Ideas to help bring some hope and happiness to a newly diagnosed and bedridden cancer patient

[Anonymous]

I agree with the antidepressants. It sounds like she won't benefit from much until properly medicated. Also, some ideas:

*Does she love dogs? If so, see if they will allow a therapy dog group to come or just 1 person with a therapy dog.

*Get east care plants for her room. Looking at greenery is calming.

*Have you played her favorite music in the room. If she declines, negotiate and see if she will even allow 8 minutes of her favorite music.

**Is there are outdoor garden or relaxing space where she is? if so make sure she gets time there everyday. I assume she is OK in a wheelchair. Fresh air and sunshine are so vital.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Antidepressants may be a good idea, but she has a very legitimate reason to be depressed. Her life has been turned upside down. The functioning of her brain and body are no longer in sync. Speak with her doctor, but also maybe surround her with tiny comforts that don’t require her to do much of anything or to focus. Food treats, a soft blanket or comfy slippers, play music for her that she’s previously enjoyed, do her nails for her if she likes that, bring some nice massage oil and massage her feet, brush her hair (not necessarily to style it but because many people find the sensation soothing), make sure she has some photos of family to look at. If she knits or crochets, see if she’s up for it, but fidget toys might give her something to do that’s not physically taxing, doesn’t require concentration, isn’t intended to accomplish anything, and doesn’t include any measurement of progress.

Most people who take antidepressants have a legit reason to be depressed. It's a small subset who have bad wiring. The majority are dealing with things like death of a loved one, divorce, illness, or other tragedy. The antidepressants help them be open to therapy and activities despite what they face.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Antidepressants may be a good idea, but she has a very legitimate reason to be depressed. Her life has been turned upside down. The functioning of her brain and body are no longer in sync. Speak with her doctor, but also maybe surround her with tiny comforts that don’t require her to do much of anything or to focus. Food treats, a soft blanket or comfy slippers, play music for her that she’s previously enjoyed, do her nails for her if she likes that, bring some nice massage oil and massage her feet, brush her hair (not necessarily to style it but because many people find the sensation soothing), make sure she has some photos of family to look at. If she knits or crochets, see if she’s up for it, but fidget toys might give her something to do that’s not physically taxing, doesn’t require concentration, isn’t intended to accomplish anything, and doesn’t include any measurement of progress.

Most people who take antidepressants have a legit reason to be depressed. It's a small subset who have bad wiring. The majority are dealing with things like death of a loved one, divorce, illness, or other tragedy. The antidepressants help them be open to therapy and activities despite what they face.

I understand that, but antidepressants aren’t a magic bullet that will quickly restore OP’s mom to her normal mental state. She’s not going to swallow a pill and then start enjoying watching tv on her iPad. There’s a new “normal” and it will take time for OP’s mom to adjust — and that’s assuming that her health doesn’t further deteriorate.

[Anonymous]

I haven’t been in her exact situation but I’ve been bedridden before and have had some life tragedy as most have. If it were my mom, I might try to validate her feelings without encouraging her to wallow. Tell her it must be hard going from active to such a challenge and that the grandkids are thinking of her and ready whenever she is.Instead of trying to cheer her up with comedies, offer shows that are easy to go in and out of, not plot heavy yet interesting like documentaries, nature shows, etc. A little routine and structure to her day can help it not feel endless, even if it’s minor like when she will brush her teeth, when to eat, when a certain tv show is, when she will take one or two calls and when she can fit a nap in. I like someone’s suggestion of a short time for music. Help her set a few small goals and talk to the experts about how best for her to move through her day.