When did your DC get a smartphone?

[Anonymous]

Mine got one on her 13th birthday, when she was in 7th grade. The plan was to wait until 8th, which is what I’d recommend, but it’s hard hard hard. She was pretty much the only kid in any of her friend/sport groups without one.

Delay as long as you can but it ain’t easy.

Def don’t allow social media to start or avoid it completely in middle school if you can. Middle school is the absolute worst. Kids are mean and so awful to each other. I can’t wait to get her out of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mine got one on her 13th birthday, when she was in 7th grade. The plan was to wait until 8th, which is what I’d recommend, but it’s hard hard hard. She was pretty much the only kid in any of her friend/sport groups without one.

Delay as long as you can but it ain’t easy.

Def don’t allow social media to start or avoid it completely in middle school if you can. Middle school is the absolute worst. Kids are mean and so awful to each other. I can’t wait to get her out of it.

Agree completely with: avoid social media!!

The WORST is probably Snap or SnapChat. Snap is perfectly designed to hide bullying, child-porn (nudes of middle-schoolers IS child porn), and trafficking in vapes, marijuana, underage-alcohol, fentanyl, etc.

TikTok is horribly addictive.

Insta or Instagram is closely associated with teen suicide, particularly among girls.

Do not allow it. Remember, the phone belongs to YOU. Your name is on the bill; you pay for the bill. It is your phone.

[Anonymous]

9th.

[Anonymous]

https://www.cnn.com/2024/04/16/health/cell-phones-jonathan-haidt-wellness/index.html

This author recommends holding off until high school.

[Anonymous]

Summer before 8th grade.

[Anonymous]

APS first day of middle school, which here is 6th grade. Yes, everyone has them.

[Anonymous]

We did beginning of 6th but now the trend actually seems later.

One piece of advice, you can always loosen up on your restrictions or rules but it's MUCH harder to become more strict. So whatever you want to do, contract, rules, timing, limits, do it at the start.

[Anonymous]

My oldest got theirs in 6th grade. Now on 8th grade. Still no social media. Still not allowed to take it in their room at night. Every text goes to my phone as well.

I only wish we waited because the younger siblings won’t be as responsible. Telling them they have to wait til 7th or 8th.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:APS first day of middle school, which here is 6th grade. Yes, everyone has them.

Everyone vapes too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My oldest got theirs in 6th grade. Now on 8th grade. Still no social media. Still not allowed to take it in their room at night. Every text goes to my phone as well.

I only wish we waited because the younger siblings won’t be as responsible. Telling them they have to wait til 7th or 8th.

How does every text go to your phone as well?

[Anonymous]

Waiting till 8th, at least, was the plan. Now that 7th grade is almost over, I am tempted to wait longer. The smart watch is sufficient so far. Borrowed a locked down phone for a couple weeks when the watch died and it was crazy how much attention span shrunk and anxiety climbed being on a device where texting etc. was much more convenient.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi OP,

Please take a look - even a brief look - at this science ( especially the graph on page 5):

https://sapienlabs.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/Sapien-Labs-Age-of-First-Smartphone-and-Mental-Wellbeing-Outcomes.pdf

I would put off getting your child a phone for as long as possible.

If they really need it, buy them a flip-phone.

The mental-illness cause by phones is so disturbing! The chart is really eye-opening.

[Anonymous]

6th grade when they started walking to school.

[Anonymous]

We're planning to do a smart watch for middle school and get her a phone for high school.

[Anonymous]

I got my 5th grader an Apple Watch for Christmas. He begged for one. Huge mistake. I took it away after two months. He was obsessed, constantly staring down at his wrist, and I became alarmed reading what he and his friends were texting. Nothing world-ending, but still sad...calling people names, talking about kids, dramatically talking about romantic relationships. Honestly, kid seemed a bit relieved when I took it away. He has asked a few times when he can have it back and I've said, not for many years. He said I feel left out. But he has great friends, plays with them all the time, gets invited to all the parties and is involved in sports and band so he isn't left out, really. He has nodded in seeming understanding when I've said, "I don't think the watch was good for you or your heart. You're not ready for it."

I got my older son a phone at the end of sixth grade, on his 12th birthday. He has handled it ok, although I'm still annoyed by the amount of time he spends on it. I set it up to shut down at 9 pm every night and limited his time on social media to one hour a day. That helped. I force both my kids to be active (I think they would be naturally, but I overschedule them) because I can't stand them being glued to tech.