Vent: current landscape and player participation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Youth coach for last 10 years. Was w some bigger and more competitive clubs in Baltimore area.

Left for a club in DC area. Supposed to be giving more opportunities to kids/families who can’t afford traditional pay to play, scholarships etc.

Took over a 2005 team 3 seasons ago, I was told that the players tried to sabotage the past coach by not showing up and they barely tried.

Trying to get kids to come to practice was like pulling teeth. The kids who were good and took it serious left. We only trained twice a week and if I had 8 kids in a session is would have been a miracle. By their junior years they stopped caring bc they weren’t winning like when they were u12/u14.

Then I took an 06 team. I’ve lost probably 10-14 kids to ECNL or MLNext teams.

I’ve tried to reload w local DC kids w ability who say they wanna take it serious.

The problem is, we have given so many scholarships and opportunities to kids, and they just do what they want. They have no skin in the game, and they don’t commit.

It’s been really frustrating. Between the 05 and 06 teams I’ve had more kids just stop showing up and leave us hanging and all of them were on scholarship. I am having a hard time just fielding a full team for showcases.

It’s disappointing because…when the US failed to qualify for 2018 WC everyone obsessed over kids falling thru the cracks.

But kids are jumping through the cracks bc the current landscape is MLSNext/ECNL or bust. The kids look at our little NL team as a rec league team. Or they are scared to buy in.

Either way, it really sucks to go from competitive environments where kids show up every session and take it serious, you try to make a difference for kids who don’t have $5k a season to spend on youth soccer, you do it for 3 years and u end up moving backward. Yes there are the core group of 8-10 dedicated families, but you try to make a difference and give kids opps and they don’t even respect you enough to show up.

The parents quest for name-brand and Keeping up with the Jones's unfortunately filters down to the kids.
The substance of the sport and true development takes a backseat to bragging and IG, FB likes.

Once the love isn't for the sport, there won't be discipline and dedication.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here is why girls on our team skip practice (U15):
Homework demands are increasing once they hit 9th grade. Coach does not demand attendance
We aren't the top team and are treated as such meaning... we get late practice times, combined practices with other teams that does not help the team gel and there's some bullying from older girls (all of this leads to a toxic envt plus tired frustrated players)
Coaches try to be "cool"/"nice" and say playing another sport is ok but then we don't have the whole team at practices regularly

As of coach of older girls, I feel like I've been here. It sounds like you would like your DDs coach to be more demanding am I right? Do you think the team/other parents would support this move? What sort of expectations were set out at the beggining? Is this something new or something you were expecting when joining the team?

Sorry, but I always try to get more of the parents view of things where I can, and I see this sort of thing a lot, especially with lower teams.

I do wish the coach would be more demanding, or more specifically hold the girls accountable for their attendance. What are we teaching kids when they can "just skip" practice with no repercussions? I make my daughter go no matter what because she needs to learn to manage her time. If she has a night with "too much homework" that means she didn't plan ahead and/or use her time wisely. She feels that is unfair because she get the impression the coach doesn't care if they are there.

I bolded part of your response, because man that really hits. I wish this was communicated more often with coaches in these situations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would expect a sizeable discount if my child's team was always scheduled to practice with another team.

No discount and our coach misses about 1/4 of our games to be with their other team.

I would be requesting a partial refund, as you are not getting what you paid for: team practices on dedicated field space and a paid coach at practices and games.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Youth coach for last 10 years. Was w some bigger and more competitive clubs in Baltimore area.

Left for a club in DC area. Supposed to be giving more opportunities to kids/families who can’t afford traditional pay to play, scholarships etc.

Took over a 2005 team 3 seasons ago, I was told that the players tried to sabotage the past coach by not showing up and they barely tried.

Trying to get kids to come to practice was like pulling teeth. The kids who were good and took it serious left. We only trained twice a week and if I had 8 kids in a session is would have been a miracle. By their junior years they stopped caring bc they weren’t winning like when they were u12/u14.

