35 with DOR--what are my chances?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At 34 I had severe DOR -- AMH was "undetectable" and I can't remember my FSH but I think it was around 14. I went to Cornell after 3 losses, and now have 2 kids with my own eggs. In my case, I also had undiagnosed hashimotos. One pregnancy was natural but with clomid and progesterone; one was medicated IUI. I had decided I wasn't even going to try IVF with my numbers and go straight to donor eggs when I got pregnant the first time. For my second we thought we'd try IUI bc it was low-stakes, covered by insurance, and it worked on the first try. I think I was extremely lucky, but here I am. The numbers were really devastating when I first got them.

I have hashimoto as well and i strongly believe it impacted my fertility!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You may not be there yet, but I would encourage you to think about donor eggs. I had DOR in my early thirties. 3 IUIs and 8 rounds of OE IVF came to Nothing but many years lost. Three rounds of DE IVF between 37 and 42 gave me three amazing kids. Getting to the other side of infertility allows you to get on with your life.

Some people won't use donor eggs for ethical reasons.

Sure. But plenty of people do use them. OP might be one of them. For people whose primary problem is egg quality, it’s one of the only solutions that actually works.

And, in my experience, the only people who have an ethical problem with donor eggs are fertile people with kids of their own. It’s easy to be judgmental from the sidelines of infertility. I ignore those people and enjoy every day being a mom to my amazing kids (who know all about their donor status and, while mildly curious, are definitely not overly focused on it as part of their identity.)

Please don’t generalize! Many people dealing with infertility wouldn’t consider DE for personal/ethical and religious reasons etc (I am one of them)!
It’s not just the fertile people with kids of their own!
I personally worry about if siblings (that were donated as embryos to different families) eventually end up marrying each other! it will be a mess!
Glad though to hear you are open with your kids about it! Unfortunately not everyone is!
Wishing you all the best and I sincerely don’t mean any offense to you or your family in any way!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You may not be there yet, but I would encourage you to think about donor eggs. I had DOR in my early thirties. 3 IUIs and 8 rounds of OE IVF came to Nothing but many years lost. Three rounds of DE IVF between 37 and 42 gave me three amazing kids. Getting to the other side of infertility allows you to get on with your life.

Some people won't use donor eggs for ethical reasons.

Sure. But plenty of people do use them. OP might be one of them. For people whose primary problem is egg quality, it’s one of the only solutions that actually works.

And, in my experience, the only people who have an ethical problem with donor eggs are fertile people with kids of their own. It’s easy to be judgmental from the sidelines of infertility. I ignore those people and enjoy every day being a mom to my amazing kids (who know all about their donor status and, while mildly curious, are definitely not overly focused on it as part of their identity.)

Please don’t generalize! Many people dealing with infertility wouldn’t consider DE for personal/ethical and religious reasons etc (I am one of them)!
It’s not just the fertile people with kids of their own!
I personally worry about if siblings (that were donated as embryos to different families) eventually end up marrying each other! it will be a mess!
Glad though to hear you are open with your kids about it! Unfortunately not everyone is!
Wishing you all the best and I sincerely don’t mean any offense to you or your family in any way!

Plus one with failed IVF cycles and morally against DE unless gifted to you by someone you know

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You may not be there yet, but I would encourage you to think about donor eggs. I had DOR in my early thirties. 3 IUIs and 8 rounds of OE IVF came to Nothing but many years lost. Three rounds of DE IVF between 37 and 42 gave me three amazing kids. Getting to the other side of infertility allows you to get on with your life.

Some people won't use donor eggs for ethical reasons.

Sure. But plenty of people do use them. OP might be one of them. For people whose primary problem is egg quality, it’s one of the only solutions that actually works.

And, in my experience, the only people who have an ethical problem with donor eggs are fertile people with kids of their own. It’s easy to be judgmental from the sidelines of infertility. I ignore those people and enjoy every day being a mom to my amazing kids (who know all about their donor status and, while mildly curious, are definitely not overly focused on it as part of their identity.)

Please don’t generalize! Many people dealing with infertility wouldn’t consider DE for personal/ethical and religious reasons etc (I am one of them)!
It’s not just the fertile people with kids of their own!
I personally worry about if siblings (that were donated as embryos to different families) eventually end up marrying each other! it will be a mess!
Glad though to hear you are open with your kids about it! Unfortunately not everyone is!
Wishing you all the best and I sincerely don’t mean any offense to you or your family in any way!

Plus one with failed IVF cycles and morally against DE unless gifted to you by someone you know

PP - no one is gifting me eggs lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You may not be there yet, but I would encourage you to think about donor eggs. I had DOR in my early thirties. 3 IUIs and 8 rounds of OE IVF came to Nothing but many years lost. Three rounds of DE IVF between 37 and 42 gave me three amazing kids. Getting to the other side of infertility allows you to get on with your life.

