Why 50/50? My Attorney Saying 50/50 isn’t likelh

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When your stbx sees the difference in child support with 50/50, is that likely to sway him?

Op probably wants more time for more child support.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most men don't want to see their children.

My friend who is a divorce lawyer says the new thing (last 15 years) with women is forcing their H's to take the kids 50/50, instead of fighting for more custody to maximize child support, but that's because most women she represents have their own money. Also, they sincerely want their ex's to be part of their children's lives so they force it through the courts.

You are so full of it. Most men do. It’s women like you who refuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is your exh willing and able to pay you to sah or do you have family money. Most dads fight for 50/50 because they want to pay less child support. If they ask for it they will get it.

most men want their kids. If you want to not work you need to figure it out.

[Anonymous]

Go with what your attorney says. Everyone on here says it’s going to be 50/50 no matter what if the dad wants it, and that’s not true. My case went to trial and dad got every other weekend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Go with what your attorney says. Everyone on here says it’s going to be 50/50 no matter what if the dad wants it, and that’s not true. My case went to trial and dad got every other weekend.

How much did the trial want? Why were you insistent on your ex getting such little time?

We need more details here. Unless there’s some serious issues going on, it’s not morally or legally justifiable to push for only every-other-weekend. I have a loser DH and he’s getting a few days/week.

I do agree with PPs that there are plenty of men who don’t want 50% though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Go with what your attorney says. Everyone on here says it’s going to be 50/50 no matter what if the dad wants it, and that’s not true. My case went to trial and dad got every other weekend.

How much did the trial want? Why were you insistent on your ex getting such little time?

We need more details here. Unless there’s some serious issues going on, it’s not morally or legally justifiable to push for only every-other-weekend. I have a loser DH and he’s getting a few days/week.

I do agree with PPs that there are plenty of men who don’t want 50% though.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think most people realize that child support doesn’t change unless one parent has the kids fewer than 91 24 hour periods in the year (in VA, At least). So whether you have 50/50 or 60/40 or even 70/30, child support remains the same. Women aren’t out there willingly taking on most of the parenting duties in hopes of getting more money. They do it bc their husbands aren’t capable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most men don't want to see their children.

My friend who is a divorce lawyer says the new thing (last 15 years) with women is forcing their H's to take the kids 50/50, instead of fighting for more custody to maximize child support, but that's because most women she represents have their own money. Also, they sincerely want their ex's to be part of their children's lives so they force it through the courts.

That's a fancy way of saying the women don't want to see their children either.

[Anonymous]

First, I will preface this by saying DH and I are in a (mostly) happy marriage. But I am 100% sure that if we got divorced he would want 50%. I can't believe so many of you chose to have kids with men who don't care about their kids! It would kill me to have my kids only half of the time, but I would never fight it because DH is a great dad and he has a great relationship with each of our two kids. I would never take that away from the kids even if I hated DH. I would really like to think DH and I would both always put the kids first but who know what happens when you hate each other or one hates the other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think most people realize that child support doesn’t change unless one parent has the kids fewer than 91 24 hour periods in the year (in VA, At least). So whether you have 50/50 or 60/40 or even 70/30, child support remains the same. Women aren’t out there willingly taking on most of the parenting duties in hopes of getting more money. They do it bc their husbands aren’t capable.

This is false by the way. The % time of custody is literally one of the inputs in the child support guidelines worksheet. It is true that there is a separate formula for sole vs. shared custody. I mean just think about that for a second, how ridiculous would it be if the formula did not change based upon the custody share, that would be idiotic.

Source: https://www.vacourts.gov/forms/district/dc640.pdf

[Anonymous]

^edit: I'm not taking a position as to whether people try to get more time to impact the CS formula, just pointing out that your statement is wrong in VA.

[Anonymous]

I really think it makes the most sense to consider what makes the most sense for the kids given their schedules (sports, therapy, school, etc), the locations and schedules of the parents, and any family traditions (e.g., vacations, visiting family, holidays). Then calculate the split.

Don't make it 50/50 with a 14 yo who is into competitive swim but who has a parent who lives too far away to take the son to swim practice. Find a way to give both parents time without imposing on the child. That's takes cooperation and putting aside your issues, but really is how it should work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most men don't want to see their children.

My friend who is a divorce lawyer says the new thing (last 15 years) with women is forcing their H's to take the kids 50/50, instead of fighting for more custody to maximize child support, but that's because most women she represents have their own money. Also, they sincerely want their ex's to be part of their children's lives so they force it through the courts.

You can’t force a parent to be involved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First, I will preface this by saying DH and I are in a (mostly) happy marriage. But I am 100% sure that if we got divorced he would want 50%. I can't believe so many of you chose to have kids with men who don't care about their kids! It would kill me to have my kids only half of the time, but I would never fight it because DH is a great dad and he has a great relationship with each of our two kids. I would never take that away from the kids even if I hated DH. I would really like to think DH and I would both always put the kids first but who know what happens when you hate each other or one hates the other.

Good for you lady. Perhaps don’t try to compare your functional marriage to marriages that have fallen apart. It’s a lot more complex than just hating the other parent. Sometimes it is in the child’s best interests to have more time with one parent, and sometimes, yes, the dad does not want to do 50%.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I really think it makes the most sense to consider what makes the most sense for the kids given their schedules (sports, therapy, school, etc), the locations and schedules of the parents, and any family traditions (e.g., vacations, visiting family, holidays). Then calculate the split.

Don't make it 50/50 with a 14 yo who is into competitive swim but who has a parent who lives too far away to take the son to swim practice. Find a way to give both parents time without imposing on the child. That's takes cooperation and putting aside your issues, but really is how it should work.

Regardless it should be 50-50. Don't take away your child's other parent just to spite them. You aren't putting aside your issues if you are saying don't do 50-50. Or, you can do it where the other parent lives and you can do the commute.