Those of you who stay together for the kids, how do you cope with the resentment?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Team DH. I don't think I'd be able to put up with the OP, either.

Op reminds me of my mom. Shocker.... I'm not close with her. It's a miserable way to grow up

[Anonymous]

Leave but he had it under control and did not need you to be involved. If the party ran too late you should not have let her go.

[Anonymous]

Why is everyone ignoring the fact that OPs husband was a rude jerk? Say what you want about her micromanagement and inserting herself, and etc., but none of that excuses his reaction. And don't get started on with he is fed up and blah blah blah. He disrespected her and did it in front of his daughter and a stranger. Period.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is everyone ignoring the fact that OPs husband was a rude jerk? Say what you want about her micromanagement and inserting herself, and etc., but none of that excuses his reaction. And don't get started on with he is fed up and blah blah blah. He disrespected her and did it in front of his daughter and a stranger. Period.

I agree with what you're saying. But I also have a mom like OP and after a while, your knee jerk reaction is just immediate defensiveness because of her control and micro management. It took a lot of therapy for me to react differently

[Anonymous]

Why are you both so selfish to put your kid through this?! Divorce and live apart.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand how this is "for the sake of the kids". This sounds miserable for a kid to grow up in and sets all of the wrong examples.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is everyone ignoring the fact that OPs husband was a rude jerk? Say what you want about her micromanagement and inserting herself, and etc., but none of that excuses his reaction. And don't get started on with he is fed up and blah blah blah. He disrespected her and did it in front of his daughter and a stranger. Period.

I agree with what you're saying. But I also have a mom like OP and after a while, your knee jerk reaction is just immediate defensiveness because of her control and micro management. It took a lot of therapy for me to react differently

*Exactly*. The DH should run! The OP isn't going to get better.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'd pick your battles.

The drive home, not one.

Daughter maintaining a healthy BMI, pick that one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand how this is "for the sake of the kids". This sounds miserable for a kid to grow up in and sets all of the wrong examples.

Money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your daughter is siding with her dad because you are difficult to deal with.

Don’t think that’s the reason.

Teens can often side with the more loosy goosy, lenient “fun” parent. The one that’s all about pizza, pasta, movies, late nights.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm team xDH too. OP should think about how to self-manage her own boundaries.

OP here. For those of you who complain of me micromanaging the situation for calling to suggest a meeting spot (that the friend's parents asked for): i literally just wanted to help, because my husband needed it. For context, he is so bad with maps, that for six months after my daughter started middle school, on the days when he would pick her up, he called me every time to guide him there while he was driving. We live in an area with bad reception, and his GPS typically doesn't work there.

[Anonymous]

Sounds abusive.
Staying together for the kids only works of there's low conflict. DH is medicated, separate bedrooms, separate social lives, and i make plans to be put off the house with the kids when he is there. That's how i do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds abusive.
Staying together for the kids only works of there's low conflict. DH is medicated, separate bedrooms, separate social lives, and i make plans to be put off the house with the kids when he is there. That's how i do it.

and I make plans to be OUT OF the house with the kids when he is there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is everyone ignoring the fact that OPs husband was a rude jerk? Say what you want about her micromanagement and inserting herself, and etc., but none of that excuses his reaction. And don't get started on with he is fed up and blah blah blah. He disrespected her and did it in front of his daughter and a stranger. Period.

I agree with what you're saying. But I also have a mom like OP and after a while, your knee jerk reaction is just immediate defensiveness because of her control and micro management. It took a lot of therapy for me to react differently

*Exactly*. The DH should run! The OP isn't going to get better.

OP should run too. The DH isn't going to get better.

[Anonymous]

You are worried about missing your daughter’s bedtime by a few minutes and your daughter is 13?