Is this a thing now? (Graduation rant)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s so tacky and yet so convenient for me as the gift giver.😂

I feel seen.

[Anonymous]

I would still send but in a more inconvenient manner like a check.

[Anonymous]

I don't know anyone who asks for donations in such a direct way. Yes, it's gauche and grasping. I would call your niece to congratulate her in person, and ask her what gift is most convenient for her. She will likely tell you the same thing... but at least the niceties will have been observed, as in you asked and she answered.

[Anonymous]

Tacky AF

[Anonymous]

Wow. Very low class.

[Anonymous]

I have a senior who is graduating next week. I didn’t send out announcements or contact anyone but the grandparents about the graduation. To my knowledge, his dad and I are the only people who gave or will give him anything to celebrate.

This attitude is why.

[Anonymous]

So I’ll be a contrarian here. Generationally, each younger generation moves further away from the social norms of the older ones. What is or isn’t tacky is basically a fear of being excluded from a higher class. Being of high class or perceived as high class for the silent generation had more consequences. Those consequences being shunned, not being able to marry well, no business opportunities, no income, starvation etc are no longer in play.

Boomers and GenX who want to be perceived as high class still cling to the norms and fear being called tacky. Millennials less so and Gen Z DAGF about it. So yes the norms are changing.

My guess is that the graduating kid and parent really don’t want a ton of junk or memorable gifts. They don’t want something that they have to donate or return or pretend to treasure. As a GenX , I remember paring things down a few years ago when we moved. So many keepsake gifts from relatives that I felt obligated to keep but neither needed or wanted. Being a good GenX, I put them all in a box and lugged them around for 30 years. So while you may imagine, the recipient using that $300 pen as they sign big deals, carrying the Mark Cross briefcase into court, or wearing the cutesy Tiffany necklace when they get engaged..it’s really just going into a box in the attic.

I admire GenZ for prioritizing experiences over material items, diversity and inclusion over classism, and being willing to stop doing things just because the older generations did them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So I’ll be a contrarian here. Generationally, each younger generation moves further away from the social norms of the older ones. What is or isn’t tacky is basically a fear of being excluded from a higher class. Being of high class or perceived as high class for the silent generation had more consequences. Those consequences being shunned, not being able to marry well, no business opportunities, no income, starvation etc are no longer in play.

Boomers and GenX who want to be perceived as high class still cling to the norms and fear being called tacky. Millennials less so and Gen Z DAGF about it. So yes the norms are changing.

My guess is that the graduating kid and parent really don’t want a ton of junk or memorable gifts. They don’t want something that they have to donate or return or pretend to treasure. As a GenX , I remember paring things down a few years ago when we moved. So many keepsake gifts from relatives that I felt obligated to keep but neither needed or wanted. Being a good GenX, I put them all in a box and lugged them around for 30 years. So while you may imagine, the recipient using that $300 pen as they sign big deals, carrying the Mark Cross briefcase into court, or wearing the cutesy Tiffany necklace when they get engaged..it’s really just going into a box in the attic.

I admire GenZ for prioritizing experiences over material items, diversity and inclusion over classism, and being willing to stop doing things just because the older generations did them.

Valuing experiences is all fine and dandy. Which is why if they are going to ask for money they should offer the experience of a graduation party.

[Anonymous]

Yes, that's completely tacky. Keep in mind that the niece may have zero idea her mom did this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So I’ll be a contrarian here. Generationally, each younger generation moves further away from the social norms of the older ones. What is or isn’t tacky is basically a fear of being excluded from a higher class. Being of high class or perceived as high class for the silent generation had more consequences. Those consequences being shunned, not being able to marry well, no business opportunities, no income, starvation etc are no longer in play.

Boomers and GenX who want to be perceived as high class still cling to the norms and fear being called tacky. Millennials less so and Gen Z DAGF about it. So yes the norms are changing.

My guess is that the graduating kid and parent really don’t want a ton of junk or memorable gifts. They don’t want something that they have to donate or return or pretend to treasure. As a GenX , I remember paring things down a few years ago when we moved. So many keepsake gifts from relatives that I felt obligated to keep but neither needed or wanted. Being a good GenX, I put them all in a box and lugged them around for 30 years. So while you may imagine, the recipient using that $300 pen as they sign big deals, carrying the Mark Cross briefcase into court, or wearing the cutesy Tiffany necklace when they get engaged..it’s really just going into a box in the attic.

I admire GenZ for prioritizing experiences over material items, diversity and inclusion over classism, and being willing to stop doing things just because the older generations did them.

Valuing experiences is all fine and dandy. Which is why if they are going to ask for money they should offer the experience of a graduation party.

You are one of those people for whom the gift is about you the giver not the gift receiver. You will give them cash as long as it’s spent on you not doing something they would actually enjoy.

[Anonymous]

Tacky. I do send checks to family graduating from high school, college and grad school, but nobody has ever asked me to do it.

My sister is tacky, rude and passive aggressive, but I would never punish my nieces for that. I would still send money the way she wants it. Also, even though my sister is well off, i know she is manipulative with money, so I am happy to give them a gift with no strings attached.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So I’ll be a contrarian here. Generationally, each younger generation moves further away from the social norms of the older ones. What is or isn’t tacky is basically a fear of being excluded from a higher class. Being of high class or perceived as high class for the silent generation had more consequences. Those consequences being shunned, not being able to marry well, no business opportunities, no income, starvation etc are no longer in play.

Boomers and GenX who want to be perceived as high class still cling to the norms and fear being called tacky. Millennials less so and Gen Z DAGF about it. So yes the norms are changing.

My guess is that the graduating kid and parent really don’t want a ton of junk or memorable gifts. They don’t want something that they have to donate or return or pretend to treasure. As a GenX , I remember paring things down a few years ago when we moved. So many keepsake gifts from relatives that I felt obligated to keep but neither needed or wanted. Being a good GenX, I put them all in a box and lugged them around for 30 years. So while you may imagine, the recipient using that $300 pen as they sign big deals, carrying the Mark Cross briefcase into court, or wearing the cutesy Tiffany necklace when they get engaged..it’s really just going into a box in the attic.

I admire GenZ for prioritizing experiences over material items, diversity and inclusion over classism, and being willing to stop doing things just because the older generations did them.

What you really are saying is that they expect to benefit financially from relationships with family, with no obligation to actually interact in exchange for their "gift." And I'm guessing that "Thank You" notes will be seen as classist too... Yeah - sounds like a real improvement for society.

[Anonymous]

I don’t do graduation gifts for anyone. That includes nieces and nephews. So I’d just hit delete on the email.

[Anonymous]

Send 5 bucks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Be offended if you like but I would have no issues if my SISTER asked me this. She is your closest family.

+1