If your kid has done therapy, did it help?

[Anonymous]

Didn’t do a thing for either of my kids. One was 8/9 and didn’t want to be there, and turns out her “anxiety” was undiagnosed adhd. Her therapist tried though.

My teen had two different therapists and she wanted to go but just wouldn’t talk to them about anything but shallow stuff so the therapists eventually told me that I was wasting my money really although never fired us or anything. In the end, some strong friendships are really what turned it around for her. That said she doesn’t view therapy negatively and I think would get more from it now that she’s opened up a bit emotionally. She has therapist diagnosed ocd (not from a psych and it’s not debilitating so idk what to think) and had suffered from eating issues and self harm but no more since her social connections improved.

[Anonymous]

Yes. My kids started young - my youngest was 5. Had fairly crippling anxiety. My older asked to go when her sister did. We've had good experiences and I think it really helps them.

The other reason I like it for them is that they are learning healthy boundaries and coping behaviors that I did not. They will feel comfortable reaching out for help in adulthood - a skill I have not yet mastered at 52.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I helped our teen. They ended up in residential treatment for a while but I think the therapy gave them so new ways to think about themselves and their relationships.

Finding a good therapist who has productive chemistry with your kid and is accepting new patients and takes your insurance can be daunting. The first or second therapist might not work out. We got a referral from one overbooked therapist and it was a good match. Except they didn't take any insurance. At some point in the journey we decided to just burn all our money.

It ended well but has been the hardest thing in my marriage.

Your post is confusing. You said you helped your teen as if you didn’t get therapy?

[Anonymous]

We tried 3 therapists for our son who is now a teenager, none of whom we found particularly helpful. He was a shy, socially awkward, quirky child who had no friends growing up. We had him tested extensively but he didn’t meet the criteria for any disorder.

In the end, the best thing that happened to him was his tennis coach. He truly inspired him, gave him a ton of confidence and turned him around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We tried 3 therapists for our son who is now a teenager, none of whom we found particularly helpful. He was a shy, socially awkward, quirky child who had no friends growing up. We had him tested extensively but he didn’t meet the criteria for any disorder.

In the end, the best thing that happened to him was his tennis coach. He truly inspired him, gave him a ton of confidence and turned him around.

That’s awesome! Amazing what a relationship with a caring adult who isn’t you parent can do! I posted above that my 8th grader benefited from therapy. Interestingly, when we quit therapy during Covid he started working out with a personal trainer (outside and virtually during Covid). That relationship helped him too!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I helped our teen. They ended up in residential treatment for a while but I think the therapy gave them so new ways to think about themselves and their relationships.

Finding a good therapist who has productive chemistry with your kid and is accepting new patients and takes your insurance can be daunting. The first or second therapist might not work out. We got a referral from one overbooked therapist and it was a good match. Except they didn't take any insurance. At some point in the journey we decided to just burn all our money.

It ended well but has been the hardest thing in my marriage.

Your post is confusing. You said you helped your teen as if you didn’t get therapy?

Clearly it’s a typo and “I” be “It”. Come on now.

[Anonymous]

Looking back now that our kid is a young adult

No it didn’t help but at the time we said it did

In hindsight we realized that what really helped was maturity and finally getting the right meds and being on them for a long stretch

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We tried 3 therapists for our son who is now a teenager, none of whom we found particularly helpful. He was a shy, socially awkward, quirky child who had no friends growing up. We had him tested extensively but he didn’t meet the criteria for any disorder.

In the end, the best thing that happened to him was his tennis coach. He truly inspired him, gave him a ton of confidence and turned him around.

This post reminds me so much of myself as an adolescent. In the end it was my flute teacher that became the trusted adult I could open up with. My parents kept the lessons going even though I dropped band mid-way through 11th grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Looking back now that our kid is a young adult

No it didn’t help but at the time we said it did

In hindsight we realized that what really helped was maturity and finally getting the right meds and being on them for a long stretch

Yes I do think therapy can be helpful for some kids but I think it’s over suggested, and if you have to shop around for years, how do you really know it’s the therapy or just time/maturity/external factors? Because both of my kids improved after quitting therapy due to all of these reasons.

[Anonymous]

My DS was in therapy for years (14 years old - 18) and, yes, it helped. It was a long process, though. He didn't really open up to his therapist for probably a year - maybe even longer. Had he not had therapy, his life probably would have ended up largely the same (e.g., he is not in college and college may never be in the cards despite his keen intellect), but he has words, tools, and a self-awareness that he wouldn't have had without it. And he knows that we love him. If he hadn't had therapy, his navel-gazing may have prevented him from realizing it.

[Anonymous]

Unless trauma related that they all experienced (eg, parental divorce), I think that if 2 of your 3 children need therapy, that should be a red flag.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I helped our teen. They ended up in residential treatment for a while but I think the therapy gave them so new ways to think about themselves and their relationships.

Finding a good therapist who has productive chemistry with your kid and is accepting new patients and takes your insurance can be daunting. The first or second therapist might not work out. We got a referral from one overbooked therapist and it was a good match. Except they didn't take any insurance. At some point in the journey we decided to just burn all our money.

It ended well but has been the hardest thing in my marriage.

Your post is confusing. You said you helped your teen as if you didn’t get therapy?

It’s obviously a typo. Should be “It” not “I”.

[Anonymous]

Yes- tremendously

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unless trauma related that they all experienced (eg, parental divorce), I think that if 2 of your 3 children need therapy, that should be a red flag.

You are ridiculous. There is a genetic component to ADHD, anxiety, depression, etc.

It also reflects an open attitude toward therapy- some parents (like us) see it as a tool to be used as needed, not a last resort when a child is in crisis.

Two of my kids have gone to therapy, one of them twice. They go for a few months to work on specific skills - just like one might send their child to OT or Speech therapy.

[Anonymous]

Yes, she was wasting away and I was seriously worried she'd drop dead of a heart attack from how little she was eating. She now eats (still not enough, but at least twice a day) and has gained weight.