Bumble - new “opening move”?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a woman, I found Bumble to be demoralizing. In my experience, men matched and vetted me AFTER I messaged. I thought they were interested in my profile and pictures, but no. They just liked all women, and when a woman would message as a result of the match, only then would a man decide whether he would consider actually matching. So often times, I would be unmatched after my first message sent. It was an esteem roller coaster and an unforeseen and gross antithesis to the actual intent of women messaging first.

Why did you message them first? Can’t you just wait until someone really interested messages you ?

No. The whole point of Bumble, and the way it was set up, was that women only could message first in order to avoid unwanted (and sometimes crass or inappropriate) first messages from men.

Not anymore

https://www.forbes.com/sites/kimelsesser/2024/05/03/men-can-now-initiate-conversations-on-bumble-heres-why-it-matters/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's the same - no one messages each other! When I try to message my matches half the time they unmatch. I'm female and when I message it's very low-key, just hi and something based on their profile to get the conversation started, like "hi, I see you like movies, what have you seen recently?" I have no idea how people actually meet!

Most women on Bumble are too lazy to do even that. They just say "hi" and let you take it from there.

Because we know the men swipe on everyone and aren’t necessarily interested.

Because we know there's no point in being "interested" (and putting in a lot of effort) when she's been "liked" by hundreds of guys, and if you send her a high-effort message she most likely won't even look at it.

[Anonymous]

Which app should we be using, then?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Which app should we be using, then?

Real life

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a woman, I found Bumble to be demoralizing. In my experience, men matched and vetted me AFTER I messaged. I thought they were interested in my profile and pictures, but no. They just liked all women, and when a woman would message as a result of the match, only then would a man decide whether he would consider actually matching. So often times, I would be unmatched after my first message sent. It was an esteem roller coaster and an unforeseen and gross antithesis to the actual intent of women messaging first.

Why did you message them first? Can’t you just wait until someone really interested messages you ?

No. The whole point of Bumble, and the way it was set up, was that women only could message first in order to avoid unwanted (and sometimes crass or inappropriate) first messages from men.

Not anymore

https://www.forbes.com/sites/kimelsesser/2024/05/03/men-can-now-initiate-conversations-on-bumble-heres-why-it-matters/

Hah, so women were too lazy to even send a "Hi" to men they like, so they need to allow men to be able to do that...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Which app should we be using, then?

Real life

The same real life where women seem annoyed to be approached?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a woman, I found Bumble to be demoralizing. In my experience, men matched and vetted me AFTER I messaged. I thought they were interested in my profile and pictures, but no. They just liked all women, and when a woman would message as a result of the match, only then would a man decide whether he would consider actually matching. So often times, I would be unmatched after my first message sent. It was an esteem roller coaster and an unforeseen and gross antithesis to the actual intent of women messaging first.

Welcome to the typical guy’s experience approaching women in bars pre-online dating. Some of them couldn’t say “I have a boyfriend” fast enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Which app should we be using, then?

Real life

The same real life where women seem annoyed to be approached?

you have to follow rules 1 and 2 in real life

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a woman, I found Bumble to be demoralizing. In my experience, men matched and vetted me AFTER I messaged. I thought they were interested in my profile and pictures, but no. They just liked all women, and when a woman would message as a result of the match, only then would a man decide whether he would consider actually matching. So often times, I would be unmatched after my first message sent. It was an esteem roller coaster and an unforeseen and gross antithesis to the actual intent of women messaging first.

That’s how men feel

[Anonymous]

This whole thing has been hilarious. The modern world has tried to subvert the natural order of things in every single way possible. Then, they find out - issue by issue - that this doesn't work and have to revert to tradition.

Now, they find out men should actually be the pursuers in relationships. I wonder when they'll figure out that most women will actually be better off as SAHMs or that IQ differences exist among the races and explain a lot of society's current dysfunction.

[Anonymous]

The dating market is broken. If it was a regulated market it's a classic sign of market failure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It was apparently too much work for women to message first.

So true

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a woman, I found Bumble to be demoralizing. In my experience, men matched and vetted me AFTER I messaged. I thought they were interested in my profile and pictures, but no. They just liked all women, and when a woman would message as a result of the match, only then would a man decide whether he would consider actually matching. So often times, I would be unmatched after my first message sent. It was an esteem roller coaster and an unforeseen and gross antithesis to the actual intent of women messaging first.

That’s how men feel

So if everyone feels this way, maybe the problem is the apps…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The dating market is broken. If it was a regulated market it's a classic sign of market failure.

Women broke it.