Sophomore in college feels sad/alone

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most college students these days, if they aren't in Greek Life or varsity athletes, don't "find their people" in college. It's just the nature of living as a young adult these days -- a sense of community and in-group belonging is much lower these days.

That’s so false.

My kid has friends from both her majors, her brownstone dorm, a couple clubs and her HomeState club. Plus her scholarship friend from freshman year was neighbors with Italians in the soccer team and that’s a super big welcoming friend group.

You do not need to play college sports or join a sorority.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can she study abroad next year? Won’t matter that she has few friends at her home school and can be a terrific experience.

Then she just has senior year and she’s done.

I love this idea.

My son did just this after never finding his people. He spent his last year in Tokyo, has since gotten a great job there and is LOVING it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most college students these days, if they aren't in Greek Life or varsity athletes, don't "find their people" in college. It's just the nature of living as a young adult these days -- a sense of community and in-group belonging is much lower these days.

That’s so false.

My kid has friends from both her majors, her brownstone dorm, a couple clubs and her HomeState club. Plus her scholarship friend from freshman year was neighbors with Italians in the soccer team and that’s a super big welcoming friend group.

You do not need to play college sports or join a sorority.

You just gave a sample size of one - your DDks experience- to try to disprove that a large population of college students and the general public feel loneliness. You are wrong. People are more lonely than ever.

In a Gallup poll specifically of college students, which was released in August, 39 percent said they had experienced loneliness the previous day. While it wasn’t the top concern for students—that appeared to be stress, which 66 percent of students reported experiencing the previous day—loneliness ranked above sadness (36 percent) and anger (25 percent).

https://www.insidehighered.com/news/students/physical-mental-health/2023/11/08/new-epidemic-gripping-college-campuses-loneliness

[Anonymous]

I wasn’t truly happy in college until my junior year. It took a long time to find my people. I just kept joining things. And I went abroad and then met my future husband. It’s not as automatic for everyone. I hope your dd finds her way soon, but do assure her that she isn’t alone and nothing is wrong with her.

[Anonymous]

Has she tried Tinder?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most college students these days, if they aren't in Greek Life or varsity athletes, don't "find their people" in college. It's just the nature of living as a young adult these days -- a sense of community and in-group belonging is much lower these days.

That’s so false.

My kid has friends from both her majors, her brownstone dorm, a couple clubs and her HomeState club. Plus her scholarship friend from freshman year was neighbors with Italians in the soccer team and that’s a super big welcoming friend group.

You do not need to play college sports or join a sorority.

You just gave a sample size of one - your DDks experience- to try to disprove that a large population of college students and the general public feel loneliness. You are wrong. People are more lonely than ever.

In a Gallup poll specifically of college students, which was released in August, 39 percent said they had experienced loneliness the previous day. While it wasn’t the top concern for students—that appeared to be stress, which 66 percent of students reported experiencing the previous day—loneliness ranked above sadness (36 percent) and anger (25 percent).

https://www.insidehighered.com/news/students/physical-mental-health/2023/11/08/new-epidemic-gripping-college-campuses-loneliness[/quote

Stat is useless without historical trend data

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most college students these days, if they aren't in Greek Life or varsity athletes, don't "find their people" in college. It's just the nature of living as a young adult these days -- a sense of community and in-group belonging is much lower these days.

That’s so false.

My kid has friends from both her majors, her brownstone dorm, a couple clubs and her HomeState club. Plus her scholarship friend from freshman year was neighbors with Italians in the soccer team and that’s a super big welcoming friend group.

You do not need to play college sports or join a sorority.

You just gave a sample size of one - your DDks experience- to try to disprove that a large population of college students and the general public feel loneliness. You are wrong. People are more lonely than ever.

In a Gallup poll specifically of college students, which was released in August, 39 percent said they had experienced loneliness the previous day. While it wasn’t the top concern for students—that appeared to be stress, which 66 percent of students reported experiencing the previous day—loneliness ranked above sadness (36 percent) and anger (25 percent).

https://www.insidehighered.com/news/students/physical-mental-health/2023/11/08/new-epidemic-gripping-college-campuses-loneliness

This.

PP, I'm glad that your DD has found herself a great community in college. But a historically high percent of college students (40% according to this poll but much higher according to some of the other articles I'm reading) are feeling lonely, isolated, and without community.

I'm a college professor and I see this all the time.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes you have people to do things with but its only due to proximity or circumstance to survive, not the people you would pick by choice.

[Anonymous]

Go visit.

[Anonymous]

Study abroad is a great idea. A whole new segmented community!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can she study abroad next year? Won’t matter that she has few friends at her home school and can be a terrific experience.

Then she just has senior year and she’s done.

I love this idea.

This could be great as long as she’s otherwise stable.

[Anonymous]

Op here I agree study abroad would be great but unfortunately, it’s a little difficult with her major. I don’t think it’s going to happen but a great idea…

[Anonymous]

I would encourage her to take some social risks. See if a classmate wants to grab lunch after class. Ask if she can sit at an occupied table at the library. Sign up for the outdoor club and strike up conversations during hikes. Consider a job off campus and make non-school friends.

[Anonymous]

I could have writeen this post about my son. I spoke with him last night and while he has some freinds, he doesn't feel close to anyone and is lonely. Several of my mom friends have said the same about their sophomores. I don't know if it's their year in school or just kids this age in general, but I think many struggle to connect socially even when involved with ECs with like minded young adults. We have goteen my son a 'social coach' (okay, a therapist) to help him feel more confident putting himself out there and connecting. Seems crazy something like that is needed, but between screens and covid I think they've lost a good part of the opportunity to figure this out as kids. I just don't want him to be so sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I could have writeen this post about my son. I spoke with him last night and while he has some freinds, he doesn't feel close to anyone and is lonely. Several of my mom friends have said the same about their sophomores. I don't know if it's their year in school or just kids this age in general, but I think many struggle to connect socially even when involved with ECs with like minded young adults. We have goteen my son a 'social coach' (okay, a therapist) to help him feel more confident putting himself out there and connecting. Seems crazy something like that is needed, but between screens and covid I think they've lost a good part of the opportunity to figure this out as kids. I just don't want him to be so sad.

NP here. My daughter is a sophomore in college and feels the same way. And she's very involved in a litany of activities at her college (club sport, music ensemble, an research job at a big lab)