Would you buy/share a retirement condo with friends?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anyone done this? Successfully? Did you write a contract?- consisting of what rules and stipulations?

A couple friend of ours asked us if we would be open to buying a condo in Naples, Fla. we’ve been friends with this couple for 20 years, our kids use to hangout together when they were little. I told my DH I don’t think it’s a good idea. First, We aren’t ready since our kids are still in high school, theirs are in college. 2) I don’t like having to reveal our financials to them, 3) We would have to do construction to renovate the bedrooms to be the same size with a master bath 4) Would need to have rules about guest usage, namely our kids, 5) Will situation to name a few worries/considerations.

It can work, but given all the (perfectly valid) concerns you have, it’s not going to work for you with this couple. You don’t have enough trust or openness in the relationship- you don’t feel comfortable sharing financial information for example.

Just tell them that you appreciate the offer but you don’t even want to think about second/retirement homes until all of your kids are done with college. If they ask again, just give the same answer. Eventually they’ll tire of it and move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Really really bad idea. You never know as you age if you will have a catastrophic accident or develop Alzheimers and then you need the cash for your care. If it is tied up in a property that is co-owned with others it isn't easy to get your money out.

My mother did this with her sister and now they can't sell the vacation condo. My mother now has dementia and her sister doesn't want to sell the place. My aunt goes there frequently with her daughter and grandchildren. So now we are stuck and are going to need the cash to pay for continued memory care.

NP and in a similar predicament now with a shared beach condo my ILs bought in 2009 with a sibling & IL (2 couples).

The sibling died a few years ago and the surviving spouse no longer drives.

My ILs and the other couple have mandated a two weeks on/two weeks off schedule: they have self designated weeks they may visit the condo. Absolutely zero flexibility or exceptions.
Even now when the surviving spouse isn’t going - reverts to spouse family and friends but again no exceptions.

Surviving spouse has an adult DC with a host of financial and personal problems to include filing for personal bankruptcy.

MIL recently diagnosed with dementia and is in rapid decline. Already a need to liquidate assets to include this condo. DH is an only child and is trying to get his FIL to sell out his 1/2 or go in with survivor to sell ASAP. FIL could use the cash flow. FIL had said he wanted to leave this place in his will for us - we don’t want it (too far, too small) and don’t want to enter into a contract or even deal with problematic son of other owner (not a relative).

Maybe great idea when the 2 couples were healthy, active and interested but now it’s a huge burden.

[Anonymous]

It's a great idea if you want to prioritize access to a condo in Naples over a 20-yr friendship.

[Anonymous]

No because it would put stress on the friendships.

And no because Florida is going underwater.

[Anonymous]

I inherited shared property (vacation home) with my sibling who I adore and who is a responsible, rational person, and even that has stressors associated with it. I would 100% advise against doing something like this with friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anyone done this? Successfully? Did you write a contract?- consisting of what rules and stipulations?

A couple friend of ours asked us if we would be open to buying a condo in Naples, Fla. we’ve been friends with this couple for 20 years, our kids use to hangout together when they were little. I told my DH I don’t think it’s a good idea. First, We aren’t ready since our kids are still in high school, theirs are in college. 2) I don’t like having to reveal our financials to them, 3) We would have to do construction to renovate the bedrooms to be the same size with a master bath 4) Would need to have rules about guest usage, namely our kids, 5) Will situation to name a few worries/considerations.

Nope, nope, nope!

You will both likely want to be in FL at the same time. What happens when they insist they get the entire condo for 2 weeks because "family and the grandkids are coming to visit"

Unless you are really close and get along great with them (and have for 20+ years) it would not be worth the hassle to me. What if you want to sell, they don't but they don't want to buy you out? What happens? Basically you are stuck and cannot access your money.

What if the relationship turns sour, really bad. Then you loose everything if they are jerks

[Anonymous]

Absolutely not. Recipe for disaster.

[Anonymous]

No.

Aside from the many reasons ppls already covered, think about why they want to go in with you jointly to buy a condo. Is it b/c they cannot afford one by themselves otherwise? If that's the reason then it's a hard no. If they could afford it but just want your company, then either join them for vacations several times a year or buy units in the same development. Any of these options would be infinitely more preferrable to the one they proposed.

[Anonymous]

Is it b/c they cannot afford one by themselves otherwise?

This would be my concern. Plus it seems like the timing is right for them (kids in college), rather than you (kids in HS). I’d be wary of friends trying to suggest an arrangement where it feels like I’m a vehicle to their goal, but it’s sold to me differently.

[Anonymous]

No way! Just tell them with kids in HS you are a long way away from wanting a condo in Naples.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely not. Quickest way to end a friendship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No way

+100

Never in a billion years!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Definitely not in Naples Florida.

With climate change, the cost of insurance down there is skyrocketing already. I think housing prices are going to drop precipitously in the next decade. I could not purchase anything there right now.

I think the opposite. We will see. Insurance is baked in already.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Definitely not in Naples Florida.

With climate change, the cost of insurance down there is skyrocketing already. I think housing prices are going to drop precipitously in the next decade. I could not purchase anything there right now.

I think the opposite. We will see. Insurance is baked in already.

"How is insurance baked in?" How the heck do people afford Naples?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No way! Just tell them with kids in HS you are a long way away from wanting a condo in Naples.

I agree with this a 100%. This arrangement could create numerous challenges down the road.