Assault on campus. How involved would you get?

[Anonymous]

What exactly does "reign (rain) hell" mean, in real terms? Kill the perpetrators for revenge?

It's easy to be mad. It's harder to act productively.

[Anonymous]

My DD was raped on campus by an acquaintance. She started down the road of pressing charges and started to receive threats from his friends. He was suspended from university which was later dropped after he voluntarily withdrew. DD ended up dropping the case with police/Special Victims Unit. I tried to convince her not to drop since there was a lot of evidence but she make the choice that dropping enabled her to get it behind her quicker. She did counseling too. I think it is easy to judge until you walk in their shoes.

[Anonymous]

My daughter was also raped by another student at her college. It went nowhere because the involvement of intoxication meant that "she couldn't be sure that she said no." Perhaps the victim has been told something similar.

[Anonymous]

I am so sorry. I wish healing upon all of you and your children who have been victims of this horrific crime.

[Anonymous]

This is frighteningly common.

See the hunting ground.

There may but be much the mom can do.

Priority should be the daughter’s mental health.

She sounds brave.

[Anonymous]

* may not be much

[Anonymous]

Hunting Ground is a great movie, all parents should see before their daughters start college.

[Anonymous]

I was sexually assaulted on campus. I did not tell my parents. And most of the acquaintances who found out were not supportive and accused me of making things unnecessarily difficult when I spoke up.

The one thing I tell all parents of college aged kids and will tell my DD in a few years: do NOT go through a campus adjudication process. Do not go through campus police. Go straight to the police for the city in which the college is.

I was discouraged by my dean- just short of the point of being threatened- from reporting my assault to the town police. I was repeatedly assured that it would be dealt with better through the university process.

I found out later that my assailant had assaulted 8+ women, and only me and one other woman went to the town police and pressed charges. The ones who reported it through the university process were offered mediation and other dumb options. It took 10 months for my case to go to court, and my assailant was free to live his life that entire time.

Infuriatingly, after I stayed a week into winter break for my court date, the prosecutor settled the day before I was to give my testimony in court and I never got to stand up to my assailant. But if I had not gone through an off-campus legal system, he would have never had any charges on his record and would have been free to return to the town and campus with impunity- after they settled, he left forever.

Do not seek justice within a university- they are on their own side, not yours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was sexually assaulted on campus. I did not tell my parents. And most of the acquaintances who found out were not supportive and accused me of making things unnecessarily difficult when I spoke up.

The one thing I tell all parents of college aged kids and will tell my DD in a few years: do NOT go through a campus adjudication process. Do not go through campus police. Go straight to the police for the city in which the college is.

I was discouraged by my dean- just short of the point of being threatened- from reporting my assault to the town police. I was repeatedly assured that it would be dealt with better through the university process.

I found out later that my assailant had assaulted 8+ women, and only me and one other woman went to the town police and pressed charges. The ones who reported it through the university process were offered mediation and other dumb options. It took 10 months for my case to go to court, and my assailant was free to live his life that entire time.

Infuriatingly, after I stayed a week into winter break for my court date, the prosecutor settled the day before I was to give my testimony in court and I never got to stand up to my assailant. But if I had not gone through an off-campus legal system, he would have never had any charges on his record and would have been free to return to the town and campus with impunity- after they settled, he left forever.

Do not seek justice within a university- they are on their own side, not yours.

Thank you for being brave, and contributing to the prevention of future assaults! 🤗

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is not my child but the child of a friend. Majority of this happened last spring when she was a junior. Was sexually assaulted on campus at least three boys. It was filmed. Everyone involved was intoxicated. Girl decides not to press charges but video makes the rounds. Students push to suspend students seen assaulting girl but school doesn’t act on it. Boys face no repercussions.

Come this fall one of the boys is accused of raping two freshmen girl. Girls press charges. Case not going far and friends daughter (now 22) decides to press charges against all three boys. She submits video as proof and they are charged and university suspends them from athletics but not campus. Case ongoing.

Girl has received countless death threats and some unfair treatment from one professor. She had one term left but it’s so bad she’s debating leaving.

My friend seems heartbroken but hasn’t done much as far as helping her with legal process or pushing for her safety on campus.

I hope I’m never in this position but I feel like I’d reign hell upon the university and those boys from day 1. Even if my kid was an adult (my kids are still teens). Her hands off approach is bizarre to me.

Those with adult kids, how much would you intervene? This just feels like a lot for anyone to handle, especially a college student.

Time for FBI not local police

And lawyers good ones.

[Anonymous]

I’m so sorry to hear this. If there is sexual harassment / retaliation you, the victims, her parents etc (ie anyone) can file a complaint with the department of Education’s Office for Civil Rights (OCR). Retaliation and harassment (including assault) are violations under Title IX and colleges can be forced to make certain changes to their polices if they want to retain Title IX funding. It’s not the same as a criminal prosecution but if the college isn’t investigating seriously it’s something.

[Anonymous]

Find a Title IX case to sue the school. They will not charge the girl because the university is liable for her attorney fees. (It's called statutory fee shifting, and I luv it.) The lawsuit will cost the university north of $2MM in their legal fees alone.

[Anonymous]

As a female, i personally hate stuff like this. They were all intoxicated, including the female but the males should get charges pressed against them? I wish the men would say f this, let me press charges against the female. Who is to say it was not agreed upon if they were all intoxicated? Hard to prove, even with a tape of the sex act. But what should you do? Mind your own business… how do you know the adult daughter does not want her mother involved?

[Anonymous]

"For sending out a pornographic video without the girl’s consent, however, should be enough for expulsion"

Any lawyer will tell you that school is screwed if this video actually made the rounds.

Sue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a female, i personally hate stuff like this. They were all intoxicated, including the female but the males should get charges pressed against them? I wish the men would say f this, let me press charges against the female. Who is to say it was not agreed upon if they were all intoxicated? Hard to prove, even with a tape of the sex act. But what should you do? Mind your own business… how do you know the adult daughter does not want her mother involved?

I don’t believe you’re a woman.

“As a female….”