How to structure nanny’s day with kids in school FT

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has she been in this role before and is she a self-starter?

If the answer is no, you may have to help her with this transition.

Stuff she can do:
- any kid related research. Research camps, extracurriculars, reading programs, whatever.
- organize kids rooms, closets, seasonal wear, playroom, etc.
- handle all the stuff kids need for school, stay on top of permission slips, school supplies, spirit week, pep rallies, etc.
- handle all seasonal stuff, like shopping for halloween costumes, etc.
- grocery shopping, meal planning for the week, possibly meal prep
- all kid laundry
- all kid-related errands, including stuff like Amazon returns
- all kid clothes shopping

If you want a personal assistant instead of a nanny you should hire one.

Sounds like an entitled DCUM nanny is on this thread. They think they should be paid full salary to do nothing and relax all day while kids are in school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has she been in this role before and is she a self-starter?

If the answer is no, you may have to help her with this transition.

Stuff she can do:
- any kid related research. Research camps, extracurriculars, reading programs, whatever.
- organize kids rooms, closets, seasonal wear, playroom, etc.
- handle all the stuff kids need for school, stay on top of permission slips, school supplies, spirit week, pep rallies, etc.
- handle all seasonal stuff, like shopping for halloween costumes, etc.
- grocery shopping, meal planning for the week, possibly meal prep
- all kid laundry
- all kid-related errands, including stuff like Amazon returns
- all kid clothes shopping

If you want a personal assistant instead of a nanny you should hire one.

Sounds like an entitled DCUM nanny is on this thread. They think they should be paid full salary to do nothing and relax all day while kids are in school.

I mean, OP doesn’t really need a nanny. Nannies look after kids. Not all that other junk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has she been in this role before and is she a self-starter?

If the answer is no, you may have to help her with this transition.

Stuff she can do:
- any kid related research. Research camps, extracurriculars, reading programs, whatever.
- organize kids rooms, closets, seasonal wear, playroom, etc.
- handle all the stuff kids need for school, stay on top of permission slips, school supplies, spirit week, pep rallies, etc.
- handle all seasonal stuff, like shopping for halloween costumes, etc.
- grocery shopping, meal planning for the week, possibly meal prep
- all kid laundry
- all kid-related errands, including stuff like Amazon returns
- all kid clothes shopping

If you want a personal assistant instead of a nanny you should hire one.

Sounds like an entitled DCUM nanny is on this thread. They think they should be paid full salary to do nothing and relax all day while kids are in school.

OP is the one that wants to keep a nanny. A nanny’s job is taking care of the children, not doing your grocery shopping and organizing your closets. If you don’t need someone to take care of the children then part ways so they can get the job they want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has she been in this role before and is she a self-starter?

If the answer is no, you may have to help her with this transition.

Stuff she can do:
- any kid related research. Research camps, extracurriculars, reading programs, whatever.
- organize kids rooms, closets, seasonal wear, playroom, etc.
- handle all the stuff kids need for school, stay on top of permission slips, school supplies, spirit week, pep rallies, etc.
- handle all seasonal stuff, like shopping for halloween costumes, etc.
- grocery shopping, meal planning for the week, possibly meal prep
- all kid laundry
- all kid-related errands, including stuff like Amazon returns
- all kid clothes shopping

You want her to be the mother?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has she been in this role before and is she a self-starter?

If the answer is no, you may have to help her with this transition.

Stuff she can do:
- any kid related research. Research camps, extracurriculars, reading programs, whatever.
- organize kids rooms, closets, seasonal wear, playroom, etc.
- handle all the stuff kids need for school, stay on top of permission slips, school supplies, spirit week, pep rallies, etc.
- handle all seasonal stuff, like shopping for halloween costumes, etc.
- grocery shopping, meal planning for the week, possibly meal prep
- all kid laundry
- all kid-related errands, including stuff like Amazon returns
- all kid clothes shopping

If you want a personal assistant instead of a nanny you should hire one.

