Right to resent MIL's guest list intrusion?

[Anonymous]

Does your DH have any full siblings? If so, are they invited?

[Anonymous]

You host, you decide the guest list. Your husband needs to be on the same team with you and speak to her. If he isn't on the same team, he can do the cooking and prep. If she wants certain people, then she can host and prep next year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Invite them or don't host.

That's absurd. You're saying my young son can't have a nice easter (or whatever holiday) at home with his grandparents without having the whole extended clan of people who barely know his name? MIL would give us just as much of a hard time if we declined to come to something she hosted, or if we just didn't invite her or any of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We're hosting Easter brunch this year and MIL is being pushy about including my spouse's (adult) step sibblings. Neither my spouse nor I like the step sibblings and they don't particularly seem to like us either (so hopefully they just won't come). I just feel like if we're hosting we should be able to decide the guest list and if she doesn't like it she doesn't have to come. But we'll probably just do it anyway. Not thrilled. Mostly just venting.

I mean, I can understand where she is coming from. But what do you mean when you say she's being pushy? She asked to invite them and... then what?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does your DH have any full siblings? If so, are they invited?

Yes, one sister, but she is staying home and doing her own thing. Which is unfortunate since she's the only other one with a young child and I thought it would've been fun to have the cousins together.

[Anonymous]

People who are saying that OP is rude need to stand down. Last time I checked, guests don’t get arbitrarily decide that they would like to six additional people. If MIL really wants everyone together, she can host a separate event with everyone at a different time. She can have a brunch the day before and invite everyone she likes. Or if she really wants to be with the stepchildren, she can decline OP’s invite and host the six on her own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We're hosting Easter brunch this year and MIL is being pushy about including my spouse's (adult) step sibblings. Neither my spouse nor I like the step sibblings and they don't particularly seem to like us either (so hopefully they just won't come). I just feel like if we're hosting we should be able to decide the guest list and if she doesn't like it she doesn't have to come. But we'll probably just do it anyway. Not thrilled. Mostly just venting.

I mean, I can understand where she is coming from. But what do you mean when you say she's being pushy? She asked to invite them and... then what?

She asked spouse if they were coming. Spouse deflected till she directly asked if they were invited, and then got upset when the answer was no. Spouse doesn't do well with anyone being upset so wants to just invite to keep the peace and just hope they don't show.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Invite them or don't host.

Shut up

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We're hosting Easter brunch this year and MIL is being pushy about including my spouse's (adult) step sibblings. Neither my spouse nor I like the step sibblings and they don't particularly seem to like us either (so hopefully they just won't come). I just feel like if we're hosting we should be able to decide the guest list and if she doesn't like it she doesn't have to come. But we'll probably just do it anyway. Not thrilled. Mostly just venting.

I mean, I can understand where she is coming from. But what do you mean when you say she's being pushy? She asked to invite them and... then what?

She asked spouse if they were coming. Spouse deflected till she directly asked if they were invited, and then got upset when the answer was no. Spouse doesn't do well with anyone being upset so wants to just invite to keep the peace and just hope they don't show.

But what do you all normally do? If the Easter tradition is that everyone gets together and you've decided to only invite half the family then you're putting her in an awkward position. Maybe hosting the family isn't for you if you want to draw lines in sand and force the grandparents to choose. So much for peace and renewal and the spirit of Easter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We're hosting Easter brunch this year and MIL is being pushy about including my spouse's (adult) step sibblings. Neither my spouse nor I like the step sibblings and they don't particularly seem to like us either (so hopefully they just won't come). I just feel like if we're hosting we should be able to decide the guest list and if she doesn't like it she doesn't have to come. But we'll probably just do it anyway. Not thrilled. Mostly just venting.

I mean, I can understand where she is coming from. But what do you mean when you say she's being pushy? She asked to invite them and... then what?

She asked spouse if they were coming. Spouse deflected till she directly asked if they were invited, and then got upset when the answer was no. Spouse doesn't do well with anyone being upset so wants to just invite to keep the peace and just hope they don't show.

But what do you all normally do? If the Easter tradition is that everyone gets together and you've decided to only invite half the family then you're putting her in an awkward position. Maybe hosting the family isn't for you if you want to draw lines in sand and force the grandparents to choose. So much for peace and renewal and the spirit of Easter.

This. If they are always included you can't just decide you're hosting this year so you can cut off the people you don't care for. I mean you can but that's incredibly rude. If the family is not typically all together then MIL is being obnoxious expecting you to invite them if she doesn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Invite them or don't host.

That's absurd. You're saying my young son can't have a nice easter (or whatever holiday) at home with his grandparents without having the whole extended clan of people who barely know his name? MIL would give us just as much of a hard time if we declined to come to something she hosted, or if we just didn't invite her or any of them.