Then I took an 06 team. I’ve lost probably 10-14 kids to ECNL or MLNext teams.

I’ve tried to reload w local DC kids w ability who say they wanna take it serious.

The problem is, we have given so many scholarships and opportunities to kids, and they just do what they want. They have no skin in the game, and they don’t commit.

It’s been really frustrating. Between the 05 and 06 teams I’ve had more kids just stop showing up and leave us hanging and all of them were on scholarship. I am having a hard time just fielding a full team for showcases.

It’s disappointing because…when the US failed to qualify for 2018 WC everyone obsessed over kids falling thru the cracks.

But kids are jumping through the cracks bc the current landscape is MLSNext/ECNL or bust. The kids look at our little NL team as a rec league team. Or they are scared to buy in.

Either way, it really sucks to go from competitive environments where kids show up every session and take it serious, you try to make a difference for kids who don’t have $5k a season to spend on youth soccer, you do it for 3 years and u end up moving backward. Yes there are the core group of 8-10 dedicated families, but you try to make a difference and give kids opps and they don’t even respect you enough to show up.

The parents quest for name-brand and Keeping up with the Jones's unfortunately filters down to the kids.
The substance of the sport and true development takes a backseat to bragging and IG, FB likes.

Once the love isn't for the sport, there won't be discipline and dedication.

On the flip side there is always the quest for "the best". Right now that seems to be promoted as MLSNext?ECNL, so I think it's natural for some folks to try and flock there, if they feel they have the talent ad desire to play at the "top" level. The other issue is there are so many leagues and tournaments that I feel sorry for the average travel parent trying to sort through it all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would expect a sizeable discount if my child's team was always scheduled to practice with another team.

No discount and our coach misses about 1/4 of our games to be with their other team.

Curious, how many teams does your coach have? Was this communicated ahead of time as a possibility?

2 teams and we knew once they were assigned, but not before we accepted the offer.

Man, that sounds like a crappy situation. Would you have still accepted the offer, hindsight being 20/20?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been coaching in the area for 13 years.

Part of me wants to congratulate you for working with kids who eventually move on to ECNL or MLSNext Teams. There are a lot of coaches who would like to work with that sort of talent, and hopefully some of that development was because of you.

The grass is always greener, and it's tough for smaller clubs who aren't at least 2 teams deep in each age group to field good teams consistently. The best you can hope for is that you're creating an environment and reputation that makes the prospect of leaving the team a very difficult decision. You will still lose players to what others perceive as better opportunities, but it is, what it is.

Coming from a poor family myself, families w/ low resources face more challenges than just the ability to pay for soccer. Are any of your players having transportation issues? Sometimes all it takes is to have that one or two families willing to make sure everyone gets to where they need to, to make a huge difference.

I don't know what club you are with, but it can also be a mentality people have with the club itself, especially if it's not their first choice. How the club presents itself matters.

I wish you luck! Been there, done that.

I’m OP and this resonated with me. I moved to this club because there is no way, playing growing up, my parents could afford for me to play for the clubs I was coaching at.

I was feeling like an imposter, even though I’ve always had a blast following the kids I’ve coached through college.

The kids don’t show up for any reason other than they have no experience being held accountable. There are coaches who take a “show up when you can” approach. I’m not one of them. I’m giving my 100% yo coach the team. The dedicated players are giving 100% to play and get better. What makes you special enough to be the exception, when you are the one who really needs to show up and get better??

I enjoy coaching kids w potential and who have passion. I am aware of the many challenges facing DC soccer, including (no offense) a hs league where the kids aren’t exactly getting better from the level of competition.

But when we try to control what we can control, showing up to matches and practices is top of the list. That’s the frustrating thing. Injuries happen, we aren’t as good as other teams, etc we can’t really control that.

