Bringing up things in a constructive way with angry spouse

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would you want your kids exposed to this day in and day out?

great questions for American family court system

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would you want your kids exposed to this day in and day out?

This. Why are you not moving towards ending this?

NP and not in OP's shoes, but: People on these threads always talk about ending it, not letting kids think terrible treatment is OK or should be endured, etc. And that is all true, I agree. But at the same time -- what if they divorce and the angry DH has the kids 50 percent of the time, so 50 percent of the time the kids are exposed to his anger without OP there to mitigate it? How does that affect the kids? Won't they potentially grow up resenting dad or even hating him, possibly resenting mom for "leaving" them with angry dad so much of the time (I know, not the case, but it's how a younger kid might perceive it)? Or maybe worse, picking up dad's behaviors as their model and acting out angrily at mom, each other, etc.?

I'm not asking with snark and to be clear I am NOT advocating "stay for the kids" here or in any other context but I do always wonder about the "leave him" advice; it's solid, since NO one should be treated badly. But when there are kids, especially young ones with years of mom's house/dad's house tradeoffs ahead of them-- how do you handle the problem of the angry, shouty parent being solo with them for half their lives, year after year?