Coparenting App Recommendations

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We use 2houses. It's less expensive than other options. The calendar/custodial schedule, expense sharing, and messages are the most useful features for us.

Oh. We don’t do expense sharing. My former spouse earns a lot more so he just covers everything. I am super nice to him and drive the kids everywhere and spends as much time with his girlfriend as he wants . Works for me ! Maybe if the app does all that - sounds like it has many many features!

My strat is to be an awesome ex wife, better than the wife I was!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We use 2houses. It's less expensive than other options. The calendar/custodial schedule, expense sharing, and messages are the most useful features for us.

Oh. We don’t do expense sharing. My former spouse earns a lot more so he just covers everything. I am super nice to him and drive the kids everywhere and spends as much time with his girlfriend as he wants . Works for me ! Maybe if the app does all that - sounds like it has many many features!

My strat is to be an awesome ex wife, better than the wife I was!

Cool. My ex refuses to pay for his share of DC's shoes.

That's a way of saying don't expect him to continue footing all the bills, especially if the gf dumps him. Get everything in writing, including who pays for what and in what proportions.

[Anonymous]

Apps make sense in that case. I think if there is any wealth or education it does not make sense in the mid or long term.

[Anonymous]

In a some cases, once the heat goes down the professional male will step up and give his children whatever they need. I Assuming there is a lot in place there! That has been my experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Apps make sense in that case. I think if there is any wealth or education it does not make sense in the mid or long term.

Are you implying that people with wealth or education don’t avoid their obligations or abuse their former spouses?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Apps make sense in that case. I think if there is any wealth or education it does not make sense in the mid or long term.

Are you implying that people with wealth or education don’t avoid their obligations or abuse their former spouses?

To be clear, if you are mincing the costs of small purchases (eg. a pair of sneakers), then it makes sense to treat the parent abnormally and through an app.

The “resource limited” mindset makes sense and now I understand who uses these apps. Low resource people who divide up small expenses every month

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Apps make sense in that case. I think if there is any wealth or education it does not make sense in the mid or long term.

Are you implying that people with wealth or education don’t avoid their obligations or abuse their former spouses?

To be clear, if you are mincing the costs of small purchases (eg. a pair of sneakers), then it makes sense to treat the parent abnormally and through an app.

The “resource limited” mindset makes sense and now I understand who uses these apps. Low resource people who divide up small expenses every month

Apps are for poor people

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Apps make sense in that case. I think if there is any wealth or education it does not make sense in the mid or long term.

Are you implying that people with wealth or education don’t avoid their obligations or abuse their former spouses?

To be clear, if you are mincing the costs of small purchases (eg. a pair of sneakers), then it makes sense to treat the parent abnormally and through an app.

The “resource limited” mindset makes sense and now I understand who uses these apps. Low resource people who divide up small expenses every month

So, if your ex doesn’t contribute for his half of the shoes, it’s fine to use an app, but if your ex is like mine and insisted on private school and then didn’t pay the tuition bill it’s not okay to use an app?

Is it also OK to use the app to communicate about who is picking up from public school, but not private school?

[Anonymous]

I’m just saying it’s ghetto. If you treat someone like garbage (handle them) they will respond in kind. No one likes to be placed in an app for the right to communicate with the parent of their child.

No duh they are not paying
People don’t like to do things that are not voluntary or that seem ridiculously difficult

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m just saying it’s ghetto. If you treat someone like garbage (handle them) they will respond in kind. No one likes to be placed in an app for the right to communicate with the parent of their child.

No duh they are not paying
People don’t like to do things that are not voluntary or that seem ridiculously difficult

Are you divorced? Is your ex high conflict? Coparenting apps tend to be for high conflict relationships and only after one party has proven themselves not to be reliable or trustworthy. The apps consolidate messages and other records in case of court or other 3rd party intervention.

It is also nice to have messages etc from your high conflict ex in one place so that you choose when to check it/avoid bombardment. Then (hopefully for both, though not always), the fact that this is a purposeful space means that more care is taken when sending messages.

Not sure how aiming to remove emotion and focus solely on the children via an app is "ghetto" or why you would use that word to begin with.

[Anonymous]

Can someone explain why not just send a text message? Text hold up court, they last forever if you enable it, they have time stamps, you set when it alerts you, shared calendar, etc? Why use an app?

[Anonymous]

Much more organized to have the app.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can someone explain why not just send a text message? Text hold up court, they last forever if you enable it, they have time stamps, you set when it alerts you, shared calendar, etc? Why use an app?

Because it's easier to have everything in one place. A log of all calls between me and him or kid and him, a log of all messages, a record of when bills were paid, a calendar.

Because I can log the kids in and out so they can place and receive phone calls.

Because it keeps all the things I want to share, separate from things I don't want to share.

Because I can give access to the app to my attorney or someone else who is helping me, without it being muddied with other communications.

Because it reduces the time it takes my attorney to organize things and prepare for court, and he charges me by the minute.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can someone explain why not just send a text message? Text hold up court, they last forever if you enable it, they have time stamps, you set when it alerts you, shared calendar, etc? Why use an app?

Because it's easier to have everything in one place. A log of all calls between me and him or kid and him, a log of all messages, a record of when bills were paid, a calendar.

Because I can log the kids in and out so they can place and receive phone calls.

Because it keeps all the things I want to share, separate from things I don't want to share.

Because I can give access to the app to my attorney or someone else who is helping me, without it being muddied with other communications.

Because it reduces the time it takes my attorney to organize things and prepare for court, and he charges me by the minute.

All this. It's not "ghetto" and it's not just if you're poor but I guess you'd consider fed salaries "poor." It's easy for the person who pays the most because you just put it into the app whenever you make a purchase and easy for the other person to get the itemized list that has a running total.

[Anonymous]

Just average costs per month. Some months will be higher, some lower. If you want keep your receipts/records in your car glove box.

No one likes a warden. Show him/her your worksheet. Low ball the average number lightly. Done.

No monthly BS