Sounds like an entitled DCUM nanny is on this thread. They think they should be paid full salary to do nothing and relax all day while kids are in school.

OP is the one that wants to keep a nanny. A nanny’s job is taking care of the children, not doing your grocery shopping and organizing your closets. If you don’t need someone to take care of the children then part ways so they can get the job they want.

So much projection in your response. I’m sure OP and the nanny can mutually determine the best arrangement for them.

OP asked for ideas. You apparently have none. Not sure why you’re here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has she been in this role before and is she a self-starter?

If the answer is no, you may have to help her with this transition.

Stuff she can do:
- any kid related research. Research camps, extracurriculars, reading programs, whatever.
- organize kids rooms, closets, seasonal wear, playroom, etc.
- handle all the stuff kids need for school, stay on top of permission slips, school supplies, spirit week, pep rallies, etc.
- handle all seasonal stuff, like shopping for halloween costumes, etc.
- grocery shopping, meal planning for the week, possibly meal prep
- all kid laundry
- all kid-related errands, including stuff like Amazon returns
- all kid clothes shopping

You want her to be the mother?

Wait 5 years and she’ll be the new step mother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has she been in this role before and is she a self-starter?

If the answer is no, you may have to help her with this transition.

Stuff she can do:
- any kid related research. Research camps, extracurriculars, reading programs, whatever.
- organize kids rooms, closets, seasonal wear, playroom, etc.
- handle all the stuff kids need for school, stay on top of permission slips, school supplies, spirit week, pep rallies, etc.
- handle all seasonal stuff, like shopping for halloween costumes, etc.
- grocery shopping, meal planning for the week, possibly meal prep
- all kid laundry
- all kid-related errands, including stuff like Amazon returns
- all kid clothes shopping

You want her to be the mother?

Wait 5 years and she’ll be the new step mother.

I don’t think so.
That’s why we hire overweight older women as our nannies, silly!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has she been in this role before and is she a self-starter?

If the answer is no, you may have to help her with this transition.

Stuff she can do:
- any kid related research. Research camps, extracurriculars, reading programs, whatever.
- organize kids rooms, closets, seasonal wear, playroom, etc.
- handle all the stuff kids need for school, stay on top of permission slips, school supplies, spirit week, pep rallies, etc.
- handle all seasonal stuff, like shopping for halloween costumes, etc.
- grocery shopping, meal planning for the week, possibly meal prep
- all kid laundry
- all kid-related errands, including stuff like Amazon returns
- all kid clothes shopping

You want her to be the mother?

Wait 5 years and she’ll be the new step mother.

I don’t think so.
That’s why we hire overweight older women as our nannies, silly!

You actually think your husband cares more about you being thin than being a good mother? Get real lady!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has she been in this role before and is she a self-starter?

If the answer is no, you may have to help her with this transition.

Stuff she can do:
- any kid related research. Research camps, extracurriculars, reading programs, whatever.
- organize kids rooms, closets, seasonal wear, playroom, etc.
- handle all the stuff kids need for school, stay on top of permission slips, school supplies, spirit week, pep rallies, etc.
- handle all seasonal stuff, like shopping for halloween costumes, etc.
- grocery shopping, meal planning for the week, possibly meal prep
- all kid laundry
- all kid-related errands, including stuff like Amazon returns
- all kid clothes shopping

If you want a personal assistant instead of a nanny you should hire one.

Sounds like an entitled DCUM nanny is on this thread. They think they should be paid full salary to do nothing and relax all day while kids are in school.

I mean, OP doesn’t really need a nanny. Nannies look after kids. Not all that other junk.

If nannies just look after kids, how are they different from babysitters?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has she been in this role before and is she a self-starter?

If the answer is no, you may have to help her with this transition.

Stuff she can do:
- any kid related research. Research camps, extracurriculars, reading programs, whatever.
- organize kids rooms, closets, seasonal wear, playroom, etc.
- handle all the stuff kids need for school, stay on top of permission slips, school supplies, spirit week, pep rallies, etc.
- handle all seasonal stuff, like shopping for halloween costumes, etc.
- grocery shopping, meal planning for the week, possibly meal prep
- all kid laundry
- all kid-related errands, including stuff like Amazon returns
- all kid clothes shopping

You want her to be the mother?