Some people won't use donor eggs for ethical reasons.

Sure. But plenty of people do use them. OP might be one of them. For people whose primary problem is egg quality, it’s one of the only solutions that actually works.

And, in my experience, the only people who have an ethical problem with donor eggs are fertile people with kids of their own. It’s easy to be judgmental from the sidelines of infertility. I ignore those people and enjoy every day being a mom to my amazing kids (who know all about their donor status and, while mildly curious, are definitely not overly focused on it as part of their identity.)

Please don’t generalize! Many people dealing with infertility wouldn’t consider DE for personal/ethical and religious reasons etc (I am one of them)!
It’s not just the fertile people with kids of their own!
I personally worry about if siblings (that were donated as embryos to different families) eventually end up marrying each other! it will be a mess!
Glad though to hear you are open with your kids about it! Unfortunately not everyone is!
Wishing you all the best and I sincerely don’t mean any offense to you or your family in any way!

Curious if you are also against sperm donor usage?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You may not be there yet, but I would encourage you to think about donor eggs. I had DOR in my early thirties. 3 IUIs and 8 rounds of OE IVF came to Nothing but many years lost. Three rounds of DE IVF between 37 and 42 gave me three amazing kids. Getting to the other side of infertility allows you to get on with your life.

Some people won't use donor eggs for ethical reasons.

Sure. But plenty of people do use them. OP might be one of them. For people whose primary problem is egg quality, it’s one of the only solutions that actually works.

And, in my experience, the only people who have an ethical problem with donor eggs are fertile people with kids of their own. It’s easy to be judgmental from the sidelines of infertility. I ignore those people and enjoy every day being a mom to my amazing kids (who know all about their donor status and, while mildly curious, are definitely not overly focused on it as part of their identity.)

Please don’t generalize! Many people dealing with infertility wouldn’t consider DE for personal/ethical and religious reasons etc (I am one of them)!
It’s not just the fertile people with kids of their own!
I personally worry about if siblings (that were donated as embryos to different families) eventually end up marrying each other! it will be a mess!
Glad though to hear you are open with your kids about it! Unfortunately not everyone is!
Wishing you all the best and I sincerely don’t mean any offense to you or your family in any way!

Curious if you are also against sperm donor usage?

Yes, I am against all donor options (egg, sperm, embryo).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Go to an RE that specializes in DOR. There are a few in Manhattan. Run actually.

BTDT.

Had a .3 AMH at 33, took many rounds to find the right clinic that wont just blast you with max stims and shrug. By 37 it was undetectable. I have two DD’s 7 and 2 (own eggs) that i had at 37 and 42 once i found the right clinic. For me in was Generation Next and Dr Luk. Good luck. We didnt want to use donor eggs for personal reasons

I am looking for an outside monitor in DMV area. I will start IVF with Dr Luk next month. May I which clinic you used for outside monitor? Better one that accepts my BCBS FEP insurance for the outside monitoring. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Dominion Fertility will do outside monitoring. Highly unlikely your insurance will cover it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Go to an RE that specializes in DOR. There are a few in Manhattan. Run actually.

BTDT.

Had a .3 AMH at 33, took many rounds to find the right clinic that wont just blast you with max stims and shrug. By 37 it was undetectable. I have two DD’s 7 and 2 (own eggs) that i had at 37 and 42 once i found the right clinic. For me in was Generation Next and Dr Luk. Good luck. We didnt want to use donor eggs for personal reasons

I am looking for an outside monitor in DMV area. I will start IVF with Dr Luk next month. May I which clinic you used for outside monitor? Better one that accepts my BCBS FEP insurance for the outside monitoring. Thanks.

I'm not the same poster but also did NYC/outside monitoring; after a lot of research, I went to Annandale OBGYN (they hvae multiple offices) because a lot of CNY patients go there, and they became so popular and well-versed in how to do the outside monitoring that they hired more technicians just to support this. It means early appts (like 7AM), but they can draw your blood on-site and send to Labcorp quickly to get the same-day results your clinic will require. Then closer to the retrieval, you'll go up to NYC for daily monitoring.

Also FWIW, I was 37 with bad DOR when I started for 2nd kid. Low AMH, high FSH (think it was 16 when I got tested at 37? eventually got it down to 12 but they say it's as good as your highest #), never conceived in 4 years of unprotected sex (our 1st kid was IUI baby), and did 5 IVF retrievals at 3 different clinics without success. Ended up conceiving naturally at 39 - so, I fully acknowledge these stories are rare and i personally hated hearing them bc realistically it doesn't happen for everyone and gives false hope. I guess my point is, unfortunately none of us hvae control over the final outcome - just know your limits and be open to anything and everything. I had pretty much given up and was trying to help my husband process the reality of having "only" one (which is a huge blessing in itself, I know), and originally said no to the wham-bam before I had to rush out of town lol. It was my husband who pressed, I ran out the door to catch my train, walked 30K steps in NYC the next 3 days and ate like total shit (was amaaaze) and that was my son.