But you can control the amount of effort you put in and it’s just sad and frustrating that so many kids don’t understand at a younger age what’s expected of them. I’m not saying it’s all the parents but like, my parents weren’t ever gonna be like “oh you can spit practice tonight” to hell with that. I signed up, I committed, I learned what it’s like to sacrifice and be part of the team.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would expect a sizeable discount if my child's team was always scheduled to practice with another team.

No discount and our coach misses about 1/4 of our games to be with their other team.

I would be requesting a partial refund, as you are not getting what you paid for: team practices on dedicated field space and a paid coach at practices and games.

Total nonsense for Coach to no show 25% of games. That shows they are just in it for the $$ and have no interest in development or really even winning.

I think the lack of interest also has to do with making varsity or not. If they play varsity, they will stick with travel year round. If not (and it’s hard to make varsity at some high schools), they will leave.

[Anonymous]

Even at the ECNL/MLS Next level this can be an issue. My son has been at multiple clubs and felt like a number of his teammates were not all that committed…a lot of skipping practices early in the week to “nurse an injury” and then showing up for the last practice before a game (and of course for the game). In fairness to the players, some of the practices left a lot to be desired and the coaches - generally - were very negative and provided little constructive feedback.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Youth coach for last 10 years. Was w some bigger and more competitive clubs in Baltimore area.

Left for a club in DC area. Supposed to be giving more opportunities to kids/families who can’t afford traditional pay to play, scholarships etc.

Took over a 2005 team 3 seasons ago, I was told that the players tried to sabotage the past coach by not showing up and they barely tried.

Trying to get kids to come to practice was like pulling teeth. The kids who were good and took it serious left. We only trained twice a week and if I had 8 kids in a session is would have been a miracle. By their junior years they stopped caring bc they weren’t winning like when they were u12/u14.

Then I took an 06 team. I’ve lost probably 10-14 kids to ECNL or MLNext teams.

I’ve tried to reload w local DC kids w ability who say they wanna take it serious.

The problem is, we have given so many scholarships and opportunities to kids, and they just do what they want. They have no skin in the game, and they don’t commit.

It’s been really frustrating. Between the 05 and 06 teams I’ve had more kids just stop showing up and leave us hanging and all of them were on scholarship. I am having a hard time just fielding a full team for showcases.

It’s disappointing because…when the US failed to qualify for 2018 WC everyone obsessed over kids falling thru the cracks.

But kids are jumping through the cracks bc the current landscape is MLSNext/ECNL or bust. The kids look at our little NL team as a rec league team. Or they are scared to buy in.

Either way, it really sucks to go from competitive environments where kids show up every session and take it serious, you try to make a difference for kids who don’t have $5k a season to spend on youth soccer, you do it for 3 years and u end up moving backward. Yes there are the core group of 8-10 dedicated families, but you try to make a difference and give kids opps and they don’t even respect you enough to show up.

The parents quest for name-brand and Keeping up with the Jones's unfortunately filters down to the kids.
The substance of the sport and true development takes a backseat to bragging and IG, FB likes.

Once the love isn't for the sport, there won't be discipline and dedication.

On the flip side there is always the quest for "the best". Right now that seems to be promoted as MLSNext?ECNL, so I think it's natural for some folks to try and flock there, if they feel they have the talent ad desire to play at the "top" level. The other issue is there are so many leagues and tournaments that I feel sorry for the average travel parent trying to sort through it all.

When the coaches are tyrants and the club's MLS Next team(s) are bottom dwellers getting blown out every week, I doubt just jumping from wherever you are to there is automatically the best choice for all.
Especially if you're leaving behind a good coach and environment and you're developing well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would expect a sizeable discount if my child's team was always scheduled to practice with another team.

No discount and our coach misses about 1/4 of our games to be with their other team.

I would be requesting a partial refund, as you are not getting what you paid for: team practices on dedicated field space and a paid coach at practices and games.

Total nonsense for Coach to no show 25% of games. That shows they are just in it for the $$ and have no interest in development or really even winning.

