If your child needed mental health help

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 22yo had a psychotic break 18 months ago and it's been incredibly hard to pull him out of the psychosis. Currently on his third hospitalization/psych hold. We wish SO SO much we'd been a lot stricter in high school about him smoking pot. I think that was the gateway to everything that came afterward and it has such strong ties to psychosis. It seemed like this came out of the blue, but in hindsight there were signs of what was coming. However, we didn't know what to look for, or that we should be looking. We have no family history of anything like this. It's a living nightmare and something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.

The only piece of advice I have is to try to get your child to sign a release enabling you to speak with their medical care team once they are 18. We didn't have this in place and it made things so much harder. We couldn't get him to update it and have just been told it expired.

I have a friend going through the exact same thing with her son. They too blame it on him smoking too much pot. Hugs to you, it sounds so hard and so scary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Another parent of a kid who became psychotic as a young adult (21). The forms are a great idea. It’s not foolproof because we found hospitals still ask and my kid refused to allow us to get information and I can’t tell you how hard those periods are when you don’t know where your kid is.

Do you have a form sample?

We are new to this, so trying to learn from others in order to be prepared. We had no warning and assume that it might be that way again.

[Anonymous]

PP with 22yo son here. I can open my own form but for the life of me can't track it down on my own county's website. In CA it's called an "AB 1424 Form" and a lot of counties use the same one, like this:
https://docs.google.com/file/d/0B1mjz02FtuU_UGc3VWxjQ2pjRzg/edit?resourcekey=0-ENvwYqyhSvmidQKZQybLdA

My own county has what I think is a better form and I'll keep looking for it and will post it when I find it.

Sending virtual support to anyone going through this. It's brutal. Our son finally called us yesterday, after 5 days of being MIA in the system. So at least we know where he is. So hard.

[Anonymous]

Just found it -- it's actually the same but their letterhead makes it look nicer. Anyhow! I do think it's helpful to give to a care team, particularly in a situation where your loved one isn't able or willing to communicate medical history etc. With HIPAA, a care team may not be able to talk to you, but you can pass information to them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just found it -- it's actually the same but their letterhead makes it look nicer. Anyhow! I do think it's helpful to give to a care team, particularly in a situation where your loved one isn't able or willing to communicate medical history etc. With HIPAA, a care team may not be able to talk to you, but you can pass information to them.

I found with the last round of hospitalizations (2 involuntary hospitalizations at three different facilities - there was a transfer partway through one) that staff would not even accept our calls after my kid said no contact and they would not provide the staff and doctors names so we couldn’t actually even share information. We couldn’t even share medication information or outpatient provider information.

[Anonymous]

If he said he was ok, what made you think he wasn’t?


He seemed flatter. He was engaged with family but something seemed off. It’s difficult to pinpoint. But you probably know your child better than anyone. Listen to your intuition.

[Anonymous]

I found with the last round of hospitalizations (2 involuntary hospitalizations at three different facilities - there was a transfer partway through one) that staff would not even accept our calls after my kid said no contact and they would not provide the staff and doctors names so we couldn’t actually even share information. We couldn’t even share medication information or outpatient provider information.

Oof. I get it from their perspective since what is happening is very real to them, and of course HIPAA rules are there for a reason, but it's still so hard. Mine will talk to my husband but I am barred from contact for whatever reason. As a mom, it's really hard. We're on the third hospitalization but second facility, so our hope is that they can review last year's records for some sort of baseline.

We're living two lives right now; our younger kid is about to graduate from HS, going to the prom this weekend, very excited for a trip with friends this summer, moving across the country for school in the fall -- and then have all of this going on at the same time. Cosplaying a happy family is exhausting and we get to do it all weekend for a visit from elderly extended family who will not understand our situation or think that heavy application of prayer or organic vegetables will cure everything. We live in a really gossipy community and I know we are a topic of conversation. I feel so deeply for everyone here who is going through it; it's a lonely existence.

