Have you ever asked a coworker to let you finish?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She may be on the spectrum, be open to other's communication differences and seek to be patient instead of taking it personally. Why are you letting this get to you?

Agree. BUT, telling people to sit or stand, and dismissing their education and experience, is rude and inappropriate. Not a matter of style. boundary setting is important. “Thank you, but I am comfortable like this (hard stare)”. “I appreciate your perspective but feel my experience is relevant here”

Op here. Thank you!!! I am also not the best at confrontation. The education thing came up two times. The second time I didn't mention it but she said the same thing to another teacher.

"Yesterday at a group meeting I snapped a little and asked her to let me finish." I mean TBH that's pretty rude too.

DP. It is rude, but usually people “snap” after they’ve let too many things slide for too long. In this case, I would apologize for losing my patience, and try to set boundaries earlier and more often going forward.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She may be on the spectrum, be open to other's communication differences and seek to be patient instead of taking it personally. Why are you letting this get to you?

Agree. BUT, telling people to sit or stand, and dismissing their education and experience, is rude and inappropriate. Not a matter of style. boundary setting is important. “Thank you, but I am comfortable like this (hard stare)”. “I appreciate your perspective but feel my experience is relevant here”

Op here. Thank you!!! I am also not the best at confrontation. The education thing came up two times. The second time I didn't mention it but she said the same thing to another teacher.

"Yesterday at a group meeting I snapped a little and asked her to let me finish." I mean TBH that's pretty rude too.

Op here. Yes, I agree but as I said I slipped. The job doesn't pay well. If I am going to be disrespected, stressed whatever by this employee I would rather find another job so I was trying to set a boundary. The situation isn't easy because as I said she is my 4-year-old's teacher. Would you want a person you don't seem to get along with to be your child's teacher? We are paying a lot for him to attend the school. I'm sure that's also making me more emotional. She appears to not be patient enough to work with kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She may be on the spectrum, be open to other's communication differences and seek to be patient instead of taking it personally. Why are you letting this get to you?

Agree. BUT, telling people to sit or stand, and dismissing their education and experience, is rude and inappropriate. Not a matter of style. boundary setting is important. “Thank you, but I am comfortable like this (hard stare)”. “I appreciate your perspective but feel my experience is relevant here”

Op here. Thank you!!! I am also not the best at confrontation. The education thing came up two times. The second time I didn't mention it but she said the same thing to another teacher.

"Yesterday at a group meeting I snapped a little and asked her to let me finish." I mean TBH that's pretty rude too.

Op here. Yes, I agree but as I said I slipped. The job doesn't pay well. If I am going to be disrespected, stressed whatever by this employee I would rather find another job so I was trying to set a boundary. The situation isn't easy because as I said she is my 4-year-old's teacher. Would you want a person you don't seem to get along with to be your child's teacher? We are paying a lot for him to attend the school. I'm sure that's also making me more emotional. She appears to not be patient enough to work with kids.

Have you experienced her being inpatient with children? I know people who are terse with adults but very good with kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She may be on the spectrum, be open to other's communication differences and seek to be patient instead of taking it personally. Why are you letting this get to you?

Agree. BUT, telling people to sit or stand, and dismissing their education and experience, is rude and inappropriate. Not a matter of style. boundary setting is important. “Thank you, but I am comfortable like this (hard stare)”. “I appreciate your perspective but feel my experience is relevant here”

Op here. Thank you!!! I am also not the best at confrontation. The education thing came up two times. The second time I didn't mention it but she said the same thing to another teacher.

"Yesterday at a group meeting I snapped a little and asked her to let me finish." I mean TBH that's pretty rude too.

Op here. Yes, I agree but as I said I slipped. The job doesn't pay well. If I am going to be disrespected, stressed whatever by this employee I would rather find another job so I was trying to set a boundary. The situation isn't easy because as I said she is my 4-year-old's teacher. Would you want a person you don't seem to get along with to be your child's teacher? We are paying a lot for him to attend the school. I'm sure that's also making me more emotional. She appears to not be patient enough to work with kids.

Have you experienced her being inpatient with children? I know people who are terse with adults but very good with kids.

Yes! I think she came from a school that had very quiet kids. It's a Montessori school. Everyone else is fine with how loud they are outside at recess for example. She's impatient with how long it takes them to line up. They are between 3-6. It's surprising to me because she's been teaching for so long. You can't expect perfection from kids. Other teachers are much more calm and they are fine with how the school is but she's trying to change stuff. I am new so I am not offering any feedback. Another thing about me is I have a baby face. If I don't establish boundaries people will give me too much advice because they think I am younger. I feel that culturally there are also things going on but I am trying to make things comfortable for me too because we are in the US! Respecting elders is a big thing in some cultures and for them, it means you can disagree if they are a lot older. My husband is from a similar background.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She may be on the spectrum, be open to other's communication differences and seek to be patient instead of taking it personally. Why are you letting this get to you?