I think the lack of interest also has to do with making varsity or not. If they play varsity, they will stick with travel year round. If not (and it’s hard to make varsity at some high schools), they will leave.

For coaches that coach multiple teams, especially in different leagues, trying to get your games deconflicted is impossible. This is worse if you have teams in different tournaments. Not saying it's right, but only so much a coach can do in these situations. In my experience the older teams or the "higher" teams tend to get the priority in these situations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Youth coach for last 10 years. Was w some bigger and more competitive clubs in Baltimore area.

Left for a club in DC area. Supposed to be giving more opportunities to kids/families who can’t afford traditional pay to play, scholarships etc.

Took over a 2005 team 3 seasons ago, I was told that the players tried to sabotage the past coach by not showing up and they barely tried.

Trying to get kids to come to practice was like pulling teeth. The kids who were good and took it serious left. We only trained twice a week and if I had 8 kids in a session is would have been a miracle. By their junior years they stopped caring bc they weren’t winning like when they were u12/u14.

Then I took an 06 team. I’ve lost probably 10-14 kids to ECNL or MLNext teams.

I’ve tried to reload w local DC kids w ability who say they wanna take it serious.

The problem is, we have given so many scholarships and opportunities to kids, and they just do what they want. They have no skin in the game, and they don’t commit.

It’s been really frustrating. Between the 05 and 06 teams I’ve had more kids just stop showing up and leave us hanging and all of them were on scholarship. I am having a hard time just fielding a full team for showcases.

It’s disappointing because…when the US failed to qualify for 2018 WC everyone obsessed over kids falling thru the cracks.

But kids are jumping through the cracks bc the current landscape is MLSNext/ECNL or bust. The kids look at our little NL team as a rec league team. Or they are scared to buy in.

Either way, it really sucks to go from competitive environments where kids show up every session and take it serious, you try to make a difference for kids who don’t have $5k a season to spend on youth soccer, you do it for 3 years and u end up moving backward. Yes there are the core group of 8-10 dedicated families, but you try to make a difference and give kids opps and they don’t even respect you enough to show up.

The parents quest for name-brand and Keeping up with the Jones's unfortunately filters down to the kids.
The substance of the sport and true development takes a backseat to bragging and IG, FB likes.

Once the love isn't for the sport, there won't be discipline and dedication.

On the flip side there is always the quest for "the best". Right now that seems to be promoted as MLSNext?ECNL, so I think it's natural for some folks to try and flock there, if they feel they have the talent ad desire to play at the "top" level. The other issue is there are so many leagues and tournaments that I feel sorry for the average travel parent trying to sort through it all.

When the coaches are tyrants and the club's MLS Next team(s) are bottom dwellers getting blown out every week, I doubt just jumping from wherever you are to there is automatically the best choice for all.
Especially if you're leaving behind a good coach and environment and you're developing well.

Not saying it's the best choice, sometimes it isn't. I'm just saying the perception is that there may be a better opportunity. I doubt most parents spend the time to research the coach/club very much prior to trying out and accepting an offer on what they perceive as a better team.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Youth coach for last 10 years. Was w some bigger and more competitive clubs in Baltimore area.

Left for a club in DC area. Supposed to be giving more opportunities to kids/families who can’t afford traditional pay to play, scholarships etc.

Took over a 2005 team 3 seasons ago, I was told that the players tried to sabotage the past coach by not showing up and they barely tried.

Trying to get kids to come to practice was like pulling teeth. The kids who were good and took it serious left. We only trained twice a week and if I had 8 kids in a session is would have been a miracle. By their junior years they stopped caring bc they weren’t winning like when they were u12/u14.

Then I took an 06 team. I’ve lost probably 10-14 kids to ECNL or MLNext teams.

I’ve tried to reload w local DC kids w ability who say they wanna take it serious.

The problem is, we have given so many scholarships and opportunities to kids, and they just do what they want. They have no skin in the game, and they don’t commit.

