How to be a helpful spouse

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You couldn't even take one week off?

OP here. Not at this point. We worked it out where I will be taking paternity leave once she goes back to work. I get 6 weeks off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let her focus on recovery and the baby and you handle everything else. Don't hover over her. Also, family help can be good but too much of it can be annoying.

OP here. I’ve let her decide on who and when to have them over. She has energy is the mornings but she’s in pain and wiped out by the afternoon. She will nap or just rest in bed while family members or I take care of the baby for the afternoon until I’m done working and able to be fully focus on baby and her 100%.

Ok a C-section takes 6 weeks recovery -+ new baby + hormones. Hire some things out? Let her rest and recover, both of you sleep when you can, enjoy new baby (also they cry a lot the first 6 weeks—the 4th trimester) then become so much easier. Congratulations you two! You sound like a wonderful partner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe help with tracking diapers and feedings. There are very good apps out there.

Youre doing well with making sure she has water and meals. Make sure she's getting a shower in

+1 to all of this!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you taking care of the pets? Are you doing all the laundry? Making and cleaning up from the meals? Handling mail and bills? Writing thank you notes for baby gifts you've gotten? Get the baby on your health insurance? Update your will to account for the baby? Restock the diaper changing station(s)?

Pretty sure people are forgiving if the thank you cards don't go out promptly.

It sounds like you are doing a great job! Just continue to listen to her and do what you are doing.

[Anonymous]

Mother’s Day is coming up! Her first one. So mark your calendar (and Father’s Day for you soon after). Congrats again. Take a rest now and again too!

[Anonymous]

You sound like a caring person and like you've got a handle on it.

She may go through some emotional moments due to hormones. Just be patient with it.

Best wishes to you and your family.

[Anonymous]

I was an emotional wreck after my not according to plan pregnancy and emergency c section. I would do everything physical around the house and listen no judgmentallly to her feelings, whatever they are. I understand paternity leave is very limited but she really can’t do much a week after a c section. I hope you are able to assist her whenever she needs. Otherwise strongly consider hiring help. I remember my husband going back to work about 2.5 weeks after my c section and I still couldn’t drive or pick things up off the floor. It was terrifying and stressful.

[Anonymous]

Be willing to be the voice that tells the family to go away.

Open your eyes and look around the house and then close your eyes and think about all the things that have to happen in a day and then do those things. You can definitely ask your wife what she needs, but if she's telling you stuff like run a load of laundry, you should have thought of that yourself.

[Anonymous]

My husband did all the diapers when he was not at work, including at night. I never had to think about restocking them or disposing them, and in the first weeks, I never even changed one. That was probably the most helpful physical thing.

Emotional things are like telling her specific ways she's beautiful. Being present and marveling at your baby together, sometimes without speaking. Be aware of post partum depression and watch out for the signs, but do not hover about her or ask her depression questionnaires.

Other things that were helpful: Smoothies and fresh pressed juice. Coffee table type books with lots of pictures to keep my interest when nursing but not keep me awake like the phone or TV/computer would. I used an old music stand to prop up the books and write a "breast friend" nursing pillow. Keeping the home neat and clean.