Vent Spec Ed in school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So my younger sibling has dysgraphia and I just have bad handwriting. I have always been baffled by the ways that people treat handwriting as some sort of proxy for character or effort or anything. Like most people use computers for everything and are like 10 years away from AI obsoleting everyone but sure let’s focus on handwriting.

Well said!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That really sucks.

My 9th grader has dyslexia and poor fine motor skills. He's done OT many times and several rounds of explicit handwriting instruction, including at a SN school. It still looks like he writes with his feet.

He used to get teased by other students but not so much anymore. Teachers struggle to read his writing (as do I) but he is supposed to be able to type it.

At this point, there isn't much farther he can go. He did OT last summer with no improvement. My goal this summer is for him to be able to sign his name fluidly and fill out a doctor's form legibly. It is what it is.

We low key rib him about it at home at times. Mainly to keep it from being a forbidden topic that has power. His handwriting is terrible and it most likely will be terrible for the rest of his life and he does need to be able to shrug it off.

That said, what that teacher did is not right!

Pp I'm sorry your sons therapy wasn't successful. I totally get what you're saying about not making deficits taboo. We all tease each other about being autistic in our house. For the same reason. That's very acceptable for family members.
It would be not okay for a teacher or boss or acquaintance to make the same jokes.

[Anonymous]

I'm a teacher with NO training on dysgraphia. The teacher's comment to your child has ZERO to do with training or the lack of it. That comment reflects them being an a$$hole. No teacher should need training to not be unkind. I'm sorry this happened to your kid and his teacher is a jerk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What are you doing at home to help?

Did you post on the wrong thread? What happens at home has nothing to do with a teacher humiliating a student in front of their peers. 🤨

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the poster who thinks intent is important. A lot of teachers try to make jokes to bond with the kids (this one missed the mark to be generous) but I think that's really different from a teacher who is actually hostile and discriminatory towards kids with special needs.

There are so many horrible things that happen to children with special needs that you really need to pick what you get upset about. In my book this would not register and my child has been good naturedly teased by teachers like this many times.

The gaslighting is crazy

My mother in law makes passive aggressive comments like this and tries to pass them off as jokes. They're not good natured.

+1 Intent does not matter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the poster who thinks intent is important. A lot of teachers try to make jokes to bond with the kids (this one missed the mark to be generous) but I think that's really different from a teacher who is actually hostile and discriminatory towards kids with special needs.

There are so many horrible things that happen to children with special needs that you really need to pick what you get upset about. In my book this would not register and my child has been good naturedly teased by teachers like this many times.

The gaslighting is crazy

My mother in law makes passive aggressive comments like this and tries to pass them off as jokes. They're not good natured.

When a guy hits you, it doesn't matter what his intent was - to be funny or to abuse you.

Abuse is abuse. People in the teaching profession should know that a joke which has a student as its butt or focal point - that is not a joke. That is abusive.

I am sorry you & your DC experienced this OP. IME, teachers who use put downs like this do it regularly. Part of becoming independent is learning to stand up for yourself. Coach your kid to write a polite letter to his teacher, "Dear Ms. X - when you said Y and Z to me in class in front of everyone, I found it very hurtful (fill in other feelings as necessary). Being singled out as the butt of a joke in front of others makes it hard for me to look forward to coming to class and learning with you.

My handwriting is bad because I have dysgraphia. I am doing my best. If you think my handwriting is an impediment in class, perhaps we can meet with the 504 team and have an accommodation to add use of a computer for all writing to my 504 plan. Please let me know if you would like to do this.

Thanks for your understanding. "

This approach has the advantage of putting your student's version of events and how he felt on the record. It gives the teacher a chance to apologize (we're all human and make mistakes). If the teacher continues to harass the student, then I would elevate to complain to a supervisor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That was clearly not nice, but devil's advocate- do you know the intention? I have one NT and one SN and just last week, the NT kids came home laughing because his math teacher told him that he was clearly destined to be a doctor because his handwriting is so illegible. It is. He does not have OT, though I'm sure he could use it, just really poor handwriting. The teacher said it in front of the whole class and he could have taken it meanly, but he thought it was funny and came home bragging about his horrible handwriting. I'm not saying this in a way to excuse the teacher, but it might be a way to turn the events around in your child's mind.

There is a far cry between "you could be a doctor!" And "did you write this with your feet?"

ND people are much more likely to have hypermobility in specific areas of their bodies including their fingers. This is not a muscle weakness but rather a weakness of the fascia which can not be strengthened with more use. Intact more use leads to cramping an injury-- I'm talking to you, specifically, the poster above who said "what are you doing about it at home?"
Bullying a student who can't write is as bad as bullying a student with Cerebral palsy because they can't walk.

Just because you can't see the disability doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

There doesn't need to be special training to be a decent human being.

Right? His handwriting isn't bad because he doesn't care. He can't help it.

[Anonymous]

We got a SN school with SN teachers. One of them said to my DD in a specific class, "Wow your handwriting is very bad.... This is not her regular teacher, but another SN teacher came in to proxy a text. They should teach cursive in this school". My daughter is graduating soon, and we're soooo ready to move on.

DD said something to her regular teacher about it and her teacher said she was going to say something. It's not always better at an SN school.

[Anonymous]

OP, i get it that your child is uncomfortable about escalating. However, if you do nothing, you're exposing your own child to repeated comments like that, and also normalizing this behavior - this teacher will continue doing it to other kids as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What are you doing at home to help?

This is a terrible comment. It’s not your fault, OP. I’m very sorry the teacher and this poster are such jerks.