It’s been really frustrating. Between the 05 and 06 teams I’ve had more kids just stop showing up and leave us hanging and all of them were on scholarship. I am having a hard time just fielding a full team for showcases.

It’s disappointing because…when the US failed to qualify for 2018 WC everyone obsessed over kids falling thru the cracks.

But kids are jumping through the cracks bc the current landscape is MLSNext/ECNL or bust. The kids look at our little NL team as a rec league team. Or they are scared to buy in.

Either way, it really sucks to go from competitive environments where kids show up every session and take it serious, you try to make a difference for kids who don’t have $5k a season to spend on youth soccer, you do it for 3 years and u end up moving backward. Yes there are the core group of 8-10 dedicated families, but you try to make a difference and give kids opps and they don’t even respect you enough to show up.

The parents quest for name-brand and Keeping up with the Jones's unfortunately filters down to the kids.
The substance of the sport and true development takes a backseat to bragging and IG, FB likes.

Once the love isn't for the sport, there won't be discipline and dedication.

On the flip side there is always the quest for "the best". Right now that seems to be promoted as MLSNext?ECNL, so I think it's natural for some folks to try and flock there, if they feel they have the talent ad desire to play at the "top" level. The other issue is there are so many leagues and tournaments that I feel sorry for the average travel parent trying to sort through it all.

When the coaches are tyrants and the club's MLS Next team(s) are bottom dwellers getting blown out every week, I doubt just jumping from wherever you are to there is automatically the best choice for all.
Especially if you're leaving behind a good coach and environment and you're developing well.

It depends on the goal. For a highs school aged boy who wants to play in college, they are better off with a tyrant coach and little development in an MLS academy than with an amazing coach at a club playing in the NCSL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Youth coach for last 10 years. Was w some bigger and more competitive clubs in Baltimore area.

Left for a club in DC area. Supposed to be giving more opportunities to kids/families who can’t afford traditional pay to play, scholarships etc.

Took over a 2005 team 3 seasons ago, I was told that the players tried to sabotage the past coach by not showing up and they barely tried.

Trying to get kids to come to practice was like pulling teeth. The kids who were good and took it serious left. We only trained twice a week and if I had 8 kids in a session is would have been a miracle. By their junior years they stopped caring bc they weren’t winning like when they were u12/u14.

Then I took an 06 team. I’ve lost probably 10-14 kids to ECNL or MLNext teams.

I’ve tried to reload w local DC kids w ability who say they wanna take it serious.

The problem is, we have given so many scholarships and opportunities to kids, and they just do what they want. They have no skin in the game, and they don’t commit.

It’s been really frustrating. Between the 05 and 06 teams I’ve had more kids just stop showing up and leave us hanging and all of them were on scholarship. I am having a hard time just fielding a full team for showcases.

It’s disappointing because…when the US failed to qualify for 2018 WC everyone obsessed over kids falling thru the cracks.

But kids are jumping through the cracks bc the current landscape is MLSNext/ECNL or bust. The kids look at our little NL team as a rec league team. Or they are scared to buy in.

Either way, it really sucks to go from competitive environments where kids show up every session and take it serious, you try to make a difference for kids who don’t have $5k a season to spend on youth soccer, you do it for 3 years and u end up moving backward. Yes there are the core group of 8-10 dedicated families, but you try to make a difference and give kids opps and they don’t even respect you enough to show up.

The parents quest for name-brand and Keeping up with the Jones's unfortunately filters down to the kids.
The substance of the sport and true development takes a backseat to bragging and IG, FB likes.

Once the love isn't for the sport, there won't be discipline and dedication.

On the flip side there is always the quest for "the best". Right now that seems to be promoted as MLSNext?ECNL, so I think it's natural for some folks to try and flock there, if they feel they have the talent ad desire to play at the "top" level. The other issue is there are so many leagues and tournaments that I feel sorry for the average travel parent trying to sort through it all.

