Assisted living communities with a vibrant vibe?

[Anonymous]

Can’t afford a buy-in community.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:CCRC seems crazy expensive.

Relative is on a fixed income.

I’m definitely looking for a community with scalable care (seems common)—but everyone seems really frail.

If relative lives alone, they won’t manage their nutrition—so they need a place that provides meals and makes sure they aren’t skipping meals.

They have fallen before, although not recently. We are worried they might fall again if left alone and nobody would notice. They can do stairs, but not without risk—which is why we want them to move to AL (and why none of us can have them in our homes since they can’t do stairs unassisted).

They don’t drive anymore, which is a big reason why they would benefit from AL.

It’s become difficult to handle their bills. Another plus of AL.

So they want/need something, but can't afford it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can’t afford a buy-in community.

AL is far more expensive - generally $10k/ month.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can’t afford a buy-in community.

AL is far more expensive - generally $10k/ month.

?

Not what I’m seeing.

Buy-in communities are $100-200k plus monthly fees.

ALs start at $5k in the dc metro area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can’t afford a buy-in community.

AL is far more expensive - generally $10k/ month.

?

Not what I’m seeing.

Buy-in communities are $100-200k plus monthly fees.

ALs start at $5k in the dc metro area.

You are seeing some great places for your relative then. The buy-ins we looked at last year were $350-$800k (a few higher), although you get 90% of it back. Even the Erickson places like Riderwood are more than $200k for the buy in. My parent is paying $5000 for independent living in Rockville with 2 meals. Al is much higher because of the higher need for staff and more meals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:CCRC seems crazy expensive.

Relative is on a fixed income.

I’m definitely looking for a community with scalable care (seems common)—but everyone seems really frail.

If relative lives alone, they won’t manage their nutrition—so they need a place that provides meals and makes sure they aren’t skipping meals.

They have fallen before, although not recently. We are worried they might fall again if left alone and nobody would notice. They can do stairs, but not without risk—which is why we want them to move to AL (and why none of us can have them in our homes since they can’t do stairs unassisted).

They don’t drive anymore, which is a big reason why they would benefit from AL.

It’s become difficult to handle their bills. Another plus of AL.

So they want/need something, but can't afford it?

No.

They can afford AL, but they don’t like it. They think everyone is too old/too frail.

AL is $5-7k/month where I’ve looked. Do-able, but they think it’s a place for old people to wait to die.

[Anonymous]

My parent liked bright view.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:CCRC seems crazy expensive.

Relative is on a fixed income.

I’m definitely looking for a community with scalable care (seems common)—but everyone seems really frail.

If relative lives alone, they won’t manage their nutrition—so they need a place that provides meals and makes sure they aren’t skipping meals.

They have fallen before, although not recently. We are worried they might fall again if left alone and nobody would notice. They can do stairs, but not without risk—which is why we want them to move to AL (and why none of us can have them in our homes since they can’t do stairs unassisted).

They don’t drive anymore, which is a big reason why they would benefit from AL.

It’s become difficult to handle their bills. Another plus of AL.

So they want/need something, but can't afford it?

No.

They can afford AL, but they don’t like it. They think everyone is too old/too frail.

AL is $5-7k/month where I’ve looked. Do-able, but they think it’s a place for old people to wait to die.

That's accurate, which is why they probably need Independent Living. Even many of the IL places we looked at skewed very old and many people with mobility challenges.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:CCRC seems crazy expensive.

Relative is on a fixed income.

I’m definitely looking for a community with scalable care (seems common)—but everyone seems really frail.

If relative lives alone, they won’t manage their nutrition—so they need a place that provides meals and makes sure they aren’t skipping meals.

They have fallen before, although not recently. We are worried they might fall again if left alone and nobody would notice. They can do stairs, but not without risk—which is why we want them to move to AL (and why none of us can have them in our homes since they can’t do stairs unassisted).

They don’t drive anymore, which is a big reason why they would benefit from AL.

It’s become difficult to handle their bills. Another plus of AL.

So they want/need something, but can't afford it?

No.

They can afford AL, but they don’t like it. They think everyone is too old/too frail.

