Death threat in elementary school - what are the consequences? (If any)

[Anonymous]

Week 2 of Kindergarten, my son got tagged out in some game at recess, got mad and said “I’m going to kill you”. Trip to the principals office, phone call to me at work on speaker phone. Requirement that my husband and I meet with the school psychologist. Normally they would suspended him because of zero tolerance, but “just this one” they would give him a second chance— because he had just turned 5 and it was his 7th day of school.

This was 18 years ago, and it was the only disciplinary infraction for my kid in 13 years at FCPS (he was later diagnosed with ADHD, which shocked no one).

Honestly, I thought. FCPS was being ridiculous. A serious threat, repeat threats, targeted bully of another kid— unacceptable, and there should be serious consequences, like suspension. But a just turned 5 year old transitioning to school? We talked to him and it never happened again. The school should have imposed a consequence and moved on. But the, “we take this as serious as calculated threat by high school kids”, one size fits all, you need to meet with the school psychologist? Over the top, given the circumstances, which were words spoken once when a 5 year old was frustrated that he clearly had no intention of following through on. I mean— he didn’t touch the their kid.

Maybe it because aim the mom, and this particular kid has done poorly with transitions his whole life. But this felt very pearl clutching.

White male students.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Restorative justice?

I’m sure we all know this but this isn’t happening in schools. What IS happening is a reactive pull back from ever giving consequences because discipline data showed that black, brown, and students with disabilities were being punished more often and more harshly than white and Asian and non disabled students. So now nobody gets consequences so the data can’t look bad. Fun, huh!

-teacher

But someone in the big restorative justice thread keeps claiming “every teacher just loves restorative justice” Lol

Wonder if someone from Gatehouse is assigned to post BS here on DCUM?

Doubtful but there is nothing to love about nonexistent restorative justice. Children need boundaries, structure, consequences. Restorative justice can never be implemented in public schools the way it is intended, so it’s not implemented at all other than in name, which just leads to mayhem and kids running the place.

[Anonymous]

There are none.

Last year a 1st grade boy who harassed my child constantly gave my son a drawing and said "This is a picture of me killing you with my knife." My son showed me the drawing and I photocopied it and sent it in to the school. Even though that child had a history of harassing my son and we had filed prior bullying complaint, there were no consequences given to this child because they said they couldn't "prove" it was him.

[Anonymous]

As you've seen by the responses on this thread, OP, consequences largely depend on the culture at your child's school, and how the Principal views things. Principals have a lot of power over their schools.

What you can do, is to go over the head of the Principal. Call central office, ask who to contact for a safety issue, or look at the website and figure it out. It's the only way to hold Principals accountable, and sometimes it doesn't work if the higher-ups side with the Principal. Parents are usually loathe to do this if their kid has several more years at the school, in case of retribution, so only you can determine whether this is important enough for your child's wellbeing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are none.

Last year a 1st grade boy who harassed my child constantly gave my son a drawing and said "This is a picture of me killing you with my knife." My son showed me the drawing and I photocopied it and sent it in to the school. Even though that child had a history of harassing my son and we had filed prior bullying complaint, there were no consequences given to this child because they said they couldn't "prove" it was him.

Sad where all this is headed: since the schools are failing in their responsibility to maintain school discipline, parents will find alternatives.

In this case, PP, the drawing would meet the burden of proof for a restraining order.

No, I am not joking. At least one other parent - I believe in the teen forum - brought it up after their child (a bully apparently), was the subject of a restraining order.

An order from a judge is an enforceable order on the school, since they are “in loco parentis” - a legal term of art meaning in place of the parents.

If the school fails to abide by the terms of the restraining order, you can easily go back to court and seek enforcement and/or damages from the school.

It is sad FCPS has chosen to go so “woke” and ignore basic school discipline. But the results - restraining orders on students - should surprise no one.

[Anonymous]

At our school, a first grader with a poor behavioral profile threatened a teacher’s kid in his class by saying he was going to bring his grandpa’s gun to school and kill him. It was two days before the principal found time to do a threat assessment, which of course was not found credible. I don’t care if it was a real threat or not. The message needs to be that there will be immediate follow up and phone calls home. Kids need to learn that you can’t threaten each other. The regulations need to include a time factor for the threat assessment.

Regarding restorative justice- it’s not used the way it should be. What I have seen at schools where I taught is a kid calls another kid a racial nasty name. Both kids sit with an adult with no training. The White kid says sorry, and the Black kid feels like they should accept the apology to please the adult. The kid who made the slur should be on in-school suspension immediately, and the incident should be logged in the bullying database, and the parents forced to come in. The Black kid should be offered counseling and their parents notified. But nope, that would appear in school statistics and Gatehouse will call the principal and complain that the principal needs to get the school under control.

[Anonymous]

My friend's niece (5th or 6th grade) said to another student something like "I'll kill you." and she got a police search of her $1.6 mil home and a 3 day suspension.

Note that the other girl had first said to the niece something like "you probably killed your father" or "your father probably killed himself..."

This happened within 3 weeks of the niece's father actually having a massive heart attack and dying at the home just before school on a weekday.

There were no guns in the home, but they still gave this girl (the niece whose father died) a three day suspension.

[Anonymous]

Restorative Justice is another term for feral kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So no response from OP? It’s been almost 9 hours. Is this post even for real?