When the coaches are tyrants and the club's MLS Next team(s) are bottom dwellers getting blown out every week, I doubt just jumping from wherever you are to there is automatically the best choice for all.
Especially if you're leaving behind a good coach and environment and you're developing well.

It depends on the goal. For a highs school aged boy who wants to play in college, they are better off with a tyrant coach and little development in an MLS academy than with an amazing coach at a club playing in the NCSL

Are you saying MLS Club Academy or MLS Next team?

Assuming you're saying MLS Next team. Why would a college coach scouting individual players be more interested on a player on a weak MLS Next team than the same quality player on a well coached 'other' team?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Youth coach for last 10 years. Was w some bigger and more competitive clubs in Baltimore area.

Left for a club in DC area. Supposed to be giving more opportunities to kids/families who can’t afford traditional pay to play, scholarships etc.

Took over a 2005 team 3 seasons ago, I was told that the players tried to sabotage the past coach by not showing up and they barely tried.

Trying to get kids to come to practice was like pulling teeth. The kids who were good and took it serious left. We only trained twice a week and if I had 8 kids in a session is would have been a miracle. By their junior years they stopped caring bc they weren’t winning like when they were u12/u14.

Then I took an 06 team. I’ve lost probably 10-14 kids to ECNL or MLNext teams.

I’ve tried to reload w local DC kids w ability who say they wanna take it serious.

The problem is, we have given so many scholarships and opportunities to kids, and they just do what they want. They have no skin in the game, and they don’t commit.

It’s been really frustrating. Between the 05 and 06 teams I’ve had more kids just stop showing up and leave us hanging and all of them were on scholarship. I am having a hard time just fielding a full team for showcases.

It’s disappointing because…when the US failed to qualify for 2018 WC everyone obsessed over kids falling thru the cracks.

But kids are jumping through the cracks bc the current landscape is MLSNext/ECNL or bust. The kids look at our little NL team as a rec league team. Or they are scared to buy in.

Either way, it really sucks to go from competitive environments where kids show up every session and take it serious, you try to make a difference for kids who don’t have $5k a season to spend on youth soccer, you do it for 3 years and u end up moving backward. Yes there are the core group of 8-10 dedicated families, but you try to make a difference and give kids opps and they don’t even respect you enough to show up.

The parents quest for name-brand and Keeping up with the Jones's unfortunately filters down to the kids.
The substance of the sport and true development takes a backseat to bragging and IG, FB likes.

Once the love isn't for the sport, there won't be discipline and dedication.

On the flip side there is always the quest for "the best". Right now that seems to be promoted as MLSNext?ECNL, so I think it's natural for some folks to try and flock there, if they feel they have the talent ad desire to play at the "top" level. The other issue is there are so many leagues and tournaments that I feel sorry for the average travel parent trying to sort through it all.

When the coaches are tyrants and the club's MLS Next team(s) are bottom dwellers getting blown out every week, I doubt just jumping from wherever you are to there is automatically the best choice for all.
Especially if you're leaving behind a good coach and environment and you're developing well.

It depends on the goal. For a highs school aged boy who wants to play in college, they are better off with a tyrant coach and little development in an MLS academy than with an amazing coach at a club playing in the NCSL

Are you saying MLS Club Academy or MLS Next team?

Assuming you're saying MLS Next team. Why would a college coach scouting individual players be more interested on a player on a weak MLS Next team than the same quality player on a well coached 'other' team?

MLS academy is a team in a club academy, but either is a better position to be in than an NCSL team because the NCSL player will have a much harder time getting scouted in the first place. College soccer budgets are not large. Certain leagues and tournaments are going to be heavily scouted because that is where most of the talent plays. Other leagues will never see a scout. MLSnext (as well as MLS academies) are in the former. NCSL is strongly in the later

[Anonymous]

just for clarification
MLS professional club academy team is free

MLS Next team is a team in a club and is pay-to-play