Do you do anything FUN without your children?

[Anonymous]

Hell yeah!

DH and I travel on our own twice a year (long weekends) and grab a night at a local hotel every few months or so. The key to it all -- our fabulous parents! They're not local, but they visit often and love to babysit so we can get a little alone time. So grateful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, does the other mom work? Are her kids very young? I've had friends who really seem starved for time with their kids, esp in the early years. Due to work demands and commutes they just never feel like there is enough time. Just like any relationships, I think people vary with how much time is pleasurable to them. Some people like a lot of time with others, some like to be alone a lot. Esp if moms had a lot of "me" time before they had kids, that might really be their focus for a few years and if they are all happy, that's great. I think if she chooses to spend her time that way it's fine and just as valid as anyone else's choice. If she was a homebody without kids you wouldn't think she should be going out to bars every night. If she is like that for 18 years, doesn't feel she "deserves" time for herself, etc, that is extreme. I'm wondering if her statement made you question you own use of time? If you like to go out and she likes to stay home with little people I'd chalk it up to being different, not likely to be close and move on.

Not at all. I work, I spend most of my non-working hours with my children and occasionally I make time for myself. This thread really isn't about me at all which is why I refrained from mentioning my own activities in the first post. I'm not judging her I was just surprised and wanted to get an idea of how much or little other moms do for themselves for comparison. Her youngest is in high school.

I'm the earlier poster you quoted and that age of youngest puts a very different spin on things. Yikes. I feel a bit sorry for her kids who must feel some pressure being her entertainment, and I fear she will have a rough transition when they have all left home. The moms I was refering to that I know have infants and toddlers, sometimes things get a little out of whack in the early years. Maybe you could invite her to a movie or to join your book group? Perhaps she is really shy or introverted?

I will invite her.

[Anonymous]

I'm a single mom, so I do fun stuff without my kid every chance I get. I do dinners with my girlfriends at a wide range of restaurants. I'll go to happy hour or I'll check out a live band if I have a weekend night off from my daughter. Occasionally I get a whole weekend and I'll go to the beach, and if I have a longer time away, I might take a longer trip. (going to Vegas this Xmas since I don't get my daughter this Xmas.) Sometimes I'll go to a Nats game or occasionally a Caps or Skins game, but less often than I did before I had my daughter. I have one or two black-tie functions a year, and some charity functions. On a weekend day off, I sometimes play volleyball, take a yoga class or play 9 holes of golf or hit the driving range. So yeah, I have a lot of fun without my daughter. Usually she's with her dad or her grandparents when I'm "having kid-free fun" but occasionally I'll get a babysitter since I figure she'd be sleeping anyway, not spending quality time with me. (or if it's a kid-free wedding.)

[Anonymous]

You sound like a good egg OP, I'm the PP who suggested she might be shy. Sometimes SAH parents seem to get a little "lost" as the kids age. Happened to a SAHD I know too. I'll bet that she would enjoy getting out and her kids would be thrilled that mom is "getting a life" as mine so often advise, lol.

[Anonymous]

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/style/museums/photogallery/chuckclose/chuckclose3.htm

Sidetracking from the main topic, but DH, DC (1 yr old), and I had a great time at this exhibit at the Corcoran. It was small and we could step outside to the atrium when DC needed a break. It was a fascinating exhibit which shared the details of the many artistic techniques that Chuck Close uses (etching, stencils, handmade paper). The museum is free on Saturdays through Labor Day.

Just wanted to offer a fun option for both groups -- people who can get out without the kids AND people who bring them along.

[Anonymous]

Hmmm....that could be me. Here's the thing...DH and I waited a REALLY long time (7 years of marriage) before we even considered starting a family. We traveled like mad, partied like mad...on every continent...took a 1 year work sabbatical...to what else...sight-see and party. We also worked just as hard in between all of the fun to establish our careers & invest $. I really felt strongly about getting things out of my system...making a lot of and establishing my career pre-kids so I could focus nearly 100% on them when I finally had them.

So- I really don't have this driving urge to get away from my kids like some of the other parents I've met. I am friends with one mom and dad that are constantly shuffling the kids off and constantly trying to find hours of alone time (each of them daily). They did have their kids younger than us (by 5-7 years) and a lot of their 'prime' was spent child-rearing..now it's like they are making up for lost time and the kids are holding them back.

I do exercise alone for 1.5 5X a week or so..we do the occassional dinner/bar/club thing (while kids overnight at my parents) about every 6 weeks. Get a babysitter maybe once or twice/month for dinner. We have taken 2 longer trips without them in the last 2 years to attend friends' wedding in Europe...but on a whole we are pretty much together.

I know in a short time my kids are going to want to be with their friends more than us...so right now I am loving how much they are loving being with us. It is quite possible your friend is very happy and extremely content with the way things are. I know I am....but I also am looking forward to a time when kids are older and easier to leave with a reliable relative for more fun out. We do have our own dinners after the kids are in bed, etc.

But- I don't feel like I am missing out in any way and maybe she doesn't either..

[Anonymous]

Go to concerts and open mic nights with the girls

[Anonymous]

It's a choice, it's always a choice.

"But- I don't feel like I am missing out in any way and maybe she doesn't either.. "

Ja, but do you talk about anything besides the kids?