Graduation Party... Cash Bar???

[Anonymous]

No cash bar. Just the sangria and sodas. It's lunch.

[Anonymous]

No cash bar. Just the sangria and sodas. It's lunch. I also think that it sounds lovely and thoughtful.

[Anonymous]

Doesn't anyone feel bad that you are spending on this lavish luncheon for them? Are they more well off than you? I'd feel bad having a recent grad cover my lunch like this and would rather they buy themselves something nice to celebrate especially if I was in a much better financial position.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Doesn't anyone feel bad that you are spending on this lavish luncheon for them? Are they more well off than you? I'd feel bad having a recent grad cover my lunch like this and would rather they buy themselves something nice to celebrate especially if I was in a much better financial position.

This is grad school, not undergrad. Idk what OP’s program is but when I graduated grad school, I was entering a job with a salary of $200k (and was also married to someone earning similar). Wouldn’t assume that anyone would feel bad in that circumstance.

[Anonymous]

What you have planned sounds good. No need to add a cash bar. That's just the restaurant trying to make extra money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The restaurant is offering that because it's a money grab for them. What you have on the menu is fine. The alcoholics will ask the waiter where they can get their drinks.

This exactly.

We did something similar for our rehearsal dinner and the restaurant also suggested we offer a cash bar. Hard no. Most people were fine with what was available and a very few people went to the bar.

You are so thoughtful and generous to be doing this OP. Congratulations and enjoy!

[Anonymous]

Guests can go to the bar if they something more than sangria. Your plan sounds good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s lunch? Just offer iced tea, lemonade, water, sangria. No need for a cash bar, sheesh.

I agree, it's lunch. It's also at a restaurant, so if someone wanted something different isn't there an actual bar they could go up to to pay for something else? For some reason that's better to me than having your own little "cash only" bar by the rest of the drinks. I'm an old school WASP with family members who would love a 3 martini lunch but I feel like you either do full bar (paid) or they...find their way. I'm the first to think a cash-only bar at a Sat night wedding is the tackiest thing EVER, but a grad student paying for their own party? Lunch? Sangria is fine.

You do not need to provide alcohol at all. As the host, whatever you decide should be graciously accepted by the guests.

I had my wedding reception at a fancy restaurant. I (bride) paid for the reception since I was a working adult. My husband and I drink maybe 1-5 drinks per year. We offered a champagne toast with dinner and had champagne punch before dinner with the appetizers.

I noticed just a couple people out of 90 slipped down the hall to get a beer. Not sorry about saving $3K and avoiding the risk of a few crusty old man relatives stumbling around getting loud.

I think everyone had a nice time. And I expect the people at your lunch will too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What you have planned sounds lovely! I wouldn’t add a cash bar. If anyone wants to buy a drink, they can find the bar and order one somehow. But no one needs to drink at lunch. And you’re already offering sangria.

Completely agree. This is perfect!

The cash bar just seems confusing and detracts from your generosity with this nice event.

[Anonymous]

Just offer lunch and a non-alcoholic beverage. No one needs alcohol at lunch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the OP graduating and paying for my own grad school party. It's at a restaurant, where I have decided to cover the entire meal with a set menu.

I have family and friends coming. I am paying for the meal as a thank you for all the people who have supported me during my grad school years.

The bill is about $2700 for lunch food/sangria/dessert for an expected 45 people.

I can NOT afford more than that.

The restaurant has offered to set up a small cash bar in the room for this who want more than sangria.

Is this okay etiquette wise?

How to convey this ?


Invitations have already been sent weeks ago.

Sounds absolutely beautiful. Nothing more needed. I’d love an event like this.

Agree

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you cannot afford this, find a cheaper alternative.

It's lunch. Sangria is more than enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just offer lunch and a non-alcoholic beverage. No one needs alcohol at lunch.

Disagree, the sangria will make it feel more festive. OP is already planning to offer it, sounds just right.

[Anonymous]

OP, if someone will be there who you trust, maybe you can deputized them as the person who will squelch any attempt by Drunk Uncle to order alcoholic drinks, which would run up your bill. They can do it with a light touch or a joke, but they can run interference on that for you. Also let the waitstaff know in advance that you aren’t covering any drinks outside what’s been planned (ie sangria).

Nobody needs a lot of booze at lunchtime. And sangria is delicious. Congratulations, OP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s lunch? Just offer iced tea, lemonade, water, sangria. No need for a cash bar, sheesh.

This. And so nice if you op. Congrats.