Help me convince my husband we should put our kids in DCPS

[Anonymous]

If you have to work this hard to convince him then......

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks for the feedback. I think the person who said it was a difference in priorities/values got it right, but I would like to stick up for myself and say that my point is not that I want "good enough" for my kids, nor that I want to do DCPS simply because that's what the neighbors are doing. I believe in public schools, I believe in being an integral part to a child's education, I am impressed with the dedication of other Hill parents who have made the elementary schools on the Hill so much better. I want my child to thrive, but I also think the Hill as a neighborhood is a wonderful place to raise a family and that a child can get a pretty stellar education outside the classroom (or in addition to the classroom, if you prefer). Some part of me thinks that hightailing it to the 'burbs would make me part of the problem and not the solution.

Anyways, yes we'll have to have more long talks.

[Anonymous]

OP,
The thing about starting with public is once you go to private it just seems harder to go back to public. Maybe that can be your main argument: Let's start with public, then see where things are after a few years. Plus, DCPS needs parents like you. Keep us posted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for the feedback. I think the person who said it was a difference in priorities/values got it right, but I would like to stick up for myself and say that my point is not that I want "good enough" for my kids, nor that I want to do DCPS simply because that's what the neighbors are doing. I believe in public schools, I believe in being an integral part to a child's education, I am impressed with the dedication of other Hill parents who have made the elementary schools on the Hill so much better. I want my child to thrive, but I also think the Hill as a neighborhood is a wonderful place to raise a family and that a child can get a pretty stellar education outside the classroom (or in addition to the classroom, if you prefer). Some part of me thinks that hightailing it to the 'burbs would make me part of the problem and not the solution.

Anyways, yes we'll have to have more long talks.

But you don't need to be the solution and in DCPS you can't be. Since your kids aren't there yet it's hard to understand and easy to get lost in idealism. That's kind of the rescuer mentality that a PP touched on. From your DH's perspective, this is about your kids and this is their childhood, can't just be about you and how "hightailing it to the 'burbs would make me part of the problem and not the solution". I am a DCPS parent and live in Mt. Pleasant/Adams Morgan but as a friend always says, "there is nothing in your neighborhood that I can't have with a 15 min drive". My kids attend a very diverse school with a lot of kids who are also very bright, we are OOB. For now it is working for us but it is a year by year thing. If you do go public on the Hill I'd read some of the current threads re: what it means to have the middle that is taught to way below your child's potential and what happens when the number of advanced kids shrinks as parents get spooked and the focus shifts to the basic and below basic kids. Museums and diversity are great but there is a value to education too. If the kids in K don't know their colors and your kid is reading it's not necessarily fair to your kid. I'd also have a solid exit strategy in case is doesn't work for your child or in case all of their friends leave after a few years to go private. That can really suck for a kid. If you are a public supporter, it's ironic that you would choose to locate in a city with among the worse schools in the country and choose a neighborhood with lower performing schools. You really need to tease out the values in that series. Your choices aren't just stay on the Hill and go public or private, are they? Not trying to offend, just offering a different perspective. I have friends on the Hill and y'all are like a cult or something. Good luck OP. Try to also talk to colleagues and friends who chose private and to relocate, not just the neighbors. You owe it to your kids to really choose a place you would have been thrilled to attend yourself as a child. It's not just Maury or Landon, kwim? You could even look into places like Hyattsville if you are kinda crunchy.

[Anonymous]

That attitude means DCPS is a hopeless situation, PP. It means that the only people like you and me and OP will either go to the best in DCPS or go private or move to the suburbs. OP, have you visited the school? You and your husband need to get yourselves to open houses and attend a few PTA meetings. That will inform you big time.

[Anonymous]

Here is why I am still in DCPS ... I hate commuting. I bought a house in DC a long time ago, I actually won't loose money, but I still cannot buy anywhere. The reality is that schools that are awesome in the burbs are like DC in expensive areas. You can get dysfunction and poverty in any county surrounding, that is also where the houses are affordable. For me I could not face commuting an extra hour each day, maybe more to not have a much better option. I take that extra time and put it into my daughter's school. I have more than my share of days that I question that decision, but for at least elementary school it is a tolerable choice.

[Anonymous]

Even public schools in the burbs are not perfect.

I know some elementary schools in Bethesda are bursting at the seams. My niece and nephew's class size in 1st grade in a new area of Loundoun was 27 students (with only a teacher).

My child's K class in a DCPS Charter is 21. Things are not perfect - but who is to say that the desireable public school in the burbs will be any better.

[Anonymous]

NP here. If your child has a pretty nice life, educated parents who expose them to much including arts, travel, etc... view early ed. years as a Ying Yang: let them attend the nearby DCPS and be taught to read and write and sing with kids who actually look like the rest of the entire real world. Save up for private when your child is not being challenged (maybe 2nd, maybe 8th, it all comes down to a few good teachers). On the other hand, if you have a generous relative footing the bill and your life is pretty tough at home go for the private. So I guess my answer is (based on experience of two superbly DCPS educated kids now in upper grades, one in private) if you can afford private easily go for public and feel the thrill of all the money you are saving!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:J.O. Wilson isn't hovering at 50%.

LOL I attended J.O.Wilson over 20 years ago. I'm surprised its looked over/not mentioned, I loved it then and it wasn't considered a Hill school back then.lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

But it's a false choice that presumes staying in DC as the only value. What about close in burbs like Arlington? Nephew goes to Key there and isn't a little douchbag as far as I can tell. BIL bikes to work at the EPA, Sis has quick Metro commute. Lots of the same pros as the Hill, with free schools but you have to give up the Hill Urban Pioneer ID. I think that's where OP and her hubs may disagree.