Wait 5 years and she’ll be the new step mother.

I don’t think so.
That’s why we hire overweight older women as our nannies, silly!

Many men want someone who has womanly curves as opposed to size 00 skinny @$$ stick mannequin

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has she been in this role before and is she a self-starter?

If the answer is no, you may have to help her with this transition.

Stuff she can do:
- any kid related research. Research camps, extracurriculars, reading programs, whatever.
- organize kids rooms, closets, seasonal wear, playroom, etc.
- handle all the stuff kids need for school, stay on top of permission slips, school supplies, spirit week, pep rallies, etc.
- handle all seasonal stuff, like shopping for halloween costumes, etc.
- grocery shopping, meal planning for the week, possibly meal prep
- all kid laundry
- all kid-related errands, including stuff like Amazon returns
- all kid clothes shopping

You want her to be the mother?

PP here. If you actually think those tasks are the sum of what a mother does, you (1) aren't a mother and (2) are in a rude awakening if you ever become a mother. I specifically suggested tasks that can be easily outsourced. In fact, these are the first types of things that a working mom SHOULD outsource, with no guilt. These tasks have basically nothing to do with being a good mom.

I specifically didn't list a myriad of tasks that working moms typically do. Stuff like:

- anything medical related. Selecting insurance, well child visits, specialists, dentists, orthodontics. Reviewing EOBs. Keeping up with vaccines. Many medical providers require a parent or guardian at the visits, not a nanny.
- anything academic. I've never heard of a nanny joining the PTA. Correspondence with the teacher. Reviewing homework, test scores. Assessing neurodivergence. Assessing the need for tutors.
- anything social. Hosting playdates. Getting to know the parents of friends. Planning birthday parties. Mediating disputes with friends.
- anything financial. Setting up and maintaining 529s, UTMA accounts, tax forms.
- anything emotional. Who do you think gets up with a vomiting at child at 2 AM?
- anything relating to holidays. Buying Xmas presents. Stuffing the stockings. Making Easter baskets. Etc. etc.

Basically moms are amazing. Nannies, also amazing, play an essential role in allowing moms to balance their families and their careers. But let's not act like you buying some fruit snacks at the grocery store means you're replacing mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has she been in this role before and is she a self-starter?

If the answer is no, you may have to help her with this transition.

Stuff she can do:
- any kid related research. Research camps, extracurriculars, reading programs, whatever.
- organize kids rooms, closets, seasonal wear, playroom, etc.
- handle all the stuff kids need for school, stay on top of permission slips, school supplies, spirit week, pep rallies, etc.
- handle all seasonal stuff, like shopping for halloween costumes, etc.
- grocery shopping, meal planning for the week, possibly meal prep
- all kid laundry
- all kid-related errands, including stuff like Amazon returns
- all kid clothes shopping

If you want a personal assistant instead of a nanny you should hire one.

Sounds like an entitled DCUM nanny is on this thread. They think they should be paid full salary to do nothing and relax all day while kids are in school.

OP is the one that wants to keep a nanny. A nanny’s job is taking care of the children, not doing your grocery shopping and organizing your closets. If you don’t need someone to take care of the children then part ways so they can get the job they want.

NP. Just stop with this BS. I've employed a FT nanny for 11 years. First stayed with us for 7.5 years until she moved to another state for personal reason. Second has given no indication that she's unhappy. Both have done household management work (groceries, meal prep, laundry, etc) since day one. We set these expectations in our job ad. Plenty of nannies are happy to do more than childcare.