OP here - This post is for real. I don't want to share details. I have seen posts written by people I know and it's very easy to identify someone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Week 2 of Kindergarten, my son got tagged out in some game at recess, got mad and said “I’m going to kill you”. Trip to the principals office, phone call to me at work on speaker phone. Requirement that my husband and I meet with the school psychologist. Normally they would suspended him because of zero tolerance, but “just this one” they would give him a second chance— because he had just turned 5 and it was his 7th day of school.

This was 18 years ago, and it was the only disciplinary infraction for my kid in 13 years at FCPS (he was later diagnosed with ADHD, which shocked no one).

Honestly, I thought. FCPS was being ridiculous. A serious threat, repeat threats, targeted bully of another kid— unacceptable, and there should be serious consequences, like suspension. But a just turned 5 year old transitioning to school? We talked to him and it never happened again. The school should have imposed a consequence and moved on. But the, “we take this as serious as calculated threat by high school kids”, one size fits all, you need to meet with the school psychologist? Over the top, given the circumstances, which were words spoken once when a 5 year old was frustrated that he clearly had no intention of following through on. I mean— he didn’t touch the their kid.

Maybe it because aim the mom, and this particular kid has done poorly with transitions his whole life. But this felt very pearl clutching.

White male students.

Which is why he didn't get suspended.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Week 2 of Kindergarten, my son got tagged out in some game at recess, got mad and said “I’m going to kill you”. Trip to the principals office, phone call to me at work on speaker phone. Requirement that my husband and I meet with the school psychologist. Normally they would suspended him because of zero tolerance, but “just this one” they would give him a second chance— because he had just turned 5 and it was his 7th day of school.

This was 18 years ago, and it was the only disciplinary infraction for my kid in 13 years at FCPS (he was later diagnosed with ADHD, which shocked no one).

Honestly, I thought. FCPS was being ridiculous. A serious threat, repeat threats, targeted bully of another kid— unacceptable, and there should be serious consequences, like suspension. But a just turned 5 year old transitioning to school? We talked to him and it never happened again. The school should have imposed a consequence and moved on. But the, “we take this as serious as calculated threat by high school kids”, one size fits all, you need to meet with the school psychologist? Over the top, given the circumstances, which were words spoken once when a 5 year old was frustrated that he clearly had no intention of following through on. I mean— he didn’t touch the their kid.

Maybe it because aim the mom, and this particular kid has done poorly with transitions his whole life. But this felt very pearl clutching.

White male students.

Which is why he didn't get suspended.

Or, the second week of kindergarten and a playground frustration, rather a substantive threat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My friend's niece (5th or 6th grade) said to another student something like "I'll kill you." and she got a police search of her $1.6 mil home and a 3 day suspension.

Note that the other girl had first said to the niece something like "you probably killed your father" or "your father probably killed himself..."

This happened within 3 weeks of the niece's father actually having a massive heart attack and dying at the home just before school on a weekday.

There were no guns in the home, but they still gave this girl (the niece whose father died) a three day suspension.

That’s an interesting detail to chose to include.

[Anonymous]

Since the school won’t address the issue because, “equity,” just hire a lawyer and get a restraining order.

When the school ignores that, sue FCPS.

Sad the schools are making us go this route. But it is 100% on the schools. Ie - Reid and the LWNJ school board.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friend's niece (5th or 6th grade) said to another student something like "I'll kill you." and she got a police search of her $1.6 mil home and a 3 day suspension.

Note that the other girl had first said to the niece something like "you probably killed your father" or "your father probably killed himself..."

This happened within 3 weeks of the niece's father actually having a massive heart attack and dying at the home just before school on a weekday.

There were no guns in the home, but they still gave this girl (the niece whose father died) a three day suspension.

That’s an interesting detail to chose to include.

The police did not let relative wealth stop them from searching the home. Didn't matter if she lived in an apartment or a new house... they were going to search it... and they did. White female (11-ish? yrs old).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At our school, a first grader with a poor behavioral profile threatened a teacher’s kid in his class by saying he was going to bring his grandpa’s gun to school and kill him. It was two days before the principal found time to do a threat assessment, which of course was not found credible. I don’t care if it was a real threat or not. The message needs to be that there will be immediate follow up and phone calls home. Kids need to learn that you can’t threaten each other. The regulations need to include a time factor for the threat assessment.

Regarding restorative justice- it’s not used the way it should be. What I have seen at schools where I taught is a kid calls another kid a racial nasty name. Both kids sit with an adult with no training. The White kid says sorry, and the Black kid feels like they should accept the apology to please the adult. The kid who made the slur should be on in-school suspension immediately, and the incident should be logged in the bullying database, and the parents forced to come in. The Black kid should be offered counseling and their parents notified. But nope, that would appear in school statistics and Gatehouse will call the principal and complain that the principal needs to get the school under control.

But don’t let a black kid even so much as give a white kid the side eye, immediate in school suspension.

I have a kid who was called the N word by another student and it unfolded just as you described.

That same kid who called my kid the N word in school grounds just got his block knocked off because he said some very unkind words (“fighting words”) to another brown kid, this happened outside of school, and I’m sure you guessed it, the brown kid got called into the principles office and a call home to his parents.

You can’t make this stuff up. The entire system deserves to be slapped with a giant class action lawsuit. There is something seriously off with FCPS.