Is any of the Big 3 (plus Potomac) might be a good fit for my high-functioning autistic child?

[Anonymous]

OP- I would absolutely disclose. Ultimately you want to be at a school that sees your child for who they are and wants them there. If they don't accept your child, who currently doesn't require extra support, because of a diagnosis, then ultimately it's unlikely to work out for you at the school anyways because what do you think their reaction will be when they learn of the diagnosis after he's enrolled or if he does need some support at some point? Ask your child's current teacher to be very explicit that he does not require anything not also provided to all the neurotypical kids in the class in the rec, be frank in your parent interview, and let the chips fall where they may.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you should just be honest in the process and talk to the schools about it. I'm betting all the schools you're targeting have students on the autism spectrum, but what you should be looking for is a school that could accommodate anything your child might need for supports.

Yes, they all do but they don’t knowingly admit them (unless BIG money/VIP, of course). And they will counsel out when they think a student is too much work. The families prefer it that way, too.

[Anonymous]

What are his autistic presentations, besides social awkwardness? At Potomac, they are required to do a lot of public speaking. At some schools they are required to do team sports or activities. At some schools a uniform is required, so if he has sensory issues that would make “real” pants a problem, ask about that. At all of the high schools, homework and the ability to complete it in a reasonable amount of time will make life better. At all the high schools, grading will feel arbitrary, so if fairness is a trigger for him, avoid these schools.

Hard to tell how they will serve him without knowing his presentation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Doesn't the application say that you need to disclose previous evaluations?

That seems pretty illegal.

It's a private school. What law do you think is broken?

Prefacing offering a service on knowledge of medical history? The ADA for one

So do you invoke the ADA when carnival rides descriminate on the basis of height, weight, and pregnancy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Private schools have no legal obligation to provide services or accommodations. By not bringing it up you have no idea if they are or are not supportive. Usually they are not supportive.

My child had a diagnosis several years after we started at one of the schools you referenced, since we started in preschool. The school has provided minimal accommodations and I definitely get the sense they would prefer not to have students like mine. We are looking at other options for middle school.

[Anonymous]

Ask yourself how you would handle it if his ASD became more of an obstacle to success at the school, or if he was counseled out. If you have a great by-right public as a backup and he wouldn't be devastated by it personally, then sure, take the risk. But if you think that situation would be tremendously hard for him or put you in a bad schooling situation, then I would look for a more supportive environment. Because things really can and do become harder in middle school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ask yourself how you would handle it if his ASD became more of an obstacle to success at the school, or if he was counseled out. If you have a great by-right public as a backup and he wouldn't be devastated by it personally, then sure, take the risk. But if you think that situation would be tremendously hard for him or put you in a bad schooling situation, then I would look for a more supportive environment. Because things really can and do become harder in middle school.

And when the going gets tough and a student really needs their teachers and counselors to support them and help through to the other side, these schools totally bail.

The discrimination against people with disabilities is unbelievable.

[Anonymous]

For all the complaints regarding the pressure, homework, etc of the Big3…why would you want your autistic child at these schools.

The prestige chasing is mind boggling, even when presented with a kid that likely needs a different school.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't send an autistic kid unless he was blow the doors off intelligent and effected in a very minor way. I think autism specifically is a disability where you are better off not pushing any academic limits, for the odd reason that it isn't the academics that's going to be limiting, but everything else. Less time doing homework -- because he can handle it at a less intense school more easily -- means more time socializing, working on sports/coordination, etc. Being one of the brighter ones in a class opens doors in high school, as well as college, that would remain shut to an autistic kid who was average.

[Anonymous]

I agree with PP. My DS is asd1, in private since before diagnosis (not big 3). The accommodations we get are pretty good. He mostly has executive function issues. I like that the academics are not stressful because a lot of the rest of the school atmosphere is stressful for him. I have no doubts he’ll go to college but maybe not ever move out, and I’m ok with that. We focus on creating a supportive environment and on fostering good NT interactions/friendships if that’s what he wants. I would definitely not consider Potomac. Just from their summer camp experience it is very clear they don’t want or encourage any kind of neurodivergent students to attend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Doesn't the application say that you need to disclose previous evaluations?

That seems pretty illegal.

It's a private school. What law do you think is broken?

Prefacing offering a service on knowledge of medical history? The ADA for one

utterly false

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Private schools have no legal obligation to provide services or accommodations. By not bringing it up you have no idea if they are or are not supportive. Usually they are not supportive.

My child had a diagnosis several years after we started at one of the schools you referenced, since we started in preschool. The school has provided minimal accommodations and I definitely get the sense they would prefer not to have students like mine. We are looking at other options for middle school.

I don't see the Big 3 providing the supports you might need, OP. My child with a similar profile went to the McLean School and then Langley high with an IEP. Then accomodations in college.

[Anonymous]

DO NOT DISCLOSE if he's academically on or above target and socially passable. Disclosures are only necessary when you're requesting services and accommodations for academic, executive function or behavioral issues.

I know an Aspie teen girl who was admitted to Sidwell in 9th grade; and and ADHD tween girl who was admitted to GDS in 7th grade. My own ADHD/ASD son stayed in MCPS for all of K-12, because he qualified for their Gifted, Talented and Learning Disabled program, which provided both opportunities to access advanced courses and also services and accommodations with trained teachers and counselors. It was a better fit for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Doesn't the application say that you need to disclose previous evaluations?

That seems pretty illegal.

It's a private school. What law do you think is broken?

Prefacing offering a service on knowledge of medical history? The ADA for one

Are you sure you didn’t mean to invoke “HIPPA”?

[Anonymous]

Do not disclose for Potomac. Their services and coordinator k-6 are tragic and they will just discriminate in later years. That said, the kids might well fit in. Lots of quirky bright kids who are not NT (just parents usually don’t tell…).