Do some parents truly welcome siblings when venues have limits?

[Anonymous]

I do, so at least some parents do. I also make extra goodie bags and have extra food, just in case.

[Anonymous]

Not sure what you are asking. We have done bday parties and said explicitly "siblings welcome" and other times were silent but some people brought siblings. Like some PPs, overall I like to because the subs are often close in age to my other kid and in preschool days I knew the families and the siblings.

Usually people are not bringing all the siblings even if it's allowed. Parties conflict with other commitments, naps, the venue/event may not be fun for certain ages etc. it's a mix. But we have chosen venues and invite lists based on wanting to welcome siblings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We did, because my child was special needs and we often got a poor response to party invitations.

I have a SNs kid and this response hit me. We have to cast a wider net for his parties than our NT kid’s invite list.

You’re not alone.

[Anonymous]

I prefer to include siblings and try to push my kids towards parties that accommodate that but when they really want a specific venue with a limit I make it really clear in the invitation that we can't accommodate siblings and the reason why (IE, space can only hold 20 kids max).

At the end of the day the birthday party IS about the kid celebrating and I try to encourage them to want to include as many as possible but not to the extent that they give up on something they really want to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not sure what you are asking. We have done bday parties and said explicitly "siblings welcome" and other times were silent but some people brought siblings. Like some PPs, overall I like to because the subs are often close in age to my other kid and in preschool days I knew the families and the siblings.

Usually people are not bringing all the siblings even if it's allowed. Parties conflict with other commitments, naps, the venue/event may not be fun for certain ages etc. it's a mix. But we have chosen venues and invite lists based on wanting to welcome siblings.

OP here. I have 3 kids and have thrown a lot of parties over the years. When my kids were younger and in preschool, siblings were often included. I had 2 kids close together in age and I didn’t really care if I took one kid, both kids or the whole family. DH was happy to stay back with our other kid(s).

It just seems like some families on DCUM and in real life want or expect the entire family to be invited when there is an all class party. I should have specified that this is elementary school.

I actually didn’t have all class parties for my older kids when they were this age. It would have been too many people so I only invited their actual friends or just the one sex.

This is the last all class party I throw ever.

[Anonymous]

At venues, I try not to bring siblings. IF I do, I pay their own way. And I try to talk to them about “don’t ask for the pizza or cake unless they offer.” They may not have enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It can certainly be done if it’s important to you / your kid. My son recently had his bday party in a huge space. It was a nerf party and the guy setting it up brought like 40 nerf guns. We had people rsvp the day of (ugh!) and people bring siblings with no heads up. I was glad I got to respond with grace (“of course your 4 kids are welcome!”) instead of stress.

Here’s why it worked - venue space wasn’t per kid; I didn’t do party bags; I purchased two sheet cakes to be safe (and went through both of them!) and the party was 1-3 pm so just had snacks, no meal.

I think if you’re doing it at a “pay per kid” venue, most parents will be sensitive to bringing extra siblings.

Cheapo

All in, it was probably around $550. The nerf guy was $350 or $400 I think. He set everything up, ran the games and cleaned up afterward. We had snacks and drinks for both kids and adults. Sheet cakes were maybe $30 each.

I feel sad for you if you think you need to spend a lot of money to throw a party! Everyone had a great time. My kid really wanted a big party and this made him happy. And I was happy it was low stress and I could say “yes” to anyone wanting to bring siblings!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I prefer to include siblings and try to push my kids towards parties that accommodate that but when they really want a specific venue with a limit I make it really clear in the invitation that we can't accommodate siblings and the reason why (IE, space can only hold 20 kids max).

At the end of the day the birthday party IS about the kid celebrating and I try to encourage them to want to include as many as possible but not to the extent that they give up on something they really want to do.

THANK YOU!!!!

[Anonymous]

I have been in this spot. We did a whole class party when my DD was in kindergarten. We invited multiple kids in families where we knew them all well (long-time family friends) and then if people we didn't know asked about siblings and offered to pay, I said yes and insisted on paying. It was our first social interaction outside of school with a lot of these people and it is worth more to me to be inclusive. I think people appreciated it and my DD is a kid who genuinely loves being the center of a big bash so it made her day more fun. It was definitely expensive though and I do not expect other people to do this, nor do I ever ask to bring the non-invited kid to a party.

[Anonymous]

For some of my kids’ parties, I welcomed siblings and stated so on the invitation. Totally depended on the party location and the age of the kid. For others, I did not invite siblings and I don’t recall many asking to bring siblings (or bringing a sibling without asking). I usually had a few extra goody bags just in case and would accommodate if it all possible- what else can you do, at that point?

I have 3 DC and have never brought a sibling to a party unless it said “siblings welcome”.

However, if this is about that trampoline party post, I think you are missing the point. For a large public place (with lots of non party guests)- like a trampoline place, zoo or public park…who cares if a parent is present with a sibling IF they steer entirely clear of the party and pay their own way? That is not “attending the party”. Clearly this would only be possible if the attendees were old enough to be dropped off anyway (and that post was about a 12yo). If mom brings a young sibling and stays away from the party who cares? Older kid can come and find them/meet up when party is finished.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We did, because my child was special needs and we often got a poor response to party invitations.

I have a SNs kid and this response hit me. We have to cast a wider net for his parties than our NT kid’s invite list.

You’re not alone.

I have a SN kid who does not get invited to a lot of parties, which is why we always err on the side of including people. It is worth the extra $$$$ to me to teach that lesson to my kids, especially my NT one, but I get that this is an issue very close to my heart.

[Anonymous]

I never did.

[Anonymous]

Yes- but:

My kids all have birthdays at difficult times of year (very near major holidays or holiday weekends). I often still had their parties somewhat near their birthdays when they were little, but knew attendance would be an issue…so would use more flexible venues (or have at our house or the park) and cast a wider net and welcome siblings. Fun to get to know some of the families too, and fun for the sibs.

Once older, I did smaller parties and coordinated with closest friends who they would really want there. Obviously no sibs for those.

[Anonymous]

I’m cool with the siblings we know. Often the older sibling is at the same school and we a familiar with them due to past events.

[Anonymous]

Once I had a whole class party and I was already at 24 without my other children, so I rented a community center and hired a performer. We worded the invite “siblings welcome, let us know so we have enough cupcakes!” And we ended up with 36 - a mix of neighbors and siblings.

Other times I’ve had a strict limit of 20 per the venue and I extended invites specifically to siblings for 2 neighborhood families who invite both of my kids to both of their kids’ parties. I also “save” 1-2 spots just in case someone asks even though I put a note on the invite that said something like “unfortunately no siblings, we’re tight on space”. So no, I didn’t allow siblings for ALL families but I was prepared in case someone reached out to say it was an issue.

I think it’s fine to include or exclude siblings if you communicate clearly. I also think it’s ok to ask if you do it politely and accept the answer might be “sorry, but no”. The only thing that’s rude is rsvp’ing for 1 and showing up with 2-3 kids.