Was I rude or did he deserve it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think he deserved it, but you don't always get to give what people deserve when those people are your boss.

In the future, when you're saying no NEVER give a reason why. "Sorry, I can't." "Sorry, that won't work for me." If some jerk says "Yeah but why?" just smile at them like they're stupid and say "That won't work for me." If they press, say "Really, take the hint." Or walk away. Or both!

Nah, we should stop letting people get away with rude behavior just because of their title. If OP is in a tight financial situation and can't afford losing their job I would've set aside a few minutes to let him know that the comment was inappropriate while avoiding drama in front of the co-workers, otherwise they gave him exactly what he was asking for.

1+

They keep doing it because they know they can get away with it. Given the boss is ashamed, I'd assume he'll think twice of making a similar comment again.

I'm with you! The behavior will not change, unless the behavior is addressed.

[Anonymous]

This sounds like they both should have been jokes and you should have ended the conversation on a laugh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This sounds like they both should have been jokes and you should have ended the conversation on a laugh.

+1 sounded like light-hearted joking to me, but I guess not!

[Anonymous]

Your answer was good but you said it in front of other employees which is a bad idea.
Probably you should apologize .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This sounds like they both should have been jokes and you should have ended the conversation on a laugh.

OP here. This wasn't a joke and if it was I didn't find it funny. Him and all the co-workers that were there live in houses. I'm the only one who lives in a small condo. Although that particular fact wasn't known, everyone knew that I've been the only one working in our house since my husband got injured 3 years ago. My boss knows how much I make and he could have easily figured out that the situation in our home isn't good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your answer was good but you said it in front of other employees which is a bad idea.
Probably you should apologize .

I mean, he also made that comment in front of other employees which is highly unprofessional, especial with the new info that OP provided.

[Anonymous]

My grandma always says....two wrongs don't make a right, but they do keep a MFer in check. Good job OP!

[Anonymous]

What he said was offensive and shaming. He's avoiding you because he knows he skates close to something could be reportable to HR.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What he said was offensive and shaming. He's avoiding you because he knows he skates close to something could be reportable to HR.

I agree with this take. He was a bully and it’s reportable if it made you uncomfortable. This is like textbook hostile work environment stuff.

[Anonymous]

You were both unprofessional. But you bringing up your compensation in that context was more unprofessional. When they go low you go high. Otherwise it’s a race to the bottom. It’s clear you don’t respect him as a boss. You should look for another job,

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You were both unprofessional. But you bringing up your compensation in that context was more unprofessional. When they go low you go high. Otherwise it’s a race to the bottom. It’s clear you don’t respect him as a boss. You should look for another job,

I wouldn't blame OP for being unprofessional. He knowingly touched a topic that's potentially sensitive for OP given her situation. I'm not sure I could respect someone like that either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Both shouldn’t have said what they said… They’re both in the wrong.

The boss was being a Richard. The OP just stood for themselves.
I'd understand the wrongness if they went for his physical appearance or his work performance, but they didn't do that.
The boss was really out of line especially when he doesn't know OP's situation.
I would've done the same.

I said the Boss was wrong for what he said. She’s wrong for saying it in an open setting. That’s a conversation she should have had one on one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your answer was good but you said it in front of other employees which is a bad idea.
Probably you should apologize .

I disagree- OP defended herself to a comment made in front of said coworkers, he deserved the response.
Frankly, I’m surprised so many people think OP needs to apologize.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Both shouldn’t have said what they said… They’re both in the wrong.

The boss was being a Richard. The OP just stood for themselves.
I'd understand the wrongness if they went for his physical appearance or his work performance, but they didn't do that.
The boss was really out of line especially when he doesn't know OP's situation.
I would've done the same.

I said the Boss was wrong for what he said. She’s wrong for saying it in an open setting. That’s a conversation she should have had one on one.

Why should OP’s response be one on one if the boss shamed her in front of others?

[Anonymous]

Boss was definitely inappropriate. “When are you getting a proper house” - seriously? It’s a put-down plain and simple. OP’s answer was … accurate. She could have said “when my income allows for it.” Same message.
But this is not a question that anyone should be asked or expected to answer. Boss should have apologized.
And he should have rented a proper space for the event.