What age does sibling squabbling peak?

[Anonymous]

while managing the estate of their recently deceased parents...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a DD 5, DS 4 and DD 1. They are sweet and good kids generally, and do love each other very much. The petty squabbling is killing me though. I'm an only child and just have a low tolerance for this/don't know how to handle it. It's not big fights- they're rarely physical with each other and don't say mean things. It's just dumb bickering all day long. Any tips? When does it get better?

If you react, they'll keep arguing. Getting your attention is half of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It will peak when they are 15, 14 and 11. By that point all three kids will be in puberty. One will also be making the stressful transition to high school, and one will be making the stressful transition to middle school. Plus none of them will be able to drive, so they will be home more and squabbling in the car too.

I predict that 10 years from now, some bot from Russia (? maybe the bots will have emigrated by then ?) will bring this back as a zombie thread and you will read it, and laugh at the optimism with which you wrote it.

I am basically that bot from the future for the op as each of my 3 kids are about 10 years older than each of hers. Squabbling continues, but it sometimes seems like it’s gotten better.

Then I realize it’s because they haven’t been around each other. A full weekend together or the current summer break means back to getting on each other’s nerves and annoying each other.

It’s different though as you can separate them more easily and the youngest can hold her own. She actually may be the biggest instigator…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was going to say 48

Lol. I recently spent a few days with my brother and we are 49 and 50. It sounded just like the old days. Him teasing me, me telling him to shut up. If it had been a few more days, he might have started doing the "I'm not touching you!" BS he used to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The bickering and picking on each other, about 18 and then they go away for college.

Yes this. At least in family's with healthy dynamics. The picking on each other becomes a more gentle ribbing, not really going for a soft spot. My siblings and I are all in our 40s and we don't fight or bicker at all. We occasionally tease each other, but there's no teeth behind it or intent to really hurt like there was when we were younger.

My DH's family however, doesn't have good communication skills. He and his sister still getting into bickering tiffs that they never resolve. His parents too. None of them can just have a "drop your dukes" conversation about something that's bothering them. They just pick and jab at each other. It's so uncomfortable to watch. But not a single person in that family has ever apologized to another member of the family and it shows! I have been working on my DH for years on how to apologize when something goes sideways. It's just part of life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a DD 5, DS 4 and DD 1. They are sweet and good kids generally, and do love each other very much. The petty squabbling is killing me though. I'm an only child and just have a low tolerance for this/don't know how to handle it. It's not big fights- they're rarely physical with each other and don't say mean things. It's just dumb bickering all day long. Any tips? When does it get better?

If you react, they'll keep arguing. Getting your attention is half of it.

I disagree. Stepping in lets them know there are limits to what you will tolerate hearing them say. I also direct mine to take space away from each other if they need to. But otherwise the 1 year will get the brunt of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It will peak when they are 15, 14 and 11. By that point all three kids will be in puberty. One will also be making the stressful transition to high school, and one will be making the stressful transition to middle school. Plus none of them will be able to drive, so they will be home more and squabbling in the car too.

I predict that 10 years from now, some bot from Russia (? maybe the bots will have emigrated by then ?) will bring this back as a zombie thread and you will read it, and laugh at the optimism with which you wrote it.

I am basically that bot from the future for the op as each of my 3 kids are about 10 years older than each of hers. Squabbling continues, but it sometimes seems like it’s gotten better.

Then I realize it’s because they haven’t been around each other. A full weekend together or the current summer break means back to getting on each other’s nerves and annoying each other.

It’s different though as you can separate them more easily and the youngest can hold her own. She actually may be the biggest instigator…

You need to be tougher on her.

[Anonymous]

My boys are 12 and 15. Still squabbling. No clue. I think they’ll squabble forever.

[Anonymous]

I'm not really sure. My girls are now 16 and 13 and have always squabbled/bickered. I WILL say that over the last year or two it has gotten noticeably better with one or both of them being willing to take the high road/let it go/not have the last word.

It still happens, but its much better, so I have hope. But man did it seem like it would never end when it was younger. They are still very very different people, both in temperament and interests so I'm sure that's part of it.

[Anonymous]

I have 19 and 15 yr old girls
Not until one went to college

[Anonymous]

I remember when my middle daughter discovered she could instigate drama between her sisters. That was fun.

As they get older, they will spend more time playing and less time bickering. They will still bicker sometimes. Just notice when they’re sweet to each other and hold that close to your heart.

[Anonymous]

Lol this thread is an amazing advertisement for only having one child. Universal agreement that it never ends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lol this thread is an amazing advertisement for only having one child. Universal agreement that it never ends.

But they’re also, often, wonderful to each other. That’s like saying universal agreement that your kid will always do stuff that annoys you is an advertisement for not having children at all. I’m glad you’re happy with an only! But siblings are, IMO, worth some bickering.

[Anonymous]

My mom had a family reunion last year w/ her 7 siblings. They range in age from 64-77. They are still squabbling.

[Anonymous]

I had to finally cease all communication with my adult 10 year older brother.
Gas lighting, passive aggressiveness, and his tendency to try to steer any conversation , it could be about a ham sandwich, into a political argument he'd want to have with me.
I've blocked him from any relationship with my sons also.
Good riddance.