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry, PP, it is incredibly difficult. DP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
If he said he was ok, what made you think he wasn’t?

He seemed flatter. He was engaged with family but something seemed off. It’s difficult to pinpoint. But you probably know your child better than anyone. Listen to your intuition.

This. Look up "prodrome" bipolar and schizophrenia.

In retrospect that was exactly what my kid was experiencing but (I don't mean this to sound cruel or detached) he was always sort of a slacker, like from elementary school. Once he was out of high school, we figured, "Whatever, he's 18-19, he doesn't want to go to family events, fair enough." Smokes a lot of weed... I don't like it but pretty much every boy around here seems to... He was always off surfing, working, half-assing it at CC but turning in surprisingly decent grades, and we didn't see him too much. Then it blew up one night and it became apparent we were dealing with something a lot bigger than just a slacker kid. Once someone told me about prodromal symptoms, I read about it and it clicked into place. But nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition, right?

[Anonymous]

Not the OP, but want to say how much I've appreciated the thoughtful comments and suggestions here. DCUM can go sideways fast, so it's nice when the best in people shows up.

Thinking of everyone here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I found with the last round of hospitalizations (2 involuntary hospitalizations at three different facilities - there was a transfer partway through one) that staff would not even accept our calls after my kid said no contact and they would not provide the staff and doctors names so we couldn’t actually even share information. We couldn’t even share medication information or outpatient provider information.

Oof. I get it from their perspective since what is happening is very real to them, and of course HIPAA rules are there for a reason, but it's still so hard. Mine will talk to my husband but I am barred from contact for whatever reason. As a mom, it's really hard. We're on the third hospitalization but second facility, so our hope is that they can review last year's records for some sort of baseline.

We're living two lives right now; our younger kid is about to graduate from HS, going to the prom this weekend, very excited for a trip with friends this summer, moving across the country for school in the fall -- and then have all of this going on at the same time. Cosplaying a happy family is exhausting and we get to do it all weekend for a visit from elderly extended family who will not understand our situation or think that heavy application of prayer or organic vegetables will cure everything. We live in a really gossipy community and I know we are a topic of conversation. I feel so deeply for everyone here who is going through it; it's a lonely existence.

PP here. I totally get it about living a double life right down to prom this weekend. The loneliness is real. Fortunately we’re in a stable place but we’ve been here before so I know it can change in the blink of an eye. I hope you enjoy your weekend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP with 22yo son here. I can open my own form but for the life of me can't track it down on my own county's website. In CA it's called an "AB 1424 Form" and a lot of counties use the same one, like this:
https://docs.google.com/file/d/0B1mjz02FtuU_UGc3VWxjQ2pjRzg/edit?resourcekey=0-ENvwYqyhSvmidQKZQybLdA

My own county has what I think is a better form and I'll keep looking for it and will post it when I find it.

Sending virtual support to anyone going through this. It's brutal. Our son finally called us yesterday, after 5 days of being MIA in the system. So at least we know where he is. So hard.

TY for posting the link. Now trying to find if our state/county has a form. Being able to refer to this should help.

[Anonymous]

PP with the AB 1424 form.

It certainly can't hurt to complete it just to have on hand for your own documentation -- then maybe pass it along if the police or care team seem open to receiving it. I know my son wasn't/isn't in a headspace where he can tell anyone what meds he's tried, did they work, where/when he's been hospitalized. And if he doesn't authorize anyone to reach out to us, they'll never know these details that are so helpful in a crisis. Sigh...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP with the AB 1424 form.

It certainly can't hurt to complete it just to have on hand for your own documentation -- then maybe pass it along if the police or care team seem open to receiving it. I know my son wasn't/isn't in a headspace where he can tell anyone what meds he's tried, did they work, where/when he's been hospitalized. And if he doesn't authorize anyone to reach out to us, they'll never know these details that are so helpful in a crisis. Sigh...

Agree. Also know that some of these entities are just so damn rigid that if it is not “their” form, then they will dismiss it.