Balancing advanced HS classes/APs with having a happy high schooler

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^^False. Grades and SAT scores are far more important than maxing out Apps or taking every possible rigorous class, even for highly competitive schools. Yeah, if you’re aiming for MIT you should try for the highest level of math, but OP has said that the DC isn’t a math wiz so schools like MIT and Caltech won’t be on the table.

THIS

[Anonymous]

DC took Calc AB and BC but was applying to engineering programs. Spouse is an engineer and advised taking it for background / preparation purposes. It wouldn't be necessary for political science. I don't know but much math is involved in economics; you may need to take a calculus class for that major, but my guess is that AB would be sufficient prep.

[Anonymous]

OP back. Thanks so much all for these comments. He'll definitely take the same foreign language through high school and I imagine end up with an AP there. I think it's pretty unlikely he'd pursue engineering, and he has zero interest in robotics... but it's just hard to be certain at this point, because academically he has diverse interests but no singular passion. It sounds like right now we should aim for a well-rounded, rigorous education without worrying too much about the nitty-gritty details (and about whether other kids are taking summer math). It is just unsettling to see the race around us for more and more academic rigor and worry whether we're doing right by our kid. I don't want to shortchange him, but I also don't want to get into a battle with him about what he should do, if he's not inclined to pursue extra enrichment like some kids are, and mess up our relationship or his mental health.

I actually think he might like AP Stats because he has a very practical way of thinking, but AP AB Calc would take priority I think, if both are not on the table.

[Anonymous]

The general guidance is to pursue the highest rigor available to your kid across the five major subject areas. So, if in math that’s Calc AB, great!

Note that AP Stats is not a replacement in terms of rigor, so if looking for most rigorous and he’s not stressed by the idea, he should take Calc AB. But if he doesn’t like math and is miserable, stats instead of calc is a good path.

Ultimately, aim for a well-rounded transcript that shows your kid is willing to challenge himself in all areas. But also make sure he has time to pursue the outside-of-classroom things that he cares about. For my kid (going to a top LAC next year), that meant taking five APs but no electives senior year so that he would have free periods to do homework and EC-related stuff. That has been a HUGE help. Focus on what’s important and meaningful to your kid, not just filling up slots.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are something like 2000 4-year colleges and universities. Regardless of whether he takes calc AB or BC, there will be a good fit for him.

There are two approaches to college. One is too pick the kind of school you want and then forces your son to be the kind of high school student who can get in. The second approach is to choose the high school classes and experience that are best for your son's skills and temperament and then see what colleges follow from that.

That sounds good in theory. But I don’t think any of the kids with the profiles built to get into top20 colleges just love taking every AP class possible, grinding through 4 hrs of high school (and probably middle school too) and building “non profit” organizations. They are only doing this to get into top school to maximize professional opportunities as adults. Either your kid is willing and wants to put into the effort or they aren’t. But I really don’t think it has anything to do with the student actually enjoying it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are something like 2000 4-year colleges and universities. Regardless of whether he takes calc AB or BC, there will be a good fit for him.

There are two approaches to college. One is too pick the kind of school you want and then forces your son to be the kind of high school student who can get in. The second approach is to choose the high school classes and experience that are best for your son's skills and temperament and then see what colleges follow from that.

That sounds good in theory. But I don’t think any of the kids with the profiles built to get into top20 colleges just love taking every AP class possible, grinding through 4 hrs of high school (and probably middle school too) and building “non profit” organizations. They are only doing this to get into top school to maximize professional opportunities as adults. Either your kid is willing and wants to put into the effort or they aren’t. But I really don’t think it has anything to do with the student actually enjoying it

Do you know kids admitted to top 20 schools? The ones I know (including two to Yale, one to Brown this year) do not fit this profile at all. They are smart, intrinsically motivated kids who pursued stuff they enjoyed and were really good at it. Sure, maybe they made some marginal decisions to boost rigor—e.g., taking AP foreign language even though they don’t love the subject—but they didn’t do the stuff people on here assume is necessary to get into a top school.

[Anonymous]

Sadly this is not possible in the DMV at a competitive school. I think our kids will have so many issues when they grow up and the kids that led balanced lives and went to mediocre schools will turn out much better. More confident and happier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sadly this is not possible in the DMV at a competitive school. I think our kids will have so many issues when they grow up and the kids that led balanced lives and went to mediocre schools will turn out much better. More confident and happier.

It all depends on what other kids in your DC's school are doing. Your first comparison is with peers within the school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DS is in 9th grade at a private school, not DC area but another metro region. School is rigorous but also has a real mix of kids, and I wouldn't describe it as ultra-high pressure though there are some really smart students. DS is in all honors classes and doing well, but working hard, he is definitely being challenged. We're looking ahead to the rest of high school and trying to get a decent sense of where he might end up, curricularly, and trying to figure out what is a good fit for him, will maximize his college chances, and give him a decent school-life balance. I would say he is a bright kid (as we often say about our kids ), and he is quite strong in most subjects without wildly excelling at any. Just a good all-around student, but not a math whiz or writing prodigy or anything like that. I have no idea what he will end up studying and becoming professionally, though could see him in some social science, like economics, political science, that sort of thing. But it's really tough to tell. Currently he loves physics and history. His school offers the "big" AP classes but not the same variety as many public school districts do.