[Anonymous]

Nanny here who has made this transition a few times. First, keep in mind that school is not even remotely adequate childcare. They attend school about 190 days. There are about 260 non-weekend days in a year. So assuming your kids are never sick and never have a snow day, she is already going to be doing full days with all the kids home for 60 days a year. My point is to remember that a big part of what you are paying for is the privilege of not having to obsess over finding camps and babysitters for all the school breaks during the year, having the freedom to enroll in no camps or half-day camps during summer, never stressing about whether you can manage to stay home with your kid who has a fever…THAT is the biggest service she provides but if you’ve never parented without that safety net you may be tempted to take it for granted.

That said, here is some of the stuff I do:

1) Manage everything for kids’ laundry, including rotating clothes seasonally and making sure everyone has the clothes and shoes and outerwear they need in the size they need. I also wash and remake kids’ sheets weekly and launder all the hand towels and kitchen towels.

2) Keeping all the staples in the house stocked (bringing toilet paper to all the bathrooms, making sure we have hand soap and dish soap and laundry detergent, etc.)

3) Prep all kids’ lunches/snacks for school/the drive home. Plan and prep family dinner 4 nights a week. Grocery shop for all the above.

4) Manage kids’ schedules, including researching activities/camps, making a spreadsheet of options and then enrolling them in whatever the parents select. I also stay on top of things like the unending spirit days, bring X to school for whatever holiday, and jump on signups for things like class parties or field trip chaperones or reading to the class. If the parents can’t make it to an event, I can always go and it can be really hard for them to stay on top of the 20 different kinds of communications the school/PTA/teacher/room parent sends each week to sign up before the slots are full.

5) I manage all the kids’ medical stuff. Obviously if there’s an issue the parents come to the appointments too, but for standard dentist checkups, flu shots, sports physicals, I do it so the parents don’t have to take time off of work.

I don’t do full housekeeper responsibilities, but I do also help fold parents, cleaned, laundry, keep the kitchen tidy between meals and vacuum regularly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Give her a list of what you want her to do each week, and let her accomplish it.

NO list or else she’d quit; she’s a nanny not a personal assistant, her hours are guaranteed if family wants to keep her great if not she can find something else

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nanny here who has made this transition a few times. First, keep in mind that school is not even remotely adequate childcare. They attend school about 190 days. There are about 260 non-weekend days in a year. So assuming your kids are never sick and never have a snow day, she is already going to be doing full days with all the kids home for 60 days a year. My point is to remember that a big part of what you are paying for is the privilege of not having to obsess over finding camps and babysitters for all the school breaks during the year, having the freedom to enroll in no camps or half-day camps during summer, never stressing about whether you can manage to stay home with your kid who has a fever…THAT is the biggest service she provides but if you’ve never parented without that safety net you may be tempted to take it for granted.

That said, here is some of the stuff I do:

1) Manage everything for kids’ laundry, including rotating clothes seasonally and making sure everyone has the clothes and shoes and outerwear they need in the size they need. I also wash and remake kids’ sheets weekly and launder all the hand towels and kitchen towels.

2) Keeping all the staples in the house stocked (bringing toilet paper to all the bathrooms, making sure we have hand soap and dish soap and laundry detergent, etc.)

3) Prep all kids’ lunches/snacks for school/the drive home. Plan and prep family dinner 4 nights a week. Grocery shop for all the above.

4) Manage kids’ schedules, including researching activities/camps, making a spreadsheet of options and then enrolling them in whatever the parents select. I also stay on top of things like the unending spirit days, bring X to school for whatever holiday, and jump on signups for things like class parties or field trip chaperones or reading to the class. If the parents can’t make it to an event, I can always go and it can be really hard for them to stay on top of the 20 different kinds of communications the school/PTA/teacher/room parent sends each week to sign up before the slots are full.

5) I manage all the kids’ medical stuff. Obviously if there’s an issue the parents come to the appointments too, but for standard dentist checkups, flu shots, sports physicals, I do it so the parents don’t have to take time off of work.

I don’t do full housekeeper responsibilities, but I do also help fold parents, cleaned, laundry, keep the kitchen tidy between meals and vacuum regularly.

Does it bother you to be doing the mother’s job?