Agree. BUT, telling people to sit or stand, and dismissing their education and experience, is rude and inappropriate. Not a matter of style. boundary setting is important. “Thank you, but I am comfortable like this (hard stare)”. “I appreciate your perspective but feel my experience is relevant here”

Op here. Thank you!!! I am also not the best at confrontation. The education thing came up two times. The second time I didn't mention it but she said the same thing to another teacher.

"Yesterday at a group meeting I snapped a little and asked her to let me finish." I mean TBH that's pretty rude too.

Op here. Yes, I agree but as I said I slipped. The job doesn't pay well. If I am going to be disrespected, stressed whatever by this employee I would rather find another job so I was trying to set a boundary. The situation isn't easy because as I said she is my 4-year-old's teacher. Would you want a person you don't seem to get along with to be your child's teacher? We are paying a lot for him to attend the school. I'm sure that's also making me more emotional. She appears to not be patient enough to work with kids.

Have you experienced her being inpatient with children? I know people who are terse with adults but very good with kids.

Yes! I think she came from a school that had very quiet kids. It's a Montessori school. Everyone else is fine with how loud they are outside at recess for example. She's impatient with how long it takes them to line up. They are between 3-6. It's surprising to me because she's been teaching for so long. You can't expect perfection from kids. Other teachers are much more calm and they are fine with how the school is but she's trying to change stuff. I am new so I am not offering any feedback. Another thing about me is I have a baby face. If I don't establish boundaries people will give me too much advice because they think I am younger. I feel that culturally there are also things going on but I am trying to make things comfortable for me too because we are in the US! Respecting elders is a big thing in some cultures and for them, it means you can disagree if they are a lot older. My husband is from a similar background.

Op here. Meant you CAN'T disagree. Some of the teachers are asking me for advice because they aren't comfortable telling parents when kids are misbehaving for example. It's just a very different environment for me. They do a kind of dance instead of coming out and straightforwardly saying things. It has pros and cons.

[Anonymous]

I think give the benefit of the doubt and deal with her communication style the best you can.

It's funny because when I saw this, I thought of someone who supervises at my job who snaps "Let me finish" at people all the time -- and this is a bit of a problem. She really offended me when she did it to me, and I got pretty mad, but then I've seen her do it to others many times. She just gets impatient and has a tendency to snap a bit. Other than this annoying trait and a tendency to over-control everything, she is a really wonderful person and we are lucky to have her. No one is perfect.

Try to see the good in people and do your best with them. And be careful with the "Let me finish!" snapping. Workplaces are such strange and wonderful places in how they throw all of us super-different people together.

[Anonymous]

Hmmm seems like you keep stereotyping based on her cultural background.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hmmm seems like you keep stereotyping based on her cultural background.

Op here. It's not just her. The majority of the school isn't from the US but they aren't rude. There are only a few teachers who are from the US (4 total) and we are all more assertive. If something doesn't work with us we will generally say that. It's a very different environment but I love the two teachers in my classroom. If this lady wasn't my son's teacher I wouldn't be thinking about it as much. He's new to the school as well.

[Anonymous]

I have to remind my boss REGULARLY to let me finish. He knows he talks over people constantly, but can't seem to help himself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She may be on the spectrum, be open to other's communication differences and seek to be patient instead of taking it personally. Why are you letting this get to you?

Agree. BUT, telling people to sit or stand, and dismissing their education and experience, is rude and inappropriate. Not a matter of style. boundary setting is important. “Thank you, but I am comfortable like this (hard stare)”. “I appreciate your perspective but feel my experience is relevant here”

Op here. Thank you!!! I am also not the best at confrontation. The education thing came up two times. The second time I didn't mention it but she said the same thing to another teacher.

We can't change other people. If you plan to have your son continue there and she continue to be his teacher next year I would back way off from conflict.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hmmm seems like you keep stereotyping based on her cultural background.

Op here. It's not just her. The majority of the school isn't from the US but they aren't rude. There are only a few teachers who are from the US (4 total) and we are all more assertive. If something doesn't work with us we will generally say that. It's a very different environment but I love the two teachers in my classroom. If this lady wasn't my son's teacher I wouldn't be thinking about it as much. He's new to the school as well.

OP, this is how she is. She is this way with multiple people. She has a lot of influence over your child's day to day life. Why are you getting so spun up here? To what end? It's not in your power to fire her, so, make the best of things. How is she with the kids?