Seriously? When I first moved to the Hill in 1991, perhaps ... but today? Do you live in the neighborhood? It's all families, all Bugaboos -- I still love it, and am tickled that the evolution on the Hill has mirrored my life (young/single to not-so-young, with small child), but Urban Pioneer is a thing of the past, unless your geographic definition of the Hill is quite generous.

And yes, the lifestyle is qualitatively different from the 'burbs. Including Arlington. I totally understand the OP's dilemma. But let's not throw stereotypes around.

And to the OP -- could you afford to move if need be? Or is this a largely theoretical discussion? Moving to the 'burbs (or Ward 3) isn't necessarily feasible, depending on your house value and equity.

[Anonymous]

Ok, PP, let's hear your label for the reason that people cling to their lives on the Hill even when they question whether the schools are a good fit for their kids. I just don't hear the same "OMG we could NEVER leave Petworth, Bloomingdale, etc". I have a friend who stayed on the Hill long after it was economically feasible and who had 3 kids in a 2 br because they didn't want to leave "the Hill". Is it the emotional connection to your past single years? The walking? Somehow feeling "better than" people in the burbs? Your labels are also illuminating - you suggest that people are possiblly locked into houses, (in mostly small houses without yards, with poor schools), but that they are likely to have strollers that cost what many people pay for used cars? There is just a "Hill identity", that better? that seems really hard for a lot of adults to relinquish.

[Anonymous]

Ok, PP, let's hear your label for the reason that people cling to their lives on the Hill even when they question whether the schools are a good fit for their kids. I just don't hear the same "OMG we could NEVER leave Petworth, Bloomingdale, etc". I have a friend who stayed on the Hill long after it was economically feasible and who had 3 kids in a 2 br because they didn't want to leave "the Hill". Is it the emotional connection to your past single years? The walking? Somehow feeling "better than" people in the burbs? Your labels are also illuminating - you suggest that people are possiblly locked into houses, (in mostly small houses without yards, with poor schools), but that they are likely to have strollers that cost what many people pay for used cars? There is just a "Hill identity", that better? that seems really hard for a lot of adults to relinquish.

i'm not the PP, but i'd love the field this question. i moved to capitol hill in 1990. i live in a community that i feel very much a part of. i can't see pulling up stakes to find some magical school that must be great b/c it's in the suburbs. we have a lifestyle we adore (although we could do without all the problems our ancient rowhouse throws at us regularly). there is more to learning and life than which suburban school you go to and which ivy league college little booboo gets into. i have no idea whether or not maury will be a good fit for my kid, but he's 3! we will reassess as we need to, but for now, we are giving DCPS a chance. no hand-wringing or fretting here. oh, and yes, the hill identity IS better!!

[Anonymous]

Wanting your kid to be in a K where the other kids know their colors is not the same as wanting little booboo to go Ivy. DC objectively has schools that are among the worst in the country. Public boosters who choose the worst publics need to own that decision and the possible impact on their kids and you volunteering in the classroom doesn't change the reality. Schools that function and kids that come to school ready and able to learn are not "magical" nor only in the burbs.

[Anonymous]

I'm assuming that the two of you value living in the city. Maybe it's because we can't relinquish those times as DINKs or single adults, yes. Or it's for ecological reasons. Or maybe you've done the math and don't want to spend 20% of our waking hours in a car but instead with our children. Or it's because the good old days in the suburbs are long gone, too. Whatever the reason, the original question was how to convince your husband that DCPS (rather than private) is the way to go, no? Maybe it helps you help him build trust to know who some of us are. Both my husband and I have a Ph.D. from renowned universities. I'm a professor at one of the most expensive private universities in the area and the country. My husband, a Ph.D. economist, is a director at a federal agency. We bought a house in the city in 2001 under 300K with no college debts left to pay off. As you can tell, we'd not struggle to pay for private school while staying in the city. Yet, both our children are in a Capitol Hill DCPS that has yet to meet AYP with no intention to leave. The most important reasons we're here are the following:
- We love it (and that includes our two children), the school, the community, the proximity of it all. We have the confidence that our children will get to know the full spectrum of what life can throw at them and will learn to cope with it. They'll be independent soon but without the risk of being killed in a DUI (one of the highest if not the highest risk to lose a child). And we have a say here.
- It's most definitely cost-effective: A few posts up, you find some compelling dollar values. But don't forget to add to those figures the taxes, rent, or home price that you already pay or payed for schools, and the opportunity costs of sending your children to that college that your husband may have in mind, the tuition of which has probably quadrupled since you went to school. Given those figures (it's a high price to pay to simply insure against potential adversity), you'd most definitely at least want to give it a shot.
- Both of our kids thrive in an academically challenging and nurturing environment. By all accounts (and you can dig through the OVID education database yourself), while private schools may on average demonstrate higher academic performance, one and the same (hypothetical) child will actually perform at the same level. The difference in performance is mainly due to the selection bias of kids going in (with required income and IQ tests and all) and that's not even true anymore if I take the word of one parent having opted out of private school here recently.
I hope this provides you with one or the other compelling argument.

[Anonymous]

Eight years ago, my husband and I faced this same problem. I wanted private. He wanted public. I went to the CHDS open house and was impressed. Then I sat in on a pre-k/k class at our neighborhood school. My husband won. My oldest is now in middle school. We still live on the hill and we are still in the public school system. Not every year has been perfect, but I can see a scenario where my child graduates from public HS in the district.