Couples gathering, am I overthinking this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Its 2024. No one is judging your marital status. Chances are the moms will be chatting in one spot and the dads in another. Have a great time.

Agreed. Be social! I'm not couple-y.

My husband and I made good friends with a divorced mom when our kids became Kindergarten friends. Our boys are still friends as seniors. Over time, she remarried. We have socially done things with exH because of kid dropoffs and also with newH when he was BF and now husband. It's not weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Go. The women will likely sit with the women and the men with the men.

This!! You are overthinking. Go and have fun!

[Anonymous]

Yup - sports team related social events are not couple-y.
Everyone will want to chat about the team, the coach, what school your kid goes to (if it’s a travel team), what other sports your kid plays.
It’s nice to get to know other parents - makes going to games and cheering for the team more fun.
I went to team gatherings with a handful of parents for years, many of whom I think were single or had spouses who never showed their faces at a practice or game.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Totally overthinking this. These events are not "coupley" at all. There will very likely be families where only one parent is attending. The couples won't be attached at the hip either. No one cares that you're a single parent.

It sounds like you're super self conscious about it, and sometimes that can make people read situations incorrectly. So I'd be cautious that people may not be judging you at all, but your self consciousness is making you think they are.

+1 go, no one cares!

It doesn't sound like some formal event anyway. Plenty of times even a married couple has one person stay home to watch a younger kid, or someone's away on work travel, etc..its big enough (not like a dinner out with 1-2 other couples) that it doesn't seem awkward at all.

[Anonymous]

I'm a single parent who also gets self conscious about being the odd mom out. If I want to go to an event, I go. If I don't, I don't. But kid activities really are more fun when you know the other parents a little more than just saying hi on the sidelines. A couple of my best mom friends are people I met through kid activities.

[Anonymous]

I've been a single parent for 10years but I never think of it that way. If they invite parents then I go because I am a parent Sounds like you can use some self esteem inner work. I know it can be hard but clearly you are strong! Just go and have fun. Single parents are always the coolest ones anyway

[Anonymous]

I am not a single mom but I go to these events solo because DH works evenings. I have not detected any judgement but I wear a wedding ring

[Anonymous]

It’s not a couples gathering. It’s just parents from the sports team.

[Anonymous]

Did they call it a "couples" gathering? If so, that's weird.

They probably meant "parents." Unless it's something totally different!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Go. The women will likely sit with the women and the men with the men.

This! Whenever I have been at any sports related event, the parents tend to divide along gender lines. Obviously, there may be two couples off to the side holding a conversation or a mom chatting with a few dads, but generally most of the moms end up hanging together. And at least half the parents come solo because someone is traveling or they have multiple kids and have to divide and conquer.

[Anonymous]

My husband and I hang out with a single mom. She’s great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was invited to a gathering with couples from my child’s sports team. I’m a single parent and I’m considering declining because I don’t want to be a 9th wheel. As far as I know, they’re not aware that I’m a single parent, but I don’t want it to mention it out of fear my kid and I will be judged. It happened with a previous team. I’m not sure what I should do. Am I overthinking this?

Hells no. Rare are the times both parents show up at my kids lax HH’s or games. Go!