RMIB culture?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not OP but wondering about the finding of a close knit group of friends. My DC is a freshman in RMIB and it doesn’t seem like there’s a lot of opportunities for friendships to start. It might be just too early or it might be just their own issue but I’m wondering if it gets better.

clubs.. someone once gave me the advice to have your kid be active and plugged in and join clubs. I told DC that, and DC made some good friends. They had no close friends in MS.

It's hard if your kid doesn't live in the RM cluster because the kids are from all over the county. My DC had friends all the way up in Germantown, and several locally in Rockville. They hardly saw the friend in Germantown. It got better Junior year when they all started to drive.

This is an issue for any magnet school. My kid had the same problem at HGC as it ws known then. Kid's friends were all over the county. Hard to meet up.

I’m the PP you’re responding to. Mine has joined two clubs for that same reason. They’ve met only a couple of times this whole school year.
I’m surprised that HS clubs aren’t very active.

There are so many clubs and the reality is that they aren’t all great. The HS clubs really are student run so if the upperclass student gets busy with other stuff or loses interest or just isn’t a good organizer, it can really fall apart. I’d suggest she try a few more. Or if she really likes that topic area, get more involved.— the upperclass folks stressed by college apps may be happy to have a freshman who volunteers to organize something. I think the clubs that have a specific thing like a competition, conference or performance tend to lead to a little more bonding.

Another idea is to just pick a classmate that seems nice and see if they want to go study at the town center or your house or whatever. Many kids also study together via FaceTime or discord. Particularly for math, science, comp sci, etc. where it can help to work through problems together, I think the kids do a lot of that.

In general, I think magnet schools tend to attract kids who didn’t have a great social crew in MS. As a result, you may have more kids that are a little socially insecure or shy—if your kid can initiate things, other kids may be grateful. My kid is very outgoing but hadn’t really found their tribe in MS so came in a little insecure socially — I think a lot of the 9th graders are probably in that bucket.

Also, have your 9th grader reach out to the upperclass mentor and see if they have any advice. It may be better than mine as a mom! They can probably also tell them which clubs are active/fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not OP but wondering about the finding of a close knit group of friends. My DC is a freshman in RMIB and it doesn’t seem like there’s a lot of opportunities for friendships to start. It might be just too early or it might be just their own issue but I’m wondering if it gets better.

clubs.. someone once gave me the advice to have your kid be active and plugged in and join clubs. I told DC that, and DC made some good friends. They had no close friends in MS.

It's hard if your kid doesn't live in the RM cluster because the kids are from all over the county. My DC had friends all the way up in Germantown, and several locally in Rockville. They hardly saw the friend in Germantown. It got better Junior year when they all started to drive.

This is an issue for any magnet school. My kid had the same problem at HGC as it ws known then. Kid's friends were all over the county. Hard to meet up.

I’m the PP you’re responding to. Mine has joined two clubs for that same reason. They’ve met only a couple of times this whole school year.
I’m surprised that HS clubs aren’t very active.

some are more active than others. Some of the clubs are not really clubs. IMO, some people just start "clubs" because it looks good on their college app.

By clubs, I mean active ones.. like Debate, Model UN, Mock Trial, RM Tide... things like that.

Or how about the Black Maskers theater. They are really awesome. My DC is part of it. There are some IB members in there. They have roles for student directors, crew, costume, etc.. if you don't want to be on stage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I keep hearing how RMIB is a “pressure cooker” or “toxic.” Can anyone shed light on the program culture and what elements in particular might be stressful or harmful? I take it that the kids are probably competitive to some degree. Is that fostered by administration/staff? Is it pervasive, or just a fraction of the cohort? Mean-spirited, driven by jealousy or comparison? Or just kids used to floating to the top and now working hard to stay there?

DC is efficient and bright and has a true love of learning but leans out on competition or ambition. (Leans in on collaboration and joy.) DC is nervous about the reputation, but on paper the program seems absolutely perfect for the kid. It’s been hard to gauge reality. Other main option is Einstein IB. Any insight helps!

There is a difference between “pressure cooker” and “toxic”. Most pressure tends to be self-imposed or parent imposed. The program is rigorous, but the workload for any particular student really depends on what courses they are taking, how much background a kid already has, and how quickly they learn. Some kids thrive, some are stressed and overloaded.

But as a cohort overall, the students are collaborative and kind to each other. They are heavily involved in clubs and activities and tend to make friends in different groups.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DS has not found it to be hyper competitive. Heavy workload but nicely collaborative. We were hesitant because his experience at the Cold Spring magnet was very...different. Glad to be pleasantly surprised with RMIB.

That's because RMIB is made up of kids from all over, and not just W schools.

You do you, but my DD is from W cluster, and she is not competitive at all (like, she wouldn't play competitive board games etc.). She has a large group of friends who are not competitive either. Achievement-oriented - maybe, hard-working - maybe, but collaborative and kind. Everyone makes of it what they make of it.

[Anonymous]

OP here: This has been so helpful, everyone. Thank you.

DC finally has a solid friend crew this year (after moving around for CES, then distance learning, then MS being a hot mess post-covid), and he’s trying to cling to some familiarity. Which I totally understand, but we’re in the DCC and the friends are all scattering anyway. I don’t mind pushing back for the right program fit, but I wanted to look more into his professed concerns and allay them if possible. His MS friends are still in the neighborhood and not going anywhere, so I’m hoping that does the trick to tide him over socially.

Thanks again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DS has not found it to be hyper competitive. Heavy workload but nicely collaborative. We were hesitant because his experience at the Cold Spring magnet was very...different. Glad to be pleasantly surprised with RMIB.

That's because RMIB is made up of kids from all over, and not just W schools.

You do you, but my DD is from W cluster, and she is not competitive at all (like, she wouldn't play competitive board games etc.). She has a large group of friends who are not competitive either. Achievement-oriented - maybe, hard-working - maybe, but collaborative and kind. Everyone makes of it what they make of it.

PP was referring to Cold Spring magnet, a W school cluster. That was the ^PPs experience.

RMIB is made up of kids from all over. DC said there seemed to be a lot of kids from Germantown/Clarksburg.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, I just assumed it was toxic because the parents here are so horrible.

[Anonymous]

My kid's RMIB shadow day invitation says to plan to stay longer and audition if you play an instrument - does that mean band class is audition only at RMIB? And is that typical? Kid is deciding between RMIB and Blair and likes/wants to continue an instrument but is not a super-confident and talented musician - more of a hard worker who wants to be part of the band.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter graduated from RMIB in 2023. Yes, it's a lot of hard work, but she did not find it toxic at all. The administration is great, the program is great, and she has an amazing group of close and supportive friends who collaborated rather than competing with each other. If it were me, I'd take RMIB over Einstein for my kid.

I've never heard it being described as toxic. It's a challenging program for some of the brightest kids in MCPS. I'd be prepared to work hard. I've heard the workload is heavier than SMCS even.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid's RMIB shadow day invitation says to plan to stay longer and audition if you play an instrument - does that mean band class is audition only at RMIB? And is that typical? Kid is deciding between RMIB and Blair and likes/wants to continue an instrument but is not a super-confident and talented musician - more of a hard worker who wants to be part of the band.

Not at all. My DC is in band and never auditioned, just takes it as an elective. They’re also in RMIB.