Do you tell the school about cyberbullying?

[Anonymous]

I agree that telling the Admin is a good idea. And go to the top. With proof.

I'd also manage your expectations. Our sixth grader was the object of awful cyber bullying by grademates (widespread distribution of things shared in a small, closed group that should not have been shared at all, frankely). Because DC had initially participated in the topic, they were treated as complicit and the school disciplined non one. In the end, the Principal (SFS) told us that DC would have to choose to leave the school in order to outrun the situation

I understand that it's difficult to 'put the genie back in the bottle', but this really sucked

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree that telling the Admin is a good idea. And go to the top. With proof.

I'd also manage your expectations. Our sixth grader was the object of awful cyber bullying by grademates (widespread distribution of things shared in a small, closed group that should not have been shared at all, frankely). Because DC had initially participated in the topic, they were treated as complicit and the school disciplined non one. In the end, the Principal (SFS) told us that DC would have to choose to leave the school in order to outrun the situation

I understand that it's difficult to 'put the genie back in the bottle', but this really sucked

yes, one of the most common and most awful forms of cyber bullying is to take something that the child herself or himself wrote that was inappropriate (content that is sexual, racial, etc.), and then forward it around to whatever audience (peers, school admin, strangers, public posting) that will most humiliate and harm the victim. of course to some degree it is their own fault for writing or saying the bad stuff in the first place. But the bullies are very skilled at goading the victim into saying/doing something wrong, which they will do in an effort to fit in and be included, and then turning what they said or did against them. And school administrators are often not very good at sorting out who is the bully and who is the victim in these scenarios.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Newbie here. Middle schooler being flooded with mean comments from another kid on social media about her appearance and mentioning ways she acts in school. Daughter has a hard time fitting in. Kid is a known bully. WWYD? Do we tell the school? Contact parents? Do nothing? Daughter wants to tell a trusted teacher.

Get your daughter off of social media -- completely toxic. Ugh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree that telling the Admin is a good idea. And go to the top. With proof.

I'd also manage your expectations. Our sixth grader was the object of awful cyber bullying by grademates (widespread distribution of things shared in a small, closed group that should not have been shared at all, frankely). Because DC had initially participated in the topic, they were treated as complicit and the school disciplined non one. In the end, the Principal (SFS) told us that DC would have to choose to leave the school in order to outrun the situation

I understand that it's difficult to 'put the genie back in the bottle', but this really sucked

yes, one of the most common and most awful forms of cyber bullying is to take something that the child herself or himself wrote that was inappropriate (content that is sexual, racial, etc.), and then forward it around to whatever audience (peers, school admin, strangers, public posting) that will most humiliate and harm the victim. of course to some degree it is their own fault for writing or saying the bad stuff in the first place. But the bullies are very skilled at goading the victim into saying/doing something wrong, which they will do in an effort to fit in and be included, and then turning what they said or did against them. And school administrators are often not very good at sorting out who is the bully and who is the victim in these scenarios.

This is precisely what happened to our DC. Admin there made a passing effort at seeming sympathetic but ultimately did nothing. So disappointing

[Anonymous]

Will echo. Pull them in with evidence. But honestly, your kid is better off with one good friend than fake social media friends. Get her off that toxic cr*p as soon as possible. It just going to make her feel badly about herself. Try to focus on tending a real friendship that matters

[Anonymous]

Call the other kids’ parents or go to the kid directly, mob style. My mom did that to a kid that was constantly groping me at school and she scared the shit out of him. We ran into him after school. He never bothered me again.

[Anonymous]

Why is your middle schooler on social media?

[Anonymous]

My kid in private middle school left the grade group chat because kids who cyber bully love group chats.

I did explain that deepfakes are easy to make and they should not post video or audio of themselves online for fun for this reason. There was one instance of this last year at the school that I know of.

Teach your kid to shun people like this online and in person. Confidence disarms bullies. Bullies thrive on attention.

My student really has a good relationship with administrators and would be humiliated if I told them about nasty messages online. If they were actual threats or attempts to get my kid to do something, I would raise it to administrators, but not routine body shaming. That’s not exclusive to this generation of kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Newbie here. Middle schooler being flooded with mean comments from another kid on social media about her appearance and mentioning ways she acts in school. Daughter has a hard time fitting in. Kid is a known bully. WWYD? Do we tell the school? Contact parents? Do nothing? Daughter wants to tell a trusted teacher.

Get your daughter off of social media -- completely toxic. Ugh.

If your daughter wants to confide in a trusted teacher about this and the teacher is willing to listen, by all means let her do this.

Are you confident she hasn’t already?

It’s summer so this will get worse before it gets better. Kids are bored in the summer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree that telling the Admin is a good idea. And go to the top. With proof.

I'd also manage your expectations. Our sixth grader was the object of awful cyber bullying by grademates (widespread distribution of things shared in a small, closed group that should not have been shared at all, frankely). Because DC had initially participated in the topic, they were treated as complicit and the school disciplined non one. In the end, the Principal (SFS) told us that DC would have to choose to leave the school in order to outrun the situation

I understand that it's difficult to 'put the genie back in the bottle', but this really sucked

Ballsy with that student body. Bullying is actionable in DC and I doubt the parents would welcome discovery requests

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Newbie here. Middle schooler being flooded with mean comments from another kid on social media about her appearance and mentioning ways she acts in school. Daughter has a hard time fitting in. Kid is a known bully. WWYD? Do we tell the school? Contact parents? Do nothing? Daughter wants to tell a trusted teacher.

Get your daughter off of social media -- completely toxic. Ugh.

If your daughter wants to confide in a trusted teacher about this and the teacher is willing to listen, by all means let her do this.

Are you confident she hasn’t already?

It’s summer so this will get worse before it gets better. Kids are bored in the summer.

Remove all the crap from her phone so she doesn’t have those people in her life.

[Anonymous]

I feel so bad for this generation of kids that they are subjected to this.

As parents, let's get together and severely limit the use of the cell phones and especially social media. Our kids will thank us in the future.