+1 |
If it’s the final straw, OP, what are you doing about it? |
I'd say Divorce him immediately, but you don't give the impression you want him happy. From “D”H perspective, it's obvious he craves misery: he is, after all, married to you. So is suppose the question is, what's meant my "final straw"? I don't see the problem here. |
NP, but your answer doesn’t track as OP was concerned about her paying for dinner vs him. |
It's a primary concern and focal point for most women. |
If you know how your husband is all you had to do was drive, park and remind him to check for his wallet.
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What? Money is his only redeeming quality of her spouse she can bring herself to mention. It is made plainly obvious: "I admit he’s good at his job and earns a lot of money, but that only goes so far". |
+1 Unfortunately, neither OP will pretend to love him nor she will leave him. She will continue to be disdainful and post on DCUM, while enjoying the fact that he is a high earner. Thankfully, for the rest of us normal people, OP's post is an eye-opener. It shines a light on our own behavior and prompts us to be mindful towards our spouse and not be like OP. |
According to your title - this behavior was the "final straw" for you. So, what are you going to do? Nothing? Then get a BOB. |
My husband is a super high earner, a really intelligent man but terrible at driving directions. I am always the one directing him when we are traveling someplace new. He is awesome at parallel parking though.
The point being, this is a very small thing in a marriage. The disdain you have for him is alarming and something he doesn’t deserve. I think you should go find your drywall dream guy. |
+1 Gold digger no longer enjoying the relationship? |
There are days that I inwardly curse DH's incompetence. It gets old and it's very tiring to live with.
But he also has many redeeming qualities, and when the moment of frustration passes I regain my equilibrium. If all OP could find redeeming about her H is he's a good earner, then I'd say this marriage is probably not long for the world. |
Wow! Why the disdain for people who “hang drywall”. It’s an honest living and a necessary job. |
OP, why does it not occur to you that possibly he is having cognitive issues--from normal aging, or possibly from other health issues--which should be checked out? At least to rule out any such issues? My first thought, if my DH consistently got lost (if he wasn't always that way, or if it were worsening), plus if he left important items like wallets or keys (and again, wasn't always like that), would be: "This is a change and probably needs looking at." And we'd talk about it and get him some evaluations, and a full checkup. But your focus is on being irritated and angry with him. If you actually love him, why not see these issues as a potential sign that someone you love may be struggling in ways which might be helped? I get it, the things you describe absolutely can be objectively irritating, especially if they keep happening. But it's the "keep happening" which should push you from "I'm mad at this" to "This might be part of some bigger issue we need evaluated." I do not get spouses who simply sit and stew about behaviors and choose anger over looking for a bigger picture, especially if this is a change happening to him over time. If he's always been forgetful, etc., I'm surprised you haven't thought about whether he has untreated ADD or whatever. (And high functioning at work does not mean he can't have ADD or other issues going on.) |
Can you step back from the profound irritation and objectively ask yourself if maybe you feel so strongly about the example you gave, because he embarrassed you in front of the friends who were visiting? Is the extreme vitriol you're feeling possibly compounded by the fact this all happened with "two dear friends" there to see him get lost, mess up parking, end up having to have one of those friends "fix" his parking problem? I'm not saying DH doesn't have an issue but perhaps your anger is burning so, so hot out of embarrassment, OP. And I'd try to see if there is some other problem with DH. Has he always been this challenged by directions, driving, parking, remembering wallets, etc.? |