For math he's on track to end with AP Calc AB, because his school requires AB as a prerequisite to BC, and he is currently in Honors Geometry. Is maxing out at Calc AB these days considered not all that great? I really have no idea. He *really* doesn't want to take summer math, and I'm not inclined to force him and worry he just wouldn't take it in, but am genuinly confused how important it is to end with AP Calc BC. I think he will almost certainly take AP Physics and either AP Chem or AP Bio, or maybe both. Could take AP Stats. Also APUSH and AP Spanish. He has some solid extracurriculars he's passionate about and has a job, but again, not a superstar on the extracurricular front, just a nice thoughtful kid with activities he genuinely enjoys and is working to nurture.

We're not imagining tippy top schools--honestly I have no idea what schools we're imagining--but I don't want to close off options and it seems like it's smart to think about the "track" he's on and whether it should be modified in any way, just to keep options open. I welcome any advice particularly about the math question. Thank you!

OP, the answers you're looking for are all in your post:

1) Trying to figure out what is a good fit for him, and give him a decent school-life balance.

Distant 2) Maximize his college chances.

Parent the kid you have, encourage him to challenge himself and do the best he can, and really resist the urge to compare him to others.

[Anonymous]

My DS is a senior in an area private school, not one of the top ones. He took 8 APs and will graduate with a healthy mix of As and Bs. He has certainly enjoyed high school. He played a sport, but it wasn’t his whole life. He joined clubs. He did his school work well, but seemed to prioritize his health/happiness over achieving all As.

He applied to 9 schools, mostly large state universities including several highly ranked ones. He got into 8 of them and received substantial merit from 6.

I think I panicked more than he did, and now I see he was right along: it will work out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Depends on where others end up. If many kids in BC you will have a problem. But this is merely stating the obvious.

This type of opinion is absurd. And is part of the problem.

OP, your kid will be FINE. Do not push excessively and, yes, the anxiety and burnout is absolutely real. Allow for diff tracks (e.g., mine did not want AP Lang or Lit and DC would have been miserable in it. If that would be the difference between UVA and something else- FINE.) Do not let them get hung up on a particular tier or single school. LOTS of my friends have very disappointed seniors this year b/c they "wanted to go to TECH/UVA their whole lives."

My kid is very smart, similar to yours, but by no means a genius or shooting for ivies. DC still has lots of options that are being evaluated for fit, and for practicality (some are very expensive and while we -COULD- swing it, does it make sense?) Find that balance of ambition and flexibility that many people lack in the college process (and I include us in that at various points.) There will be lots of highs and lots of lows.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sadly this is not possible in the DMV at a competitive school. I think our kids will have so many issues when they grow up and the kids that led balanced lives and went to mediocre schools will turn out much better. More confident and happier.

Schools that aren't Ivy, or even UVA and Tech, are not "mediocre schools." What an ahole thing to say.

[Anonymous]

Ending with Calc AB is fine.
Stick with that plan since he's not trying to prove himself as an engineering major.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are something like 2000 4-year colleges and universities. Regardless of whether he takes calc AB or BC, there will be a good fit for him.

There are two approaches to college. One is too pick the kind of school you want and then forces your son to be the kind of high school student who can get in. The second approach is to choose the high school classes and experience that are best for your son's skills and temperament and then see what colleges follow from that.

That sounds good in theory. But I don’t think any of the kids with the profiles built to get into top20 colleges just love taking every AP class possible, grinding through 4 hrs of high school (and probably middle school too) and building “non profit” organizations. They are only doing this to get into top school to maximize professional opportunities as adults. Either your kid is willing and wants to put into the effort or they aren’t. But I really don’t think it has anything to do with the student actually enjoying it

Do you know kids admitted to top 20 schools? The ones I know (including two to Yale, one to Brown this year) do not fit this profile at all. They are smart, intrinsically motivated kids who pursued stuff they enjoyed and were really good at it. Sure, maybe they made some marginal decisions to boost rigor—e.g., taking AP foreign language even though they don’t love the subject—but they didn’t do the stuff people on here assume is necessary to get into a top school.

Their parents probably had deep pockets and they could ED.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are something like 2000 4-year colleges and universities. Regardless of whether he takes calc AB or BC, there will be a good fit for him.

There are two approaches to college. One is too pick the kind of school you want and then forces your son to be the kind of high school student who can get in. The second approach is to choose the high school classes and experience that are best for your son's skills and temperament and then see what colleges follow from that.

That sounds good in theory. But I don’t think any of the kids with the profiles built to get into top20 colleges just love taking every AP class possible, grinding through 4 hrs of high school (and probably middle school too) and building “non profit” organizations. They are only doing this to get into top school to maximize professional opportunities as adults. Either your kid is willing and wants to put into the effort or they aren’t. But I really don’t think it has anything to do with the student actually enjoying it

Do you know kids admitted to top 20 schools? The ones I know (including two to Yale, one to Brown this year) do not fit this profile at all. They are smart, intrinsically motivated kids who pursued stuff they enjoyed and were really good at it. Sure, maybe they made some marginal decisions to boost rigor—e.g., taking AP foreign language even though they don’t love the subject—but they didn’t do the stuff people on here assume is necessary to get into a top school.

Their parents probably had deep pockets and they could ED.

Yale doesn’t have ED.