Pay for daughter and her boyfriend?

[Anonymous]

When I first met my GF's parents at 25, I took them out to dinner and paid for everything.

I guess because they are both "grad students" that you should expect to pay.

I personally think it's a bad look for the new BF to not offer to do something (maybe take you out for dessert or coffee).

I hate the "grad school" excuse for anything...but it is what it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t be cheap.you are hosting. How do you not know what to do here?!

It is a new experience.

I did not know if it would threaten his manhood somehow if I paid for him (like a child).

Consider posting when you can be helpful (rather than judgemental).

What does the bolded mean? Have you never had an adult guest whom you hosted?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t be cheap.you are hosting. How do you not know what to do here?!

It is a new experience.

I did not know if it would threaten his manhood somehow if I paid for him (like a child).

Consider posting when you can be helpful (rather than judgemental).

What does the bolded mean? Have you never had an adult guest whom you hosted?

When I have adult houseguests (ie peers), I pay for the food we eat at home, but do not feel that I have to pay for all meals when we are doing tourist stuff in town.

[Anonymous]

I think you pay for both or neither.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t be cheap.you are hosting. How do you not know what to do here?!

It is a new experience.

I did not know if it would threaten his manhood somehow if I paid for him (like a child).

Consider posting when you can be helpful (rather than judgemental).

What does the bolded mean? Have you never had an adult guest whom you hosted?

When I have adult houseguests (ie peers), I pay for the food we eat at home, but do not feel that I have to pay for all meals when we are doing tourist stuff in town.

Agreed. Adult houseguest, food at home only. Kids and their bf/gf, you pay for all. But as someone else said, the bf should definitely offer to pay for something, even if it's a Starbucks.

[Anonymous]

When my husband and I were first married and went out to eat with his dad, he would cover the check at a restaurant and we would offer to cover the tip. Then as we got older and earned more money we would usually split the check.

[Anonymous]

Oh don't be so tight. Pay for them both and let them feel taken care of by you.

[Anonymous]

What do you think he is going to order? I'm sure he has a card and will whip it out.
My 17-year old has a card for himself and occasions when everyone stares at the ceiling and waits for someone else to pay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter will be visiting this weekend with her new (and first ) boyfriend. They are both grad students, in their twenties.

My question is, when we are down in DC together, do I pay for both of them? (I would normally pay for her). Thanks.

Would you pay if he was her best friend? Same rule applies. However, there is no absolute right or wrong here.

[Anonymous]

Guess my experience is different. Oftentimes when visiting parents and going out to eat, we pay as a ty for the stay/hosting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter will be visiting this weekend with her new (and first ) boyfriend. They are both grad students, in their twenties.

My question is, when we are down in DC together, do I pay for both of them? (I would normally pay for her). Thanks.

First boyfriend and she is a grad student? Presumably, she would be late 20’s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter will be visiting this weekend with her new (and first ) boyfriend. They are both grad students, in their twenties.

My question is, when we are down in DC together, do I pay for both of them? (I would normally pay for her). Thanks.

First boyfriend and she is a grad student? Presumably, she would be late 20’s.

She is in her mid 20’s, but yeah, that has been her trajectory. It is fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter will be visiting this weekend with her new (and first ) boyfriend. They are both grad students, in their twenties.

My question is, when we are down in DC together, do I pay for both of them? (I would normally pay for her). Thanks.

First boyfriend and she is a grad student? Presumably, she would be late 20’s.

She is in her mid 20’s, but yeah, that has been her trajectory. It is fine.

I may be fine, it may not be. As the mom, you probably don’t see some social issue with her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter will be visiting this weekend with her new (and first ) boyfriend. They are both grad students, in their twenties.

My question is, when we are down in DC together, do I pay for both of them? (I would normally pay for her). Thanks.

First boyfriend and she is a grad student? Presumably, she would be late 20’s.

She is in her mid 20’s, but yeah, that has been her trajectory. It is fine.

First bf at this age? What has she been doing? Is she neurotypical?
DP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter will be visiting this weekend with her new (and first ) boyfriend. They are both grad students, in their twenties.

My question is, when we are down in DC together, do I pay for both of them? (I would normally pay for her). Thanks.

First boyfriend and she is a grad student? Presumably, she would be late 20’s.

She is in her mid 20’s, but yeah, that has been her trajectory. It is fine.

I may be fine, it may not be. As the mom, you probably don’t see some social issue with her.

It is not something a parent can control.