| Discipline, if it means cruelty to your kids, is a very low class technique to gaurentee they stay low class too. |
Wonder advice. Do what you can. The research shows that gentle encouragement of their students is the most effective parental involvement. |
| Wonderful advice. |
There is no need for funds. Make sure your child pays attention in class (no phone at school), reads book (use the library), does all homework, uses Khan Academy and/or prep books for AP and SAT or ACT, and gets a part-time job. - Poor kid who ended up at Stanford |
I'm sorry to report that my kiddo with a similar profile internalized the misunderstanding of him by the school as exactly "Poor motivation and lack of work ethic," and dropped out of MC after a miserable high school career that degraded year over year though he began as a straight A, high MAP score student. I hope you appreciate how rare and unique it is for for a child with those burdens to make it. It sounds like yours was an amazing school, too |
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HS teacher here. Make sure your kid attends school every single day unless it is some weird day (half day after SAT testing or last day of school, etc.) Encourage your kid to actively participate and engage in class. That is the best way to learn. Ask questions, answer questions, call the teacher over for help during independent work, proactively ask teachers for feedback, utilise office hours or ask teacher for extra help as needed. Many kids come to class but sit there completely passively. Or they are checking their phones every few minutes.
Be assertive with the counselors if schedule needs to be changed or some issue comes up. We have a couple of dud counselors who never respond to email and stonewall students. Don’t be afraid to go higher up the chain if you have a reasonable ask but nothing is happening. Set high expectations at home. Teachers can only do so much if parents are not on the same page. Check in with teachers once or twice a semester to make sure your kid is on track. Read school emails and sign your kid up for any interesting opportunities that come up. Encourage your kid to do school sports and other clubs. Drill into your kid that they should do their own work and not cheat even on hw as it will pay off at the end. Take many AP classes but encourage them to put in the work at home that is needed for them. Use free online videos for extra help. Even teachers use them to learn new stuff and to get fresh ideas on how to approach certain topics. Use positive encouragement as much as possible rather than yelling. Make sure your kid has good food to eat and gets a good night sleep. So many high school kids are practically asleep during first period because of the crazy early start. Finally, get them a tutor if the teacher sucks and it is a hard subject or if they are crashing and burning in a subject. And make them read at least 2-3 good books outside of school every year. More for younger kids. It helps them become strong readers and writers |
OP of the original thread. I see what you did here!
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| Good attendance goes far. |
| Many good suggestions here so I’ll try not to repeat them. I’m a school counselor here as well as a mother of a kid who did better than they “should” have based on innate ability. Here’s what I think helps students succeed and that costs nothing: get your work in on time, participate in class cheerfully and thoughtfully, get to know the teacher, don’t beg for extra points but ask what you can do differently the next time if you’re disappointed, understand the teacher’s temperament and tailor your approach in each class accordingly, go in for extra help when the teacher is available, study in groups with smart students. If you suspect a learning or attention challenge, write the school and request an EMT so you can perhaps get free testing and screening, and if nothing else, get on the radar in a big setting. Typically schools try informal strategies for about six weeks before proceeding, so request that meeting early. They have 30 days legally to respond and get that set up. If things are going well in one class but not another, try to help your child figure out what’s working in that class and maybe they can duplicate it. Tell your kid to sit up front and never ever use their phone in class. Don’t sit next to friends they like to talk to. Basically set themselves up for success. If needed, some high schools have resource classes (I know Whitman does) where kids who don’t have learning disabilities can have a study hall of sorts with built in help. Choose extracurriculars where they’re likely to meet their people. Happy kids do better in school! |
| Sports and volunteering are things that can make a big difference. |
| You wouldn’t believe how much comes down to attendance. Both getting them to school every day, AND being sure that they’re actually in class and not wandering the halls. |
This thread is so much more useful than your thread, and everything can be done by high resource families too. -Not OP |
My younger girl did the Saturday School program for years. It’s a great investment of time and you might pay next to nothing. I ran errands while she was in class so I got back that time the rest of Saturday to read to her or do kitchen math/science. |