What neighborhood should I move my boys to?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not MoCo, if you have a choice. I would say McLean VA.

MCPS doesn't do much at all for ASD kids that need fewer supports. Gen ed class and expect to need a private educational advocate to get any services (as well as private evaluations, MoCo has very lax standards as to what qualifies as a need) and also to supplement privately.

If you do decide to do MCPS pick smaller elementary schools, the difference in the same MS/HS pyramid can be ES with 16 kids per class vs ES with 25 kids per class.

Agreed- my ASD kid went to Chesterbrook (five years ago at this point) and had a good experience there.

+2

[Anonymous]

I'm an Asian expat living in downtown Bethesda. It's an affluent and liberal part of Montgomery County. I moved here because I wanted my high-functioning ASD and ADHD kid to have the best school experience on a budget: ie, it was worth my while paying more for housing to get the special education services and accommodations of a school cluster that knows how to deal with such kids. I looked at privates, of course, because "technically" I can afford them. But you always end up needing to pay for extra tutoring or social skills group outside of school anyway, so a good public seems less wasteful to me, to save for college. My son goes to an 85K a year private uni. For reference, UMD is 30K a year, in-state. Financial considerations are important.

He went to Bethesda Elementary first, since it has a great reputation for understanding children with special needs of all types (the Principal Ms. Seymour is no-nonsense but she's the driving force behind that commitment); then was accepted into the gifted and talented, learning disabled (GT/LD) program of the neighboring school cluster at North Bethesda Middle and Walter Johnson High Schools. The cluster also has an autism program, but your kids might not need that. Both the Bethesda-Chevy Chase and Walter Johnson clusters have a great reputation for academics and are appropriate for the services and accommodations you might be looking for. My son had very effective schooling: his hard work, the school accommodations and understanding IEP teams, and my parenting efforts, helped him get into a good college (meds for ADHD helped as well!).

Precious few people in Montgomery County will care that you're a lesbian, OP, even in the exurbs. My neighbors and the parents are school are welcoming of all people and lifestyles. Downtown Bethesda, and indeed many parts of MoCo, has a lot of international diversity. DCUM gets stuck on "most people look pale in Bethesda and Chevy Chase" and entirely bypasses the fact that people come from all over the world, with many cultural, religious and language differences. My kids' friends are from Asia, the middle East and Eastern Europe. Some of them have ADHD and/or high-functioning autism like my son. It's the fashion nowadays at the middle and high school level to try on sexual identities like a new pair of jeans. Most of these kids will probably end up in straight relationship as adults, but I am pointing this out to explain the mindset here. My youngest at Westland Middle school (BCC cluster) was assigned International Baccalaureate summer reading and every time the school chose novels about a non-binary kid or a school bullying/restorative justice event. Just to let you in on the vibe.

If that part of MoCo is not in your budget, then I've also heard good things from the Rockville and Poolesville clusters. Whitman and Churchill clusters (west Bethesda and Potomac, respectively) have excellent schools, but are as expensive as Bethesda/Chevy Chase.

My kids are now young adults and teens, and over the course of their childhood I've talked to a lot of parents from DC, MD and VA, with kids in public and private. I think that MCPS generally has the most to offer, in terms of gifted and special needs programming, as well as number of courses at the high school level... but your individual experience at an individual school will vary. It will be more satisfactory if you are prepared, know what your kids need and what the school can realistically offer.

And welcome to the area

[Anonymous]

Looking at older threads - it looks like the Elementary Autism Connections program is at College Gardens Elementary School next year: https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/15/1203667.page

And the elementary GTLD program is at Lucy Barnsley (though I've heard it was really bare bones last year and essentially dissolved.) https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/15/1125704.page#24778316

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Agree re: Takoma Park for an existing community of friendly LGBTQ+ families. There are also good ASD supports at Seaton and Garrison elementary schools in the Logan Circle/Shaw neighborhoods of NW DC, and those schools are also diverse with several Asian families and families with single and queer parents. NB: they are harder to lottery into without living in-boundary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a single, lesbian mom moving to the DMV soon with my wonderful young boys (3 and 5). Both have ASD diagnoses but fall on the less-supports-needed part of the spectrum. We are Asian.

With all that in mind, if you were me and were prioritizing schools, specifically where would you live? I’m looking for advice on specific schools/neighborhoods, as opposed to something general like “MoCo.”

Thank you!

You are going to find lots of queer families throughout the DMV, this post is about communities in central Silver Spring, Montgomery County. I think our neighborhood in Silver Spring is a gem (New Hampshire Estates/Oakview schools). Both schools are very well run and handle the diversity of all students very well. There is an active gay-borhood. New Hampshire Estates does have a Special Ed pre-school if your son qualifies. The Asian population is low in this area but not non-existent.

Nearby are Highland View and Montgomery Knolls/Crestview school neighborhoods. These are more expensive as far as housing and more "white," but still have lots of queer families and a similar vibe and stillness expensive than Takoma Park. Rolling Terrance has a whole school Spanish emersion program and a nice mix of families, but you would need to decide if language emersion is the best option for your kids.

Asian communities tend to be around Rockville and Wheaton, but I cannot speak to specific schools or neighborhoods.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Try Boston suburbs.