Wishing you the best of luck, and whatever happens, that you are at peace with your journey.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Go to an RE that specializes in DOR. There are a few in Manhattan. Run actually.

BTDT.

Had a .3 AMH at 33, took many rounds to find the right clinic that wont just blast you with max stims and shrug. By 37 it was undetectable. I have two DD’s 7 and 2 (own eggs) that i had at 37 and 42 once i found the right clinic. For me in was Generation Next and Dr Luk. Good luck. We didnt want to use donor eggs for personal reasons

I am looking for an outside monitor in DMV area. I will start IVF with Dr Luk next month. May I which clinic you used for outside monitor? Better one that accepts my BCBS FEP insurance for the outside monitoring. Thanks.

I'm not the same poster but also did NYC/outside monitoring; after a lot of research, I went to Annandale OBGYN (they hvae multiple offices) because a lot of CNY patients go there, and they became so popular and well-versed in how to do the outside monitoring that they hired more technicians just to support this. It means early appts (like 7AM), but they can draw your blood on-site and send to Labcorp quickly to get the same-day results your clinic will require. Then closer to the retrieval, you'll go up to NYC for daily monitoring.

Also FWIW, I was 37 with bad DOR when I started for 2nd kid. Low AMH, high FSH (think it was 16 when I got tested at 37? eventually got it down to 12 but they say it's as good as your highest #), never conceived in 4 years of unprotected sex (our 1st kid was IUI baby), and did 5 IVF retrievals at 3 different clinics without success. Ended up conceiving naturally at 39 - so, I fully acknowledge these stories are rare and i personally hated hearing them bc realistically it doesn't happen for everyone and gives false hope. I guess my point is, unfortunately none of us hvae control over the final outcome - just know your limits and be open to anything and everything. I had pretty much given up and was trying to help my husband process the reality of having "only" one (which is a huge blessing in itself, I know), and originally said no to the wham-bam before I had to rush out of town lol. It was my husband who pressed, I ran out the door to catch my train, walked 30K steps in NYC the next 3 days and ate like total shit (was amaaaze) and that was my son.

Wishing you the best of luck, and whatever happens, that you are at peace with your journey.

Thank you sooooo much! Your story is very encouraging! Hopefully, everyone will get a happy result in the end. I took peter pan bus from union station to NYC. 4.5 hours each way. really a tough choice. :<

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Go to an RE that specializes in DOR. There are a few in Manhattan. Run actually.

BTDT.

Had a .3 AMH at 33, took many rounds to find the right clinic that wont just blast you with max stims and shrug. By 37 it was undetectable. I have two DD’s 7 and 2 (own eggs) that i had at 37 and 42 once i found the right clinic. For me in was Generation Next and Dr Luk. Good luck. We didnt want to use donor eggs for personal reasons

I am looking for an outside monitor in DMV area. I will start IVF with Dr Luk next month. May I which clinic you used for outside monitor? Better one that accepts my BCBS FEP insurance for the outside monitoring. Thanks.

I'm not the same poster but also did NYC/outside monitoring; after a lot of research, I went to Annandale OBGYN (they hvae multiple offices) because a lot of CNY patients go there, and they became so popular and well-versed in how to do the outside monitoring that they hired more technicians just to support this. It means early appts (like 7AM), but they can draw your blood on-site and send to Labcorp quickly to get the same-day results your clinic will require. Then closer to the retrieval, you'll go up to NYC for daily monitoring.

Also FWIW, I was 37 with bad DOR when I started for 2nd kid. Low AMH, high FSH (think it was 16 when I got tested at 37? eventually got it down to 12 but they say it's as good as your highest #), never conceived in 4 years of unprotected sex (our 1st kid was IUI baby), and did 5 IVF retrievals at 3 different clinics without success. Ended up conceiving naturally at 39 - so, I fully acknowledge these stories are rare and i personally hated hearing them bc realistically it doesn't happen for everyone and gives false hope. I guess my point is, unfortunately none of us hvae control over the final outcome - just know your limits and be open to anything and everything. I had pretty much given up and was trying to help my husband process the reality of having "only" one (which is a huge blessing in itself, I know), and originally said no to the wham-bam before I had to rush out of town lol. It was my husband who pressed, I ran out the door to catch my train, walked 30K steps in NYC the next 3 days and ate like total shit (was amaaaze) and that was my son.

Wishing you the best of luck, and whatever happens, that you are at peace with your journey.

About 1 in 10 couples who gave up on IVF after one or more failed cycles will conceive.

We conceived on technically infertile sperm counts (<1 million).

You can't bank on it to start decorating a nursery, but it is worth trying every month.