Yes, he doesn't give a shit about your Easter other than the sweets the easter bunny brings or the eggs he "hunts." This is all you. And, again, you're just not a nice person. Your MIL is inclusive of all her family. You are not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We're hosting Easter brunch this year and MIL is being pushy about including my spouse's (adult) step sibblings. Neither my spouse nor I like the step sibblings and they don't particularly seem to like us either (so hopefully they just won't come). I just feel like if we're hosting we should be able to decide the guest list and if she doesn't like it she doesn't have to come. But we'll probably just do it anyway. Not thrilled. Mostly just venting.

I mean, I can understand where she is coming from. But what do you mean when you say she's being pushy? She asked to invite them and... then what?

She asked spouse if they were coming. Spouse deflected till she directly asked if they were invited, and then got upset when the answer was no. Spouse doesn't do well with anyone being upset so wants to just invite to keep the peace and just hope they don't show.

But what do you all normally do? If the Easter tradition is that everyone gets together and you've decided to only invite half the family then you're putting her in an awkward position. Maybe hosting the family isn't for you if you want to draw lines in sand and force the grandparents to choose. So much for peace and renewal and the spirit of Easter.

This. If they are always included you can't just decide you're hosting this year so you can cut off the people you don't care for. I mean you can but that's incredibly rude. If the family is not typically all together then MIL is being obnoxious expecting you to invite them if she doesn't.

Easter is not usually a big thing on either side (most of us aren’t even Christian). Some years we have big gatherings (if mil or my mom host), other years nothing at all, sometimes just a few people.I was excited ab hosting this year bc my son just turned 3 and he’s finally starting to get into holidays. The steps barely acknowledge his existence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Invite them or don't host.

That's absurd. You're saying my young son can't have a nice easter (or whatever holiday) at home with his grandparents without having the whole extended clan of people who barely know his name? MIL would give us just as much of a hard time if we declined to come to something she hosted, or if we just didn't invite her or any of them.

Yes, he doesn't give a shit about your Easter other than the sweets the easter bunny brings or the eggs he "hunts." This is all you. And, again, you're just not a nice person. Your MIL is inclusive of all her family. You are not.

She doesn’t invite the step sons’ mother to her gatherings? What about that poor woman having to spend holidays wo her sons? One of the steps also didn’t invite us to their wedding. Bc we’re not actually family. And that’s fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We're hosting Easter brunch this year and MIL is being pushy about including my spouse's (adult) step sibblings. Neither my spouse nor I like the step sibblings and they don't particularly seem to like us either (so hopefully they just won't come). I just feel like if we're hosting we should be able to decide the guest list and if she doesn't like it she doesn't have to come. But we'll probably just do it anyway. Not thrilled. Mostly just venting.

I mean, I can understand where she is coming from. But what do you mean when you say she's being pushy? She asked to invite them and... then what?

She asked spouse if they were coming. Spouse deflected till she directly asked if they were invited, and then got upset when the answer was no. Spouse doesn't do well with anyone being upset so wants to just invite to keep the peace and just hope they don't show.

But what do you all normally do? If the Easter tradition is that everyone gets together and you've decided to only invite half the family then you're putting her in an awkward position. Maybe hosting the family isn't for you if you want to draw lines in sand and force the grandparents to choose. So much for peace and renewal and the spirit of Easter.

This. If they are always included you can't just decide you're hosting this year so you can cut off the people you don't care for. I mean you can but that's incredibly rude. If the family is not typically all together then MIL is being obnoxious expecting you to invite them if she doesn't.

Easter is not usually a big thing on either side (most of us aren’t even Christian). Some years we have big gatherings (if mil or my mom host), other years nothing at all, sometimes just a few people.I was excited ab hosting this year bc my son just turned 3 and he’s finally starting to get into holidays. The steps barely acknowledge his existence.

Inviting them = some extra food, extra chairs
Not inviting them = tension between you and your MIL, tension between MIL and her son, tension with your step FIL (who I'm sure you want nothing to do with), and most certainly tension with the "steps."

But hey. They didn't pay enough attention to Larlo so they should be banned from your holidays.

Also, have you considered that they might want to be with their father on this holiday?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Invite them or don't host.

That's absurd. You're saying my young son can't have a nice easter (or whatever holiday) at home with his grandparents without having the whole extended clan of people who barely know his name? MIL would give us just as much of a hard time if we declined to come to something she hosted, or if we just didn't invite her or any of them.

Yes, he doesn't give a shit about your Easter other than the sweets the easter bunny brings or the eggs he "hunts." This is all you. And, again, you're just not a nice person. Your MIL is inclusive of all her family. You are not.

She doesn’t invite the step sons’ mother to her gatherings? What about that poor woman having to spend holidays wo her sons? One of the steps also didn’t invite us to their wedding. Bc we’re not actually family. And that’s fine.

The more you post the worse you look.