Yeah, we started with some specific questions asking for names like "Darla is having a thought time adjusting so we'd like to set up some playdates to help her get to know other kids and be more comfortable. Do you have any suggestions for who she seems to connect with? She tells us she doesn't remember anyone's names." The teacher wouldn't answer that. So we pivoted to, "Does she talk to kids at lunch? Does she play with other kids at recess?" But the teacher wouldn't answer those either, using the same excuse. |
Is the teacher new to teaching?
I’ve had kids in APS for 10 years, and the teachers have always been able/willing to answer the questions you describe, even at the fall conference. And have asked questions about what our kids do outside of school, how they feel about school, etc. Our elementary sends home a grade-level newsletter once a month, I think. The teachers also sometimes email the parents with updates on what the class is doing. Going from pre-K to K, though, is definitely a transition. Public schools are very different from preschools in terms of communication, parent involvement, etc. I don’t think your issue has much to do with APS, specifically. |
This is strange… my kids’ teachers have discussed kids my kid seemed to get along with well, suggested kids they might like to play with based on common interests, etc. No qualms about naming names in this context (vs a negative context). |
That sounds really frustrating. If the teacher wasn't aware of the issue, she should at least have taken in your comment and had some suggestions, e.g. thank you for letting me know. I will watch how things are going and get back to you in a few days. That's what DD's 1st grade teacher did when she was (unknown to him) having a tough time adjusting to the new group. After a couple days he moved her to sit with a couple girls he thought she'd do well with and things were better after that. I would contact the school counselor for advice. |
You sound high maintenance
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I think some of what you describe is the transition from pre-K to K, some is teacher specific. I've had multiple kids in APS and this year is the worst as far as communications coming from so many directions. Don't get me wrong I welcome communication, but it is in so many different places, as OP mentioned. I'd think ONE district could use ONE platform, like maybe send an email with a link to ParentVue and all the docs in there? Or teachers use one platform, the rest of APS uses another platform. If they're going to use so many platforms, they should have webpage somewhere listing all of the different communication methods and what they are used for.
As for your teacher not knowing your kid very well in the fall, I don't think that is too surprising, especially if your kid is on the quieter side. Teachers have been getting to know 23 or so kids. I've had teachers who completely knew my child (when the child was very bubbly and talkative), a teacher who completely mislabeled my child an introvert (when they were back to school for the first time after COVID and in reality overwhelmed with the noise and large number of kids they hadn't been used to being around), a teacher the following year asked if I would like them to encourage my child to work more in groups with peers (yes! thank you!!!!), a teacher who just let my child read several books in a corner every day when they were done with their school work, a teacher who insisted everything was fine when my kid had anxiety but wasn't causing any problem, a teacher who would share nothing when I asked about the social struggles my child was having (and reporting to me), a teacher who named other children when talking about how my child was interacting with other kids, a teacher who told me my child had one friend in class while a specials teacher that same year listed several kids my child played with. Some of it is the teacher. Some of it is the nature of school (again, around 23 kids with one adult). The adult has to focus on kids acting out and causing problems, not the quiet kid who isn't bothering their neighbor. Similarly, I've found the weekly emails from teachers of varying usefulness. We haven't always had teachers who sent them. One year the teacher was very inconsistent in sending the grade level newsletter (other parents in the grader received it regularly, our class's teacher just didn't always send it). When i see "deepening our understanding of X" for four weeks in a a row I'm not really learning anything from the newsletter. I do appreciate when they also include what is coming up the next week. |
It was a few years ago. I was just supporting the OP's experience that teacher communications can really vary. |
Welcome to Arlington. |
OP Here. To address some of the questions above - Yes, we do get a sheet each month of what they are learning in the classroom. It comes home as a print out and has general topics. For example, it's November, so they are learning about Veteran's Day. It's good to know but also extremely general. Teacher is newer.
The principal uses parent square to send out mass Friday notices with Principal email. The teacher has sent Parentsquare updates twice this year. A class weekly summary would be useful, but I would not expect the teacher to send me an individualized summary about my child every week in public school. Even in private school, doing that for 15 kids would take forever. I also don't expect daycare type summaries. But it's a huge gap from a weekly type summary to the feeling of 'your child met the benchmark, so they are fine and we don't have to worry about them'. They are still a person. I would like for our student to learn something even if they met or exceeded the benchmark. This may not have been the intended message, but the overall feeling I got was that unless they are disruptive or flagged by the district as not meeting the minimum scores, they are going to get lost in the shuffle / fall in the cracks / saddled with busy work / insert cliche phrase here. I can see how the teacher makes a huge, huge difference. Our neighbors who are with different teachers seem thrilled. Are we allowed to ask for teachers? I doubt they would allow that. |
Why would you think your kid isn't learning? I guess I don't understand that jump.
But yes if your kid is meeting or exceeding the benchmark they may get a little less individualized attention, but it doesn't mean that they aren't being taught. I really would reach out to the teacher with your concerns. I find the conferences to be kind of "meh" but teachers may be more willing to go into detail over email. |
We are at Claremont and every teacher my children have had so far have sent out weekly newsletters with class information. It is more on the general side. In K and first, the teachers send home the paper work the kids do in class every day so that we can see what they are working on, which also helps. WIth that said, our conferences have been much different: we get a lot of personalized information about our kids (and each teacher has ~50 kids since we switch from English to Spanish) and the teachers have told me about friends my children have that I didn't even know about. I suspect you may have a stale teacher.
On the other hand, the biggest thing I have learned over the years is that kids who don't create trouble don't necessarily get a lot of attention. This is understandable - if a child is struggling, teachers and admin are going to want to focus there, and they have just so many hours in the day. I'm the type of person who generally doesn't want to bother teachers and staff who I know are overworked and underpaid, so I've had to remind myself over the years to speak up when I notice something with my kids that they need to know / should be paying attention to, or if I have questions that are important to have answered. |
I hope you’ll be sure to thank her! It is indeed teacher specific… I did this before I had kids and APS piled so many other things on my plate. 😁 |
That’s ridiculous. But I will add that it may be a bananas-crazy edict from a principal they’re following. |
Tuckahoe does this. It's an email for the whole grade level. The teachers work as a team. |
Op if your teacher is MG it’s her not you. |