AL is $5-7k/month where I’ve looked. Do-able, but they think it’s a place for old people to wait to die.

That's accurate, which is why they probably need Independent Living. Even many of the IL places we looked at skewed very old and many people with mobility challenges.

They are looking at the IL options in AL communities.

[Anonymous]

The Modena Reserve in Kensington seems nice

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:CCRC seems crazy expensive.

Relative is on a fixed income.

I’m definitely looking for a community with scalable care (seems common)—but everyone seems really frail.

If relative lives alone, they won’t manage their nutrition—so they need a place that provides meals and makes sure they aren’t skipping meals.

They have fallen before, although not recently. We are worried they might fall again if left alone and nobody would notice. They can do stairs, but not without risk—which is why we want them to move to AL (and why none of us can have them in our homes since they can’t do stairs unassisted).

They don’t drive anymore, which is a big reason why they would benefit from AL.

It’s become difficult to handle their bills. Another plus of AL.

So they want/need something, but can't afford it?

No.

They can afford AL, but they don’t like it. They think everyone is too old/too frail.

AL is $5-7k/month where I’ve looked. Do-able, but they think it’s a place for old people to wait to die.

That's accurate, which is why they probably need Independent Living. Even many of the IL places we looked at skewed very old and many people with mobility challenges.

They are looking at the IL options in AL communities.

I thought OP said she wanted AL so they got more support and all meals. Maybe OP is confused about what the differences between IL and AL are but I assume not since she’s been visiting and pricing places.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Leisure world doesn’t offer assisted living. It’s independent living.

Most assisted living places I’ve seen offer different levels of care, and I am not worried about nursing home level of care at the moment.

They basically need a community of their peers plus meals and someone to notice if they fall, don’t eat, or decline.

Relatives aren’t local and nobody is equipped to provide such care since everyone works and nobody has a home with an extra bedroom, accessible bathroom, etc.

Okay. But you can *become* very, very worried about it in a fraction of a second. At non-scalable places, one stroke or bad fall can mean you can't live there anymore, and you'll need to find another place very quickly and may not have a lot of choices, or any choices. Do you want to set your relative up for this kind of situation?

It's all too common for people to feel this way and you don't have to accommodate it if you don't think it's in your relative's best interest. Everyone wants to be somewhere that's "vibrant", but we can't all be the oldest person in our setting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can’t afford a buy-in community.

AL is far more expensive - generally $10k/ month.

?

Not what I’m seeing.

Buy-in communities are $100-200k plus monthly fees.

ALs start at $5k in the dc metro area.

$5k for AL in the DC area has to mean a small group home (maybe 5-10 rooms max). It’s going to be very basic at that cost. Most of the larger/fancier places start at about twice that and can easily go up depending on the care level needed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The Modena Reserve in Kensington seems nice

That’s a good one. The Seneca in Rockville is another nice one and is Brightview West End. There’s a huge one also opening up in July by Rio in Gaithersburg that looks like a 5 star resort.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Leisure world doesn’t offer assisted living. It’s independent living.

Most assisted living places I’ve seen offer different levels of care, and I am not worried about nursing home level of care at the moment.

They basically need a community of their peers plus meals and someone to notice if they fall, don’t eat, or decline.

Relatives aren’t local and nobody is equipped to provide such care since everyone works and nobody has a home with an extra bedroom, accessible bathroom, etc.

Okay. But you can *become* very, very worried about it in a fraction of a second. At non-scalable places, one stroke or bad fall can mean you can't live there anymore, and you'll need to find another place very quickly and may not have a lot of choices, or any choices. Do you want to set your relative up for this kind of situation?

It's all too common for people to feel this way and you don't have to accommodate it if you don't think it's in your relative's best interest. Everyone wants to be somewhere that's "vibrant", but we can't all be the oldest person in our setting.

The ones I’m looking at have nursing care and memory care. They get very pricey if you need round the clock nursing care, so I would either figure out bringing them home and paying for care or depleting their funds and transitioning to a Medicaid nursing home. Or staying put. It all depends on timing and funds.

Bottom line: it’s all very depressing. Nobody wants to live around frail people in wheel chairs.