If you were undecided on a 2nd, and found out that the remaining embryo ...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you for all of the thoughtful responses. I truly appreciate it. I do have some health issues, I had gestational diabetes and hypertension with turned into pre-eclampsia and a permanent injury which results in there being some days that my husband has to do the lions share of the physical caretaking of our child. He is so kind and has never complained about having to do that, but it weighs on me.

He would prefer one child, and I don’t take that lightly. I also know that if it was something I wanted badly he would do it. But I don’t want to exploit that knowing that there will be times he will have to pitch in more. So I do feel like this ends up being a decision that I have to make.

I think this is the real issue. If he strongly prefers one child, and you don't want a second badly enough to be happy with either gender, that's your answer.

But I will say that neither of my kids was the sex I hoped for - wanted a girl for the first and got a boy, and then since I had a boy I hoped for another boy, and got a girl - and I do not care. At all. Because at the end of the day what I really wanted was two children, no matter the sex. If you don't feel that way, then especially since your husband doesn't want a second at all, it may be time to stop and enjoy the child you have.

[Anonymous]

Decide if you want another kid. Because gender really will not matter. You will love the kid regardless of their gender.

But, if you don’t want another kid, don’t have one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:is the opposite gender of what you were hoping, would that affect your decision? I am trying to not have it affect my decision, but finding it not easy.

Can you do another retrieval?

We decided not to do anymore retrievals, we have spent so much money already (5 rounds of IVF to get just 2 normal embryos).

I think that if, after all of that, you're not excited about your last remaining embryo, then you probably don't want another baby at all. Don't do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That's where I'm leaning, but I feel like a jerk that the gender would make a difference. But then even if it was the gender I was hoping for, I am not sure I'd be 100%. I think I'm also just feeling PTSD from years of infertility and all of the stress and heartache of it. I feel very confused. I'm in my early 40s so I don't have much time to decide.

Infertility trauma is real, so go easy on yourself. If you do want a kid, the gender disappointment will pass like it does for everyone. You might want to explore why you’re undecided, as it seems you have some really complicated feelings that are no doubt colored by some fear and doubt.

Try to remember that no matter what you do, you have a wonderful future ahead of you!

[Anonymous]

Since gender is just a social construct designed by woke people raise it opposite gender. You could probably make millions documenting the journey. Think of it as a cool science experiment. Imagine the college essay, you’d be a sure thing for HYP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:is the opposite gender of what you were hoping, would that affect your decision? I am trying to not have it affect my decision, but finding it not easy.

Can you do another retrieval?

We decided not to do anymore retrievals, we have spent so much money already (5 rounds of IVF to get just 2 normal embryos).

I think that if, after all of that, you're not excited about your last remaining embryo, then you probably don't want another baby at all. Don't do it.

This is a great point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Since gender is just a social construct designed by woke people raise it opposite gender. You could probably make millions documenting the journey. Think of it as a cool science experiment. Imagine the college essay, you’d be a sure thing for HYP.

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