What to send family whose mom has cancer

[Anonymous]

I'd either drop off an easily reheated meal (my favorite is risotto), or do an Uber eats/doordash gift card. Ask someone if there's a meal train set up. That way you don't drop off risotto and the same day that someone else is dropping off lasagna

[Anonymous]

Send a house cleaner

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd either drop off an easily reheated meal (my favorite is risotto), or do an Uber eats/doordash gift card. Ask someone if there's a meal train set up. That way you don't drop off risotto and the same day that someone else is dropping off lasagna

Agree with this poster. Having gone through this, one of the unforeseen challenges was having lots of meals brought over, but not enough space in the refrigerator to store them. And if the family is in the early throes of this diagnosis, some appetites have waned and they may not be eating as much, just due to the stress of the situation. Plus, if mom is going through chemo, she will more than likely have taste bud challenges (my husband couldn't eat anything super hot or super cold, tomato-based things were too acidic, and dairy based things exacerbated his nausea). In all, an Ubereats gift card or a gift card to a restaurant that carries lots of options is helpful for the flexibility. And on those days when only the kids were eating, we could use up just as much of the gift card as we actually needed at that time.

[Anonymous]

So, you're saying that a chest freezer is a good gift?

[Anonymous]

Is she undergoing chemo or radiation? Try to find out if she has any dietary preferences. Kids are easy, but when I went through radiation I needed a high protein diet (I'm vegetarian, so many normal options are low protein), but not necessarily low carb too. Throw in extra bagels or brownies, and maybe some cut up fruit. You're a good friend!

[Anonymous]

When my friend recently went through cancer treatment, she appreciated door dash gift cards and somewhat niche gifts that provided her comfort (eg, wedge pillows, socks,

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Make a meal that you are good at, and bring it over. Could be tacos, lasagna (although I'd caution against this as everyone does it), a chicken dish, pulled pork (if you know they eat pork), etc.

Include protein, veggies, grains and a dessert. Could be brownies and berries or whatever. If you are a great chocolate chip cookie maker, bring that

Pot pie?

I agree with the above though - I just drop off something I am good at.

[Anonymous]

I recently lost my spouse to cancer, after a 24 month period of illness. UberEats / DoorDash / GrubHub were the best, because we could use it when and how we wanted. It can also be nice to just unexpectedly drop off a treat (e.g. cookies you just baked, some nice fruit you picked up, etc.). So sorry your friend is going through this.

[Anonymous]

My favorite meal I received was ready to eat items for my fridge: chicken salad, fruit salad, some cold tortellini, nice sliced bread and half a pound cake. It was perfect.

[Anonymous]

I would not send anything. So presumptuous. It's not all about you and making yourself look good by sending a gift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Avoid the Mother’s Day themed offerings, but Spoonful of Comfort has really good stuff.

https://www.spoonfulofcomfort.com/

I came here to say this! I discovered this company during the pandemic when loved ones got sick and I couldn’t see them. The soups, rolls and cookies are delicious!

Someone sent this to me when I had cancer. It was great! I received chicken noodle and tomato soup. Both were good!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I recently lost my spouse to cancer, after a 24 month period of illness. UberEats / DoorDash / GrubHub were the best, because we could use it when and how we wanted. It can also be nice to just unexpectedly drop off a treat (e.g. cookies you just baked, some nice fruit you picked up, etc.). So sorry your friend is going through this.

I am so, so sorry for your loss. May their memory be a blessing.

[Anonymous]

Something that can be stashed in the freezer is helpful-homemade soup or a baked pasta. She won't have to eat it right away if not needed.

[Anonymous]

Coordinate the meal with her partner. They’ll know likes & dislikes and the best schedule.

[Anonymous]

I agree that whatever you make really well would be such a nice gesture!

When I was going through hard times, I had so many friends who said "Let me know if you need anything!" Some friends came through and others did not...

One friend's DH is a chef. I was like, Oh the kids love that penne vodka DH makes, maybe one day he could make some, just for the kids, for dinner. She was like, Oh he's not feeling well- yes we'll do it, but give me a few days, she hemmed and hawed.... That's fine, but I felt like an idiot for asking.

Another time I was supposed to be in charge of Door Decorating because I am the class parent. In the midst of my dad suddenly dying and my cancer diagnosis, I asked a friend if she could be in the charge of collecting donations and help with the decor. She was like, Oh I'll see, more hemming and hawing! .... eventually she collected the money and we both did the decorating.

But again, I felt dumb taking people up on their offers of help, and yeah a little angry that during a hard time they could say anything to me other than, Yes of course whatever you need.

Just go in there and help. I vote for overstepping. (I'm a single mom so maybe it's different if a spouse is there managning everything)

Be there.