknowledge what the other side is saying. Even if there is no middle ground and your plan is objectively better, you still have to "sell it to them".

OP is dismissive over every single choice of theirs, including the fact that they're not entirely comfortable with OP paying for everything, and would maybe prefer a little less house (and at least some say in things).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're approaching it wrong. Just say "Mom, we've rented a house in ____ location from August 2-5. Would you and Dad like to come visit us there?"

When you're paying you decide where. The only exception is if they're physically handicapped you need to make sure there are ramps, elevators, rails in the bathroom next to the toilet and in the shower, etc.

This is what I would do

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you vacation with someone then you have to take everyone's viewpoints into account or at least acknowledge what the other side is saying. Even if there is no middle ground and your plan is objectively better, you still have to "sell it to them".

OP is dismissive over every single choice of theirs, including the fact that they're not entirely comfortable with OP paying for everything, and would maybe prefer a little less house (and at least some say in things).

Nothing the OP is asking for sounds unreasonable. Why do the grandparents get to impose their miserly ways on the new parents?

[Anonymous]

In the future you just book what you want. Then invite them. “Hey we’ve got an extra bedroom , want to come visit?”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Mom, we decided to make this a vacation with immediate family and booked ourselves a house for the week. You are invited to come stay with us from Wed through Saturday."

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're approaching it wrong. Just say "Mom, we've rented a house in ____ location from August 2-5. Would you and Dad like to come visit us there?"

When you're paying you decide where. The only exception is if they're physically handicapped you need to make sure there are ramps, elevators, rails in the bathroom next to the toilet and in the shower, etc.

I came to post something similar. You rent the house (don't get their opinion) and invite them for a four-day stretch. They can come or not as they choose. In your invitation, you could share a link to the house if you want, or you can just share the address.

[Anonymous]

I’d just say that here our our plans and we’d love for you to join us.

[Anonymous]

Or at this point I would just drop it and eventually the summer will have passed

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're approaching it wrong. Just say "Mom, we've rented a house in ____ location from August 2-5. Would you and Dad like to come visit us there?"

When you're paying you decide where. The only exception is if they're physically handicapped you need to make sure there are ramps, elevators, rails in the bathroom next to the toilet and in the shower, etc.

+1. This is the way to handle it. You pay, invite and host them. You are in charge. If that makes your mother uncomfortable, then she can decline.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're approaching it wrong. Just say "Mom, we've rented a house in ____ location from August 2-5. Would you and Dad like to come visit us there?"

When you're paying you decide where. The only exception is if they're physically handicapped you need to make sure there are ramps, elevators, rails in the bathroom next to the toilet and in the shower, etc.

This X10000!

Boomer vacations are horrible! They will make sure that they are comfortable in the largest bedroom and full bath. Your family will be on a pull out sofa in front of the kitchen area where you will be woken up by them making breakfast at 5 am. When you groggily open your eyes you will be pounced on. You will be admonished for making any noise past 8:30 pm even though they have a door to close.

You will eat spice free, high carb and high fat food at every meal . You will be forced to chat all day. These chats will be about nothing all to the back drop of FOX news.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're approaching it wrong. Just say "Mom, we've rented a house in ____ location from August 2-5. Would you and Dad like to come visit us there?"

When you're paying you decide where. The only exception is if they're physically handicapped you need to make sure there are ramps, elevators, rails in the bathroom next to the toilet and in the shower, etc.

This X10000!

Boomer vacations are horrible! They will make sure that they are comfortable in the largest bedroom and full bath. Your family will be on a pull out sofa in front of the kitchen area where you will be woken up by them making breakfast at 5 am. When you groggily open your eyes you will be pounced on. You will be admonished for making any noise past 8:30 pm even though they have a door to close.

You will eat spice free, high carb and high fat food at every meal . You will be forced to chat all day. These chats will be about nothing all to the back drop of FOX news.

Hysterical. But so true! You’ve just described every beach vacation I’ve had w/my boomer parents.

[Anonymous]

As someone who could have written this 12 years ago (right down to the golden child brother) do yourself a favor and tread lightly. We are now 12 years in on the little tradition and every year provides enough drama to last me a lifetime. It starts with the house but it’ll meals, restaurants, timing of the beach and on and on. Trust your husbands instincts- we do a week and it is too long.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're approaching it wrong. Just say "Mom, we've rented a house in ____ location from August 2-5. Would you and Dad like to come visit us there?"

When you're paying you decide where. The only exception is if they're physically handicapped you need to make sure there are ramps, elevators, rails in the bathroom next to the toilet and in the shower, etc.

This X10000!

Boomer vacations are horrible! They will make sure that they are comfortable in the largest bedroom and full bath. Your family will be on a pull out sofa in front of the kitchen area where you will be woken up by them making breakfast at 5 am. When you groggily open your eyes you will be pounced on. You will be admonished for making any noise past 8:30 pm even though they have a door to close.

You will eat spice free, high carb and high fat food at every meal . You will be forced to chat all day. These chats will be about nothing all to the back drop of FOX news.

Hysterical. But so true! You’ve just described every beach vacation I’ve had w/my boomer parents.

1,000% I’m PP- OP listen to this wise person! 🤣

[Anonymous]

Everyone needs to stop planning misery vacations with their parents or in laws!

Just go somewhere actually nice with your husband and baby. Go to the Ritz Naples and then you won’t need to cook or haul beach chairs around or lift a finger.