Tell me about moving out of the city/suburbs with kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone left the city/suburbs for a smaller town feel? How did it go? How did your kids transition?

It's 10000% better but different. You leave the rat race for a different quiet and funner life. The schools are competitive but they add more fun aspects to it.

This.

So many young parents buy into the "elite school system" talk that keeps property values so high, and the students so stressed out.

Then you go to a different system and realize the education is still great, but the culture is just so wildly different. It doesnt treat HS it as a means to end (the concept of "what's the point if it doesn't improve my college application" still exists but is much less prevalent.)

But we found our experience to be much better. Our DC are still getting a great education, but its less stressful and they feel comfortable taking courses that interest them but may not become anything later in life. It seems like a much more enjoyable education experience

[Anonymous]

We left the city for the burbs. Here's the most important thing: Your relationship with their father and with your children. Cities have their ups and downsides as do burbs. But the thing that matters is spending time with your kids, with your spouse. Setting boundaries and extending grace. Talking and listening. Love. Apologizing. Having fun. It doesn't really matter where you live.

[Anonymous]

I did as a child. We went to a better ranked school, had a house, and had a yard. I loved my room, but missed the excitement of the city. I missed the food, the friends, being able to see a play, and most of all I missed the anonymity. My parents wish we moved to somewhere closer in because a lot of the benefits of city life we lost out on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My best friend moved her family to Lexington, VA and they love it. The city has a single elementary and middle school (for high school you have to go to the county school and that's where things may get interesting). There is no Target, there is a WalMart. Grocery stores aren't great. They just got a Starbucks and Chick Fil A. They don't have a Chipotle. The city is quite insular and very separate from the county. Her boys did a rec sports league with the county and the difference in the parents on that team versus the city ones was striking.

Personally, I think small towns with colleges are ideal. Really rural areas wouldn't cut it for me (although we did leave DC because we couldn't stand it there anymore), but obviously that's a personal choice. As far as the schools go, the Lexington City schools are both 7/10 on Great Schools, so not sure how DCUM would feel about them, but they're very happy.

I know of four couples who moved to Lexington. Within five years, all had had affairs and divorced their spouses. No idea why it happens (is it the isolation? the complete lack of big-city amenities and entertainment?), but, it's definitely a weird Lexington thing. Maybe it's a thing in all small towns.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We haven't done this but I would like to do this if our kids were young enough. We love the city life and we can afford to live well here (including private school). But what I REALLY want for my kids is the small and medium town upbringing that my spouse and I both had. We went out on our bikes all day and played in the woods or by the creek, and it was idyllic.

I'm not sure if I would go super rural because I liked the walking to friends houses, but small town seems great.

Everyone these days, including people in small and medium towns, spends a lot of time on TikTok, etc. I'm not sure how much of "bikes all day" is really going on anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am the child in this scenario and I HATED moving to a rural small town. I’m a city girl. We lived in the city or suburb right outside the city. My parents moved me in high school and I hated the small town life.

I guess if your kids are very young, they won’t know any better.

This was me, too. It was horrid despite my parents being very well intentioned thinking it would be idyllic for their kids.

In the city, people had interests and culture and did cool, fun things and went places. In the small town it was just sports and/or drugs/drinking IN CORN FIELDS or out in the woods. Most of the people I knew in high school are still there raising their grandbabies (and some great grandbabies) and are alternating between Jesus , drugs, and drinkin' an' playin' darts down at the bar. I left as soon as humanly possible and have been only in large cities since.

[Anonymous]

Idk I guess it just depends on the kids. I grew up in a small town and loved it! I wasn't really ever bored. When we were mid teens there was things to do and places to go, but we still had a big drug problem at our school. So, I dont know how much boredom reality comes into play.

[Anonymous]

I fantasize about a close-knit small town but I know I'll never do it because we’re Jewish. We’d potentially be socially isolated and at best would have trouble finding a good religious community. I do so wish my kids could live in a place where they could roam the neighborhood all day on their own though. We actually can walk to a ton of stuff and do, but there are always so many cars running lights and stop signs that I am not willing to let my kids walk outside the neighborhood boundaries without me. Neighborhood is bounded by major streets on all sides.