Hell no. Super racist

[Anonymous]

+1 got king farm/college gardens. If you don’t have an IEP, I recommend working with an advocate to push for one now. As a new student, MCPS would need to start on this now

[Anonymous]

Tilden MS (N Bethesda) and Walter Johnson HS (Bethesda) have Autism Connections for what used to be called Asperger's. Many of their neighborhoods tend to be accepting of lgbtq families as well.

[Anonymous]

In terms of schools for your sons, it doesn't matter what neighborhood. Moco will send your boys to the school that has the program for them no matter where you live.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a single, lesbian mom moving to the DMV soon with my wonderful young boys (3 and 5). Both have ASD diagnoses but fall on the less-supports-needed part of the spectrum. We are Asian.

With all that in mind, if you were me and were prioritizing schools, specifically where would you live? I’m looking for advice on specific schools/neighborhoods, as opposed to something general like “MoCo.”

Thank you!

You are going to find lots of queer families throughout the DMV, this post is about communities in central Silver Spring, Montgomery County. I think our neighborhood in Silver Spring is a gem (New Hampshire Estates/Oakview schools). Both schools are very well run and handle the diversity of all students very well. There is an active gay-borhood. New Hampshire Estates does have a Special Ed pre-school if your son qualifies. The Asian population is low in this area but not non-existent.

Nearby are Highland View and Montgomery Knolls/Crestview school neighborhoods. These are more expensive as far as housing and more "white," but still have lots of queer families and a similar vibe and stillness expensive than Takoma Park. Rolling Terrance has a whole school Spanish emersion program and a nice mix of families, but you would need to decide if language emersion is the best option for your kids.

Asian communities tend to be around Rockville and Wheaton, but I cannot speak to specific schools or neighborhoods.

If you are including further out in Fairfax County and Loudoun as being part of DMV, which most people do, this first statement doesn’t really hold up.

I agree with the Tacoma Park and Bethesda recommendations. I also wonder what others would say about Arlington’s services for kids with ASD who don’t require self-contained settings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a single, lesbian mom moving to the DMV soon with my wonderful young boys (3 and 5). Both have ASD diagnoses but fall on the less-supports-needed part of the spectrum. We are Asian.

With all that in mind, if you were me and were prioritizing schools, specifically where would you live? I’m looking for advice on specific schools/neighborhoods, as opposed to something general like “MoCo.”

Thank you!

Super liberal all over here. nW DC or bethesda fine and good for children.
Rockville area has lively Asian communities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In terms of schools for your sons, it doesn't matter what neighborhood. Moco will send your boys to the school that has the program for them no matter where you live.

While that is theoretically true, it is difficult these days to get MCPS staff to pay attention to kids who have special needs who are not failing academically or causing major behavioral problems. OP could make it easier for a principal to accommodate their request by already living in the catchment area for the programs she thinks would be best for her kids.

[Anonymous]

OP here with some missing facts:

- yes, the oldest has an IEP and I’ll work on getting one for myself younger son.
- my income is around $200K pre-child support and I really don’t know how that’s going to look at this point.
- I have some savings, so I’m thinking around $800-$900K+ might be workable. But I may rent first if I can find a good situation? I’d hate to purchase a too-expensive home and limit what I can do for my boys in terms of services/activites/tutoring/etc.
- my boys are Asian, but I am Caucasian. I’d love for my boys to have classmates that look like them.
- By far my first priority is schools/services, with a distant second being LGBTQ-friendly places… we’ll settle for whatever Asian community we can get if the first two are in place!
- with my salary/finances, public schools make the most sense. So maybe I’ll just need to do more expensive housing to get the best supports at school.

Thanks so much to all of you!! I am feeling overwhelmed and you have all helped so much already.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here with some missing facts:

- yes, the oldest has an IEP and I’ll work on getting one for myself younger son.
- my income is around $200K pre-child support and I really don’t know how that’s going to look at this point.
- I have some savings, so I’m thinking around $800-$900K+ might be workable. But I may rent first if I can find a good situation? I’d hate to purchase a too-expensive home and limit what I can do for my boys in terms of services/activites/tutoring/etc.
- my boys are Asian, but I am Caucasian. I’d love for my boys to have classmates that look like them.
- By far my first priority is schools/services, with a distant second being LGBTQ-friendly places… we’ll settle for whatever Asian community we can get if the first two are in place!
- with my salary/finances, public schools make the most sense. So maybe I’ll just need to do more expensive housing to get the best supports at school.

Thanks so much to all of you!! I am feeling overwhelmed and you have all helped so much already.

I suggest renting in the King Farm neighborhood. THere's nice townhomes, it's a great community and the schools are strong. Lots of Asians. Contact MCPS now to get things moving

[Anonymous]

I’m also a lesbian mom with relatively low support need autistic 3yo son. We live in Columbia Heights and love it (though wouldn’t necessarily recommend). Just wanted to add that we got a placement through his IEP at School Without Walls @ Francis Stevens and he has been doing so well and we are really happy - it’s a 10:6 classroom with 10 “regular” kids and 6 special needs kids. The school is moving back to its per any campus in the West End next year after renovations, which won’t be very convenient for us but we’re very happy to keep him there. All of this is to say that your sons may qualify for placements at certain schools independent of where you live.