Signs of Early Dementia and Financial Abuse

[Anonymous]

You can have your mom cancel the credit cards and bank cards and get new ones with new numbers.

You can also pull a free credit report in each of their names, and do yours and any siblings as well. Basically anyone for whom your dad knows or has access to the Social Security Number, in case this person is doing identity theft.

[Anonymous]

Warn the friend that his financial transactions with your father are being monitored for possible attempts to defraud. I hope your mother is a joint account holder and can change the passwords on the accounts, get new credit cards, etc. Even possibly transfer most of it to an account in her name, for which you'd have power of attorney, depending on where the money comes from.

[Anonymous]

He needs to be evaluated for mental competence.

[Anonymous]

Honestly I would focus on protecting/supporting your mom right now.

It might be a good idea for her to meet with an attorney, with you. Bring as much financial documentation as possible. The lawyer can help you and your mom figure out what she can do to protect assets and if there’s anything she can or should do to warn the abusive party.

You’re in for a very bumpy ride and unfortunately there aren’t a lot of supports and very little you can do to stop self-destructive behavior until it gets considerably worse. Focus on your mom.

[Anonymous]

Call the "friend" and tell him to stop persuading your father to make purchases. Tell him that you are aware of his shenanigans and are not going to tolerate them.

Your father will likely need to be put under guardianship in the near future. Talk to an elder law attorney, ideally to a member of NAELA.

He needs medication asap. Your mom's safety is already in danger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly I would focus on protecting/supporting your mom right now.

It might be a good idea for her to meet with an attorney, with you. Bring as much financial documentation as possible. The lawyer can help you and your mom figure out what she can do to protect assets and if there’s anything she can or should do to warn the abusive party.

You’re in for a very bumpy ride and unfortunately there aren’t a lot of supports and very little you can do to stop self-destructive behavior until it gets considerably worse. Focus on your mom.

I agree 100% on protecting your mom. And if not a lawyer then a financial planner who specializes in senior finances. They probably see this type of scenario often. You can also couch it in terms of "protecting their money from scammers" in general. My dad has dementia and is pretty much a prime target for scammers. Super friendly and talkative and trusting and absolutely no common sense or critical thinking. We put all their money into an account with a financial planner, and my parents only have access to a small bank account. The financial planner has instructions to contact my brother or me for any withdrawal requests more than $1k over their monthly transfer.