I’m offended. Should I get over myself?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you think that’s “offensive” my neighbors will hire kids down the street for babysitting and complain about lack of babysitters when my kids are the same age as the kids down the street. Some people just don’t put two and two together. It’s OK, it’s not offensive just shake your head at the absurdity and do what I do and get over oneself.

It sounds like they were hinting and waiting for you to offer

[Anonymous]

I babysat babies as a 7th grader. Doesn't mean I'd hire a 7th grader to care for my own baby!

It wasn't a slight against your daughter. They have a preference for older babysitters, that's all. Maybe she can work for them in a year or two.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you think that’s “offensive” my neighbors will hire kids down the street for babysitting and complain about lack of babysitters when my kids are the same age as the kids down the street. Some people just don’t put two and two together. It’s OK, it’s not offensive just shake your head at the absurdity and do what I do and get over oneself.

It sounds like they were hinting and waiting for you to offer

Yeah, I wondered that too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Offended by what? They want someone older. A 13-14 year old is not mature or what they are looking for. They want a 16-17-18 year old. I would too. Your kid is not as mature as you think.

No sophomores are 14. The youngest would be turning 15. Your math is off. Mine turns 15 September of sophomore year.

+1 your math and judgement are both off

[Anonymous]

You are way out of line. They are looking for a high school student. If they said middle or Hs student and then rejected your daughter for some other reason, then sure, be offended. Maybe when your daughter is in high school in the fall, they will be open to hiring her. I would never hire a 13yo to babysit unless it was for like two hours during the day.

You seem overly invested in your daughters activities. Does she even want to babysit for this family??

[Anonymous]

No one I know, including myself, wanted a 13 year old as a babysitter. It's not an attack on your kid, and NO, a few minutes worth of observing them with younger kids is NOT reason to hire them. I have a teen DD who just turned 14 and will be in high school next year. I do not expect anyone to be interesting in babysitting services from her, even though she's mature and responsible *for her age*. I know, I have older kids who weren't as mature at the same age!

If the other neighbor was talking to you directly, she would probably have couched her refusal in more diplomatic terms.

The older neighbor is trying to help and doesn't realize norms have changed. She should not have reported this interaction to you, but then again, she's old and doesn't seem very bright.

Calm down and let it go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is weird that you are so offended by this. I doubt your neighbor understands much if anything yet about 8th-rising 9th. I haven't a clue what that means, but I don't have that aged kids.

They probably just think she's an 8th grader and that feels young to them. Nothing that has anything specifically to do with your DD.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you think that’s “offensive” my neighbors will hire kids down the street for babysitting and complain about lack of babysitters when my kids are the same age as the kids down the street. Some people just don’t put two and two together. It’s OK, it’s not offensive just shake your head at the absurdity and do what I do and get over oneself.

It sounds like they were hinting and waiting for you to offer

They were not.

[Anonymous]

I have an extremely mature 8th grader and a high school junior. The difference in maturity is night and day.

Don’t be offended.

[Anonymous]

Yes, you need to get over yourself.

Many 13 yo are mature and can handle it; many are not. The neighbor has no way of knowing if your DD is one of the mature ones or not. She doesn't want to spend the time vetting the candidates, so she just wants to go with older. Since your neighbor has never met your daughter, it's not a judgment of your daughter or you as her mother. It's just where she wants to draw the line.

[Anonymous]

You're offended on your daughter's behalf, but does she even care?

Also, nobody is thinking that deeply. Hmmm, let's see, it's April, and Larla is in 8th grade, so in about a month or so, she'll be done with middle school, and then in June, she'll technically be in high school. So, even though she's technically still in middle school, she could be considered older. Yeah, nobody is doing all that. She wants someone older than middle school age. There's nothing offensive or wrong about that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My older neighbor just approached me. I have no doubt she meant well and was just making conversation sans filter, but she told me that another neighbor on our small block, asked her if she knew of any good high-school aged babysitters, apparently they are looking for an occasional evening sitter or daytime helper for their 5yo. She said she immediately mentioned DD13/8th-rising 9th, and how she’s very mature and sweet with her grandkids. The neighbor told her no, they are looking for someone more mature, in high school. My neighbor told me I should introduce DD, maybe they will change their mind.

I’m sort of offended on DD’s behalf. In a month she will be a high schooler, and in a month from that, 14. I mean, some sophomores start the year at 14. She’s a neighbor recommended by another neighbor who has seen her interact with young kids. Now I’m irrationally angry at these neighbors and even though I know it’s not warranted, I can’t help it! How would you feel?

You are ridiculous! 99% of women who post on DCUM would have the same reaction to a 13 yr. old babysitter. Take your daughter over, introduce her and get her "audition" but paid.

[Anonymous]

OP, I have a kid who's the same age, also very mature and good with little kids, but this would not bother me in the slightest. Their preference is perfectly reasonable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're offended on your daughter's behalf, but does she even care?

Also, nobody is thinking that deeply. Hmmm, let's see, it's April, and Larla is in 8th grade, so in about a month or so, she'll be done with middle school, and then in June, she'll technically be in high school. So, even though she's technically still in middle school, she could be considered older. Yeah, nobody is doing all that. She wants someone older than middle school age. There's nothing offensive or wrong about that.

Thank you for taking the time to narrate this for OP, who is blinded by love.

[Anonymous]

It’s gonna be a hard, long road for you, lady, if